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Have you ever thought about your conversation style and your intent?

When engaged in conversation with someone, do you really listen to what is being said to understand the other person, or do you listen with the intent of having a quick answer or just to tell your own story? There is such a difference in someone who is genuine and someone who simply wants to hear themselves talk.
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twistedrope · 26-30, M
M... Sometimes I'll stop myself in the middle of a conversation if I'm talking too much an not listening. Then think for a moment, look back and say "Sorry, I went on too long. You were saying..." Then repeat back what they said along with "Could you tell me more about that?". It happens less often these days, but generally I'm an active listener.

I'm probably kinda stressed if it comes to me rambling too long though. And I'm probably really just venting and thinking its me giving my opinion. I think I usually use a counter that's "If I'm talking for more then 60 seconds or 120 seconds, I need to check if this person has a response no matter how important what I'm saying feels to me." Good system ^^
Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F
I'm not good at lengthy conversations.
Tend to be short and direct.
It's somewhat a handicap,I suppose.
I am polite and try to listen.
I rarely tell people my own problems, when I have they don't seem very interested.
Sometimes, I think people look for admiration for unadmireable behavior or permission of a sort by way of validation ,not really interested in your opinion even when asked.
CrazyMusicLover · 31-35
I have always been more of a listener but I don't always have the capacity to process everything at the spot. I'm often too distracted by the environment or my own stray thoughts that are inspired by the conversation. When I'm in a public space, I have to be aware of what is going on around me and I can't 100% pay attention to what is the person I'm with saying. I can also stray off in my thoughts and then I have to say "I'm sorry, I wasn't listening to you. What were you saying?" Sometimes I recall some conversation and process it again when I'm alone and in a familiar environment where nothing new distracts me.
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
@CrazyMusicLover If we are beinging honest, I think straying thoughts happen to all of us sometimes. I doubt anyone can be focused 100% of the time.
I try to be a good listener and engage on the other person's thoughts and interests. I hope it is coming across that way.
being · 36-40, F
I think it's about having an exchange and realising it's not about me and nor about them, but rather, it's about us, what we create as we converse in togetherness
Im a good listener. People open up to me, I try to be supportive. Or I'm trying to make people laugh. I don't talk about myself much anymore.
Adogslife · 61-69, M
I think I listen to act, react, for validation or just to be a listening ear. It depends on the situation and sex of the person speaking.

I’m not much on interjecting the “my story” part. No one really cares and reverse empathy is kind of narcissistic.
I'm attentive, but not for the sole purpose to understand the other person. I listen mostly because I've learned that the less I say, the better off I am.
Tumbleweed · F
I always have two way conversations. It's not all about ME, it's about US
Ferric67 · M
I always listen with the intent to understand where the other person is coming from
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
@Ferric67 Same.
Ferric67 · M
@LadyBronte makes me a good communicator
masterofyou · 70-79, M
Always listen, sometimes reply with the truth but sometimes the truth isn't wanted....
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3Dogmatic · 46-50, M
We have two ears and one mouth. We should listen twice as much as we talk.
tenente · 100+, M
i've been accused of many things but i've never been accused of being dismissive
masterofyou · 70-79, M
People never want to hear the truth...

 
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