Went to the States and got called M’am. Everywhere!
Man it makes a woman feel old hearing that when she’s not used to it.
I don’t think anyone in Canada has ever called me m’am
I don’t think anyone in Canada has ever called me m’am
sarabee1995 · 26-30, F
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
@sarabee1995 I am going to hold onto that mental picture...😷
sarabee1995 · 26-30, F
@whowasthatmaskedman Huh??
SandWitch · 26-30, F
@sarabee1995
I have been getting called ma'am anytime I've been visiting the USA from the time I was 18 years old and wearing blue jeans and a sweat shirt. I don't believe that @Jenny1234 was making her post in reference to her wearing a uniform when she experiences this unusual custom in the USA.
I have been getting called ma'am anytime I've been visiting the USA from the time I was 18 years old and wearing blue jeans and a sweat shirt. I don't believe that @Jenny1234 was making her post in reference to her wearing a uniform when she experiences this unusual custom in the USA.
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
While we were waiting for a flight in LAX ten years ago, my wife struck up a conversation With a huge tall Texan who could have been a young Jack Reacher. He was fascinated by her mild scottish accent and loomed over all five foot of her for over an hour . The end of every sentence was "Ma'am". He was a lovely guy. But he "Ma'amed" her half to death. She talked about it for days and in the end I started calling her "Ma'am" with a fake accent to get her to shut up about it..😷
DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
BrandNewMan · M
ArtieKat · M
When I was younger, women in English clothes shops would greeted (for example) "What is madam looking for?". I rather like the Southern US olde-worlde courtesy of addressing people as "Sir" and "Ma'am"
SandWitch · 26-30, F
I experience exactly the same thing when I travel to the USA, which is only on business these days. Even in my adolescent past as a teenager I was experiencing America's over-use of "ma'am" every single place I went to in America on a vacation visit, to the point were I felt the expression "ma'am" was SO overdone in America that it's use as an expression of respect has rendered itself meaningless. This is because our ears don't actually hear it anymore despite it being spoken repeatedly.
The same thing happens in the USA when males speak to other males I've noticed, where one always calls the other "sir" in every other sentence they speak. Like, what is that about, particularly when an older male is addressing a much younger adult male where the older guy will repeated address the younger guy as "sir"?
Where I come from and pretty much everywhere else in the world where I travel to on business, an older man would never call his younger counterpart "sir" in any situation because to do so is a direct reversal of hierarchy in the expression of respect for our elders.
Elders do not typically address underlings as "sir" or "ma'am" in any culture in the world I've experienced, but younger males are typically taught to address their elder males as "sir", with the exception of American culture where every male is called "sir" regardless of how old they are.
The same thing happens in the USA when males speak to other males I've noticed, where one always calls the other "sir" in every other sentence they speak. Like, what is that about, particularly when an older male is addressing a much younger adult male where the older guy will repeated address the younger guy as "sir"?
Where I come from and pretty much everywhere else in the world where I travel to on business, an older man would never call his younger counterpart "sir" in any situation because to do so is a direct reversal of hierarchy in the expression of respect for our elders.
Elders do not typically address underlings as "sir" or "ma'am" in any culture in the world I've experienced, but younger males are typically taught to address their elder males as "sir", with the exception of American culture where every male is called "sir" regardless of how old they are.
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SandWitch · 26-30, F
@sarabee1995
When in Rome, do as the Romans expect you to do sarabee, not as you damn well please when you're in their country. Calling non-Americans "yes sir and no ma'am" is viewed as disrespectful and INAPPROPRIATE around the world.
It's the American version of "showing respect" that deems your perception of showing respect inappropriate if used in countries other than the USA. That is why it is said that when in Rome, do as the Romans do, not what you're drill sergeant taught you to do back in the States, ffs's!
If you actually understood what I was talking about sarabee, you would not be ragging on and on about what you were taught in the US military or how you routinely conduct yourself in taekwondo class which nobody actually gives a damn about, because absolutely none of it is relevant to this conversation.
That is why Americans like yourself are viewed as grossly obtuse when they travel outside the borders of their own isolationist Nation to other more intellectually developed Nations around the world, because Americans are viewed as arrogant and disrespectful when they say BS like "yes sir and no ma'am" as they begin and end every single sentence they speak.
The term "Yankee go home" has great meaning and it came about from Americans who didn't possess the wherewithal to show respect for the culture of the country they were visiting when Americans so arrogantly imposed their old yankee-doodle-dandy flag-waving BS onto a culture that was not of their own making.
Let me also remind you sarabee that the USA is just one country, it is not the world, so when you travel to Europe or anywhere else in the world for that matter, stop pretending that you're just traveling to another part of the USA.
When in Rome, do as the Romans do!
When in Rome, do as the Romans expect you to do sarabee, not as you damn well please when you're in their country. Calling non-Americans "yes sir and no ma'am" is viewed as disrespectful and INAPPROPRIATE around the world.
It's the American version of "showing respect" that deems your perception of showing respect inappropriate if used in countries other than the USA. That is why it is said that when in Rome, do as the Romans do, not what you're drill sergeant taught you to do back in the States, ffs's!
If you actually understood what I was talking about sarabee, you would not be ragging on and on about what you were taught in the US military or how you routinely conduct yourself in taekwondo class which nobody actually gives a damn about, because absolutely none of it is relevant to this conversation.
That is why Americans like yourself are viewed as grossly obtuse when they travel outside the borders of their own isolationist Nation to other more intellectually developed Nations around the world, because Americans are viewed as arrogant and disrespectful when they say BS like "yes sir and no ma'am" as they begin and end every single sentence they speak.
The term "Yankee go home" has great meaning and it came about from Americans who didn't possess the wherewithal to show respect for the culture of the country they were visiting when Americans so arrogantly imposed their old yankee-doodle-dandy flag-waving BS onto a culture that was not of their own making.
Let me also remind you sarabee that the USA is just one country, it is not the world, so when you travel to Europe or anywhere else in the world for that matter, stop pretending that you're just traveling to another part of the USA.
When in Rome, do as the Romans do!
sarabee1995 · 26-30, F
@SandWitch
When in Rome, do as the Romans do!
We are in agreement there! I travel extensively for work throughout Eastern Europe and parts of the Middle East. As part of my job, I review protocol documents to ensure we are in compliance with local cultures, etc. My use of sir and ma'am are limited to the States where it is more common and more accepted. I'm glad to hear you will "do as the Romans" when you are here and not be offended by local custom.
SandWitch · 26-30, F
@sarabee1995
That is correct. When I am in the United States and someone calls me ma'am, I am not offended because Americans using ma'am to address females who appear to have reached the age of majority and therefore are old enough to vote (which is 18 years of age and older and potentially still attending high school, regardless of her marital status being single, married or otherwise), it is understood that in American social culture within the USA, it is customary for Americans to address all said females as ma'am.
I'm glad to hear you will "do as the Romans" when you are here and not be offended by local custom.
That is correct. When I am in the United States and someone calls me ma'am, I am not offended because Americans using ma'am to address females who appear to have reached the age of majority and therefore are old enough to vote (which is 18 years of age and older and potentially still attending high school, regardless of her marital status being single, married or otherwise), it is understood that in American social culture within the USA, it is customary for Americans to address all said females as ma'am.
Pinkstarburst · F
FreeSpirit1 · F
SandWitch · 26-30, F
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@Lostpoet
Yeah, I hear you! The problem with teaching kids to call women who are older than they are, "ma'am" is that there doesn't appear to be any cut-off point in American culture where those same kids are taught to stop doing that!
I understand parents who try to teach their kids to respect people who are older than they are, but what the parents don't teach in addition to that is 'when', 'where' and 'for how long' their kid is actually still a kid, because eventually kids grow up and have to start thinking for themselves.
But when those now-adult kids keep talking to women and men as if those 'adult kids' are still 'young kids' and speaking to people who are much older than they are, it makes those 'adult kids' look like they never grew beyond their adolescent years when they unconsciously use expressions of 'elder respect' on women who are now younger than they are!
I may be wrong, but I can only assume that the reason American parents don't teach their kids where the cut-off point is for calling people 'ma'am' and 'sir', is because they don't know any better themselves, most likely because no one has ever challenged them on it, particularly if those parents have never left the USA and witnessed how the rest of the world's cultures do not include stuff like ma'am and sir spoken repeatedly during a conversation with anyone older or younger than they are.
Yeah, I hear you! The problem with teaching kids to call women who are older than they are, "ma'am" is that there doesn't appear to be any cut-off point in American culture where those same kids are taught to stop doing that!
I understand parents who try to teach their kids to respect people who are older than they are, but what the parents don't teach in addition to that is 'when', 'where' and 'for how long' their kid is actually still a kid, because eventually kids grow up and have to start thinking for themselves.
But when those now-adult kids keep talking to women and men as if those 'adult kids' are still 'young kids' and speaking to people who are much older than they are, it makes those 'adult kids' look like they never grew beyond their adolescent years when they unconsciously use expressions of 'elder respect' on women who are now younger than they are!
I may be wrong, but I can only assume that the reason American parents don't teach their kids where the cut-off point is for calling people 'ma'am' and 'sir', is because they don't know any better themselves, most likely because no one has ever challenged them on it, particularly if those parents have never left the USA and witnessed how the rest of the world's cultures do not include stuff like ma'am and sir spoken repeatedly during a conversation with anyone older or younger than they are.
Dino11 · M
Just out of respect,
StygianKohlrabi · M
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Shybutwilling2bfriends · 61-69