What's your favorite Mitch Hedberg line?

For me, it changes from time to time. Today I think it's:

... "my belt is holding up my pants and my belt loops are holding up my belt. ..so what's really going on down there? Who's the real hero?" 😆😁😄

RIP Mitch Hedberg 😇

Top | Newest First | Oldest First

GlitterEater · 36-40, F

There was a sign that said “this door must remain closed at all times” and I thought “shouldn’t that be a wall?”

Jayciedubb · 56-60, M

@GlitterEater "I was standing next to the door at the casino and the security guard told me i couldn't stand there because i was blocking the fire exit, ..as though if there was a fire. I wouldn't be running out of there. ..if you're flammable and have legs, you're never blocking the fire exit.."

Lostpoet · M

This is a picture of me when I was younger 😎 every picture of you is when you were younger.

Koala bears they are so freaking cute why can't one be next to me

TryingtoLava

'I like escalators. When an escalator stops working it becomes stairs. *funny laugh* alriiighhhtt'

Jayciedubb · 56-60, M

@TryingtoLava "alriighhhtt" lol nice touch!

How about when he said, "y'all gotta be liking me better than that. Y'all be liking me like, pancakes! ..all happy to see me at first.." I'm paraphrasing and butchering it up but the gist of it was about how happy we get when our pancakes arrive but shortly later, we're sick of them.

Madmonk · M

Every time I bake a potato I think of him

View 1 more replies »

Madmonk · M

@Jayciedubb every. Single. Time.

The dude was pure genius

Jayciedubb · 56-60, M

" sometimes I forget to take off the emergency brake and I'll drive 10 miles with the emergency brake on. That doesn't say much about me as a driver but it says even less about the emergency brake. They shouldn't call it an emergency brake. They should call it an emergency make the car smell funny lever." 😆😅😁

Jayciedubb · 56-60, M

@Madmonk what about when you eat "corn off of the cob," or donuts..or pancakes. ..lol

Now that you mention it, i do think of him every time i get sick of pancakes after being so stoked about them just minutes before. ..and when i eat corn ..and anytime I'm asked if i want my receipt for some take-out i just purchased.. "no need to bring ink and paper into this." ..

RedBaron · M

Never heard of the guy.

Jayciedubb · 56-60, M

@RedBaron you've never even read about the guy?

RedBaron · M

@Jayciedubb No. Why should I have? What’s he known for?

bijouxbroussard · F

You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don’t want to eat the fish. They just want to make it late for something.

Jayciedubb · 56-60, M

@bijouxbroussard whats up with the people passing out fliers outside of night clubs.. it's like they're saying, "here, you throw this away."

This message was deleted by its author.

Jayciedubb · 56-60, M

@SW-User " I used to do drugs. I still do drugs but I used to do them too."

Add a comment...