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Has your parent ever told you that you were a disappointment to them? How did it end in the long run? Did you prove them wrong?

My mom just said my sister and I have both been disappointments and we didnt do well enough in life compared to others' achievements and her expectations inspite of all the support my parents gave me through the years.
I flatly disagreed with her and told her I have always worked for what I wanted, and even though I am currently in a low phase career wise, I am working to achieve my goal, so not to talk down on me. She didnt reply. Even so, it has remained in the back of my head ever since.
Heretodaygonetomorrow
26-30, F
25 replies 79 views 3 hrs ago3 h
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Edited: 3 hrs ago
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midnightrose · F
No never. I'm sure I've disappointed them at times but it's always been focused on my behavior not me as a person.

I know it’s common for people to compare people to where other people are in life but I hate that. We are each on our own path. I'm glad you stood up for yourself. I'm sure it's been difficult to not let those words have an affect on you though.
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · 2 hrs ago2 h
Heretodaygonetomorrow · 26-30, F
@midnightrose Thank you for understanding. Yes, I've been down ever since. :(
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being · 36-40, F
@midnightrose you wrote this very well.. I agree..
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Carla · 61-69, F
Well, you are an adult. The only person you a required to please, is yourself.
Fortunately, my mother taught me this.
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Theophrastus
@Carla You gotta please those who succeed you, not yourself. Life isn't a self centered phenomena, if it was, Darwin wouldn't have a theory.
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Carla · 61-69, F
@Theophrastus no. There is nothing self centered about it. I cannot please others while being miserable. Even uncomfortable.
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Heretodaygonetomorrow · 26-30, F
@Carla i feel we cannot live our lives with the purpose of pleasing someone else. They always find some reason to complain or be discontent and that messes up our drive. Its better to just try your best everyday and try to please God (if you believe) and yourself. God is a lot more kind towards your struggles than your close ones who end up being judgemental
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slorollin · 41-45, M
Oh yeah, my dad would make sure and remind me every so often the me being born is what kept him from being able to live the life he deserved instead of stuck with the one he had. Thanks pops 👍
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Pfuzylogic · M
It is a toxic control issue that your parent has. Love them anyway.
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Heretodaygonetomorrow · 26-30, F
@Pfuzylogic my husband always said my mom was controlling and somehow I could never see it. I guess one needs to observe from a neutral distance.
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Pfuzylogic · M
@Heretodaygonetomorrow It might not seem controlling since she is your mom. She should have given you emotional independence when you became an adult. It is very common.
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · 2 hrs ago2 h · Edited: 1 hr ago
CrazyMusicLover · 31-35
Lol, all the time. Not literally but I can't count how many times I got: "I wished I would have a nice, lovely daughter and I got this rabid weirdo instead" 😂 Well, genes are genes. You can't expect to pick apples from a tomato plant.
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Lostpoet · M
I was born a little premature and my mom said that the doctor told her I would have learning difficulties. Which is BS there are a lot of people with high IQs that were born premature.
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Rebirth · 26-30, M
Im currently not talking to my mother anymore. I will clearly never meet her expectations.

I was always expected to be a failure in life.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
BarbossasHusband · 36-40, M
Pretty much every time I talk to my mom. I'm only still talking to her bc I'm scared of what she'll do otherwise
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 3 hrs ago3 h
being · 36-40, F
Oh yes. Years ago she's told me that, if she knew I would have turned out to be like that she'd have aborted me.
She's been a troubled and fearful soul my mom.
The more I'm growing up, the more mellow I become and more compassion I carry towards her. But I've spent years of depression and terrible concepts of self value, along with terrible decisions.
Everyone is carrying their demons.
Here trying to heal and succeeding .. there's hope, love 🌹
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
Lostpoet · M
I am a disappointment to myself and it wasn't my fault.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 2 hrs ago2 h
Browneyesarebest79 · 41-45, F
I know I was an oops baby and my dad felt like he had to marry my mom at the time. He told me once that he never saw himself as a dad. He never outright said that I wasn't wanted, but pushed me away once I left home.
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SStarfish ·
This reminds me of a very long story so i'll spare you the details .. you mom thinks too much of her efforts in you methinks. She overestimated her desired achievements for you.. that's her fault not yours 😅 smh
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · 34 mins ago34 m
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Heretodaygonetomorrow · 26-30, F
@jshm2 No. Its not that. I speak to her regularly. I always invite her home. Make initiatives to meet and give gifts. She was specifically talking about our career. My business closed recently and I have been unemployed for a month. She speaks in that regard.
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h · Edited: 1 hr ago
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Heretodaygonetomorrow · 26-30, F
@jshm2 It was a personal message over text. So dad wasnt a part of it. But dad, veing a businessman himself is generally more supportive. Tells me to take my time and figure out the next move.
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
 
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