People & Family > Family

Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

Has your parent ever told you that you were a disappointment to them? How did it end in the long run? Did you prove them wrong?

My mom just said my sister and I have both been disappointments and we didnt do well enough in life compared to others' achievements and her expectations inspite of all the support my parents gave me through the years.
I flatly disagreed with her and told her I have always worked for what I wanted, and even though I am currently in a low phase career wise, I am working to achieve my goal, so not to talk down on me. She didnt reply. Even so, it has remained in the back of my head ever since.

Top | Newest First | Oldest First

being · 36-40, F

Oh yes. Years ago she's told me that, if she knew I would have turned out to be like that she'd have aborted me.
She's been a troubled and fearful soul my mom.
The more I'm growing up, the more mellow I become and more compassion I carry towards her. But I've spent years of depression and terrible concepts of self value, along with terrible decisions.
Everyone is carrying their demons.
Here trying to heal and succeeding .. there's hope, love 🌹

slorollin · 41-45, M

Oh yeah, my dad would make sure and remind me every so often the me being born is what kept him from being able to live the life he deserved instead of stuck with the one he had. Thanks pops 👍

This comment is hidden. Show Comment

CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

Lol, all the time. Not literally but I can't count how many times I got: "I wished I would have a nice, lovely daughter and I got this rabid weirdo instead" 😂 Well, genes are genes. You can't expect to pick apples from a tomato plant.

midnightrose · F

No never. I'm sure I've disappointed them at times but it's always been focused on my behavior not me as a person.

I know it’s common for people to compare people to where other people are in life but I hate that. We are each on our own path. I'm glad you stood up for yourself. I'm sure it's been difficult to not let those words have an affect on you though.

Heretodaygonetomorrow · 26-30, F

@midnightrose Thank you for understanding. Yes, I've been down ever since. :(

being · 36-40, F

@midnightrose you wrote this very well.. I agree..

Carla · 61-69, F

Well, you are an adult. The only person you a required to please, is yourself.
Fortunately, my mother taught me this.

Motzu

@Carla You gotta please those who succeed you, not yourself. Life isn't a self centered phenomena, if it was, Darwin wouldn't have a theory.

Carla · 61-69, F

@Motzu no. There is nothing self centered about it. I cannot please others while being miserable. Even uncomfortable.

Heretodaygonetomorrow · 26-30, F

@Carla i feel we cannot live our lives with the purpose of pleasing someone else. They always find some reason to complain or be discontent and that messes up our drive. Its better to just try your best everyday and try to please God (if you believe) and yourself. God is a lot more kind towards your struggles than your close ones who end up being judgemental

Browneyesarebest79 · 41-45, F

I know I was an oops baby and my dad felt like he had to marry my mom at the time. He told me once that he never saw himself as a dad. He never outright said that I wasn't wanted, but pushed me away once I left home.

meggie · F

Yes I was "a bitter disappointment" to her and disowned. I don't really care anymore as I have what she will never know or have. Rather than her be honest and tell people she cut me off, she now says I landed on my feet and consider myself too good for her.

SW-User

Im currently not talking to my mother anymore. I will clearly never meet her expectations.

I was always expected to be a failure in life.

Pfuzylogic · M

It is a toxic control issue that your parent has. Love them anyway.

Heretodaygonetomorrow · 26-30, F

@Pfuzylogic my husband always said my mom was controlling and somehow I could never see it. I guess one needs to observe from a neutral distance.

Pfuzylogic · M

@Heretodaygonetomorrow It might not seem controlling since she is your mom. She should have given you emotional independence when you became an adult. It is very common.

BarbossasHusband · 36-40, M

Pretty much every time I talk to my mom. I'm only still talking to her bc I'm scared of what she'll do otherwise

Lostpoet · M

I am a disappointment to myself and it wasn't my fault.

Lostpoet · M

I was born a little premature and my mom said that the doctor told her I would have learning difficulties. Which is BS there are a lot of people with high IQs that were born premature.

smiler2012 · 56-60

@Heretodaygonetomorrow 🤔too be fair your mom may think this but she is your mom and there too back you not knock you and say both you and your sister where disappointments .from a parent who brought you both into the world that is just not acceptable you both have achieved the best of your abilities what more can she ask of you🤷‍♂

bijouxbroussard · F

@smiler2012 You don’t choose your parents and you didn’t choose to be born. You don’t have to accept anyone’s harsh judgment or mistreatment just because of an accident of birth ! 🤨

Bleak · 36-40, F

Nopes

They were extremely proud of me.

Jenny1234 · 51-55, F

Wow your mom is not cool

SStarfish ·

This reminds me of a very long story so i'll spare you the details .. you mom thinks too much of her efforts in you methinks. She overestimated her desired achievements for you.. that's her fault not yours 😅 smh

Firestarter · 26-30, F

All my life my mom had treated me like this and would talk about me like I wasn’t even there, but I’m the only one of her 8 kids that graduated college, and own my own home. I haven’t talked to her in years.

dsrice10 · 56-60, M

Yes, my Mother told me that all of the time, she passed away before I could prove her wrong, but that is not important, I forgave her and we never made amends but I am happy now.

KingofBones1 · 46-50, M

Many times before I went to prison. Since I've been out my parents had really been there for me though. A lot more than some of these other m************ that's for sure

Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F

I can't say that they have said it, but I am certain that some of my choices have been huge disappointments

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

No,they didn't.
Sounds like your doing fine though,for what it's worth coming from me.

eastcoastcycler · 56-60, M

No fortunately but tell her life isn’t a competition and set boundaries if necessary!

Healingtogether · 26-30

After a while it loses it's power once you realize it's just manipulation

This comment is hidden. Show Comment

Heretodaygonetomorrow · 26-30, F

@jshm2 No. Its not that. I speak to her regularly. I always invite her home. Make initiatives to meet and give gifts. She was specifically talking about our career. My business closed recently and I have been unemployed for a month. She speaks in that regard.

This comment is hidden. Show Comment

Heretodaygonetomorrow · 26-30, F

@jshm2 It was a personal message over text. So dad wasnt a part of it. But dad, veing a businessman himself is generally more supportive. Tells me to take my time and figure out the next move.

This comment is hidden. Show Comment

Add a comment...