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Call me stupid but what exactly is the point of people using "them/they" pronouns?

I really don't understand it. I made the mistake of calling someone a she once and her friend corrected me and said "they/them". How the hell am I supposed to know?

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BlueVeins · 22-25

I think the problem here is... more broadly, the belief that being corrected is equivalent to recieving blame for wrongdoing. It's ultimately the burden of non-binary folks to make their deviations from the general population known; it just so happens, unfortunately, that correcting you is the only way they can do that sometimes.

TheSacredOne · 36-40, M

@BlueVeins Yeah but it's ridiculous for someone to get mad at me for not knowing when you are a total stranger to me. I'm sorry but if you look female I will call you a she because that's how you look to me. Same goes for a man.

TheOneyouwerewarnedabout · 41-45, MVIP

👌

BlueVeins · 22-25

@TheSacredOne Yeah, I'll agree that getting mad about something so trivial and understandable is fairly dumb. It's sort of an unfortunate situation because it takes fairly deliberate effort to make that kind of correction without sounding defensive or smug, but if someone's getting transparently agressive about it, they better dial it back.

SW-User

It's just how English grammar works. If that's not the case and you're actually referring to why some people prefer to be called "they/them" then it's because they want to be referred as somewhere between the two sexes...

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SW-User

@TheSacredOne You gotta play their rules here if you don't want them to flip out lol

revenant · F

@SW-User I could swear your answer did.

SW-User

@revenant Didn't you see the part "If that's not the case"?

Thursday · 22-25, F

Finally somebody said it, I thought I was the only person who didn't understand honestly.
Who cares what pronoun people call you?
Why can't people just know who they are and move on?
It's not my job to look beyond you, It's your job to know that on the inside you are a female or male or just nothing in between. Just be comfortable with yourself enough to not care at all.

TheSacredOne · 36-40, M

@Thursday I'm just glad someone younger agrees. I thought it was just I'm a grumpy old man thing.

revenant · F

@Thursday you live in the real world not the heathers..eathers..whatever lol

TheOneyouwerewarnedabout · 41-45, MVIP

Tell them to shut their hippy faces

revenant · F

I think it boils down to attention seeking frankly

TheSacredOne · 36-40, M

@revenant Probably but I really don't understand the point of it. You're either a he or a she not a they or a them as that to me refers to multiple people at once.

revenant · F

@TheSacredOne I do not get it either at all. To me it is pushing the buttons like teens before used to want to wear this or that but now that much is permissible..got to try something else. I do not know really I am not a teen anymore

Orlando

@TheSacredOne If one were using proper english, THEY would know that the pronouns "they / them" can be used in the singular and have been used as such for years.

Aside from that, is learning and doing better and generally being a nice human being.

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/they

Long before the use of generic he was condemned as sexist, the pronouns they, their, and them were used in educated speech and in all but the most formal writing to refer to singular indefinite pronouns or singular nouns of general personal reference (which are often not felt to be exclusively singular): If anyone calls, tell them I'll be back soon. A parent should read to their child. Such use is not a recent development, nor is it a mark of ignorance. Shakespeare, Swift, Shelley, Scott, and Dickens, as well as many other English and American writers, have used they and its related case forms to refer to singular antecedents. Already widespread in the language (though still rejected as ungrammatical by some), this use of they, their, and them is increasing in all but the most conservatively edited American English. This increased use is at least partly impelled by the desire to avoid generic he or the awkward he/she and he or she when the antecedent’s gender is not known or when the referent is of mixed gender: The victim had money and jewelry taken from them. It’s hard to move an aging mother or father from their long-term home.
However, while use of they and its forms after singular indefinite pronouns or singular nouns of general personal reference or indefinite gender is common and generally acceptable, their use to refer to a single clearly specified, known, or named person is uncommon and likely to be noticed and criticized, as in this example: My hair stylist had their car stolen. Even so, use of they, their, and them is increasingly found in contexts where the antecedent is a gender-nonconforming individual or one who does not identify as male or female: Tyler indicated their preferences on their application.

Gusman · 61-69, M

Purely winding you up. These people like the sound of their own voice to much. Why can they not hold their tongue. Pretentious people must always speak up so as to appear superior. Give them a slap next time🙂

samueltyler2 · 80-89, M

The problem arises when one accepts that sexuality is not necessarily limited to 2 sexes. Medically, we recognized ambiguous genitalia over 50 years ago and thus realized that one's sexuality is not just based on genitalia or even chromosomes. There are individuals with only one x chromosome and none other, called XO, there are supermales with XYY, there are even those who although possessing the XY configuration, have bodies that are unresponsive to testosterone and are physically more female than male.

If this is all confusing to you, maybe then you will understand the use of the confusing pronoun, they.

TwiddlerofThumbs · F

when the silly asian girl that hangs out with your kid says she a man, and gets all hurt when you use the pronoun she - you quit fucking caring. They/them can go fuck themselves.

SW-User

It used to be used strictly for plural but somewhere along the way we substituted it for when gender is unknown because calling a single person an "It" is apparently offensive.

Anonymartyr · M

You do need to know whether "she" is really a she before bringing her to your place agter the bar, and probably even better to know before you spend a lot of money.