Have you ever thought about your conversation style and your intent?

When engaged in conversation with someone, do you really listen to what is being said to understand the other person, or do you listen with the intent of having a quick answer or just to tell your own story? There is such a difference in someone who is genuine and someone who simply wants to hear themselves talk.

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SomeMichGuy · M

I have been in many different types.

When I have time, I like to take the time to ask questions to understand others and restate what they tell me in order to make sure I am understanding them as they wish to be understood.

Sometimes, I don't have time, or I am sick of nonsense, or just being silly, myself...and that isn't at all the samen any more than the inspectional ("pidgeon-holing"/evaluation) level of reading is the same as the syntopical reading in Adler & Van Doren's How to Read a Book...

LadyBronte · 56-60, F

@SomeMichGuy Oh sure. There are all types of conversations, situations, and expectations. We adapt to each as we can. I agree, there is no comparison between some types of convos.

SomeMichGuy · M

@LadyBronte Some people I have spoken with about their issues and I have striven to help them.

That starts with understanding their pain in their own words, and trying to help them realize that they have agency in moving on and taking back control from whoever/whatever hurt them.

A few have claimed to have been helped, and have made changes. Others have at least been heard and understood, but it is unclear to what extent it helped, if at all.

LadyBronte · 56-60, F

@SomeMichGuy To be heard and understood... I think it is what most strive for. But not everyone offers that grace in return.

SomeMichGuy · M

@LadyBronte When people are in existential pain--like so many here who have past pains destroying their todays and cutting off their tomorrows--I don't look for them to try to engage me in that fashion (nor do I particularly need it).

But by being curious about understanding their pain...well, earnest questions and listening tends to get one to engage...and that at least can allow a person to discharge that...

LadyBronte · 56-60, F

@SomeMichGuy I do agree.

SomeMichGuy · M

@LadyBronte Thanks!