How did you cope with the death of a close family member?

We found our younger brother (S) dead on the floor of his bedroom on the day our older brother (J) got married. I called the emergency service. Got the Ambos and cops to come. The coppers separated each of us in the house to question us. As the ambos called in the coroner.
J had to go to his wedding. It was shift change for the cops. The ambos couldn't stay. So I helped the coroner bag the body and carry it out to the van.
Then the rest of the day went by in a blur as I spent it consoling the family. Dad and J was particularly wrecked by it. J went with another family member and I stayed with Dad. It transpired that Dad and J had found S asleep on the floor, passed out drunk two days before and took a photo of it thinking it would be funny to show him when he was awake. That was the last time they had seen him alive.
S worked 14 hour shifts on the weekends and Dad and J rarely saw him. The coroners report stated he had passed away 12 hours before he was found. But Dad and J still haven't forgiven themselves.
I haven't forgiven them either to be honest.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

When my wife unexpectedly, suddenly passed. I had no option but to continue on as pretty much as normal. I had two sons who had their own significant health challenges and needed a lot of support. I made sure we adapted our routines as needed and normalised the day to day as quickly as I could. Given it was a sudden death it had to be investigated by the coroner. Hence it took a while before a funeral service could be held. Once that took place it helped to finalise things.
My employer was very supportive. That certainly made it much easier. I some times ponder; maybe it was easier being an unexpected occurrence. I had no time, no thought even about how I would manage. It was just thrown at me so, despite the shock and disbelief. I just dealt with what had to be done. That was 10 years ago. Since then I have lost my younger son. By then I was much better prepared.

All the best to you 🌻💜

My mom passed a few years ago, we wanted her to be in hospice for her final days but it was in the height of COVID AND during one of the worst snowstorms ever so we decided it was best if she stayed at home. They said she'd only last a couple days but she lasted almost a month.

I found I did most of my greiving before she passed..so when it finally happened it was more of a relief than anything but it definitely still hits hard even if you're expecting it. The first day was hard..My dad and sister weren't dealing with it too good so I went more on autopilot making sure everything got done..definitely spent a few days off before going back to work. I can't say when things went back to feeling normal..I don't think they ever do but you get used to the new normal.

It's definitely not a good position to be in, but it's going to be ok 🌷🌹🌼🌷🏵🌸

We weren't sharing blood relations but was my boyfriend, we've lived together and shared life.
How I coped? I danced. I sung, I joined a choir - I even frequented a mourning voice release workshop twice that I found.. I focused on healing issues on my body that I have left behind, I did a ton of work therapy, focused intensively for long periods on renovating my apartment, worked on my diploma at the time, read books... went to parties with friends, smoked some weed. Hiking. Cooking. Allowing daily life to take me back in...... talking to the sea and to the forests and to close friends or people who appeared 🩵

I didn't cope well with my husband passing. I shut myself away from going to any social activities and ate a ton of crap so I gained so much weight. I also started to drink, then one day my son said. "I wish you wouldn't drink so much. It makes me think you're going to be like my birth mum" I stopped drinking so much then and started to try and take better care of myself. I think you just need to take one day at a time and be kind to yourself. Also let other people in. It's a gift for other people when you let them help you. Love to you sweet lady. I'm praying for you through this time. You're not alone. ❤

I was away overseas on holidays when my grandfather passed away very unexpectedly. Nothing predicted such an event. A had a great connection with my grandfather and his sudden death took me completely by surprise. I was an emotional wreck and I begged my family to wait for the funeral till I could organise a trip back home during the peak Summer travel season.

I was in a remote location in Canada with many hours of road travel to reach the nearest airport and try to make it back within 48 hours.

I was very taken and to this day, I am full of remorse for not having been there on that fateful night when on the other hand, he was always there for me when I needed him.

I wasn't nervous, but I cried a lot after my dad passed from cancer. I was able to do my normal day-to-day things. In fact, I started doing even more to get my mind off of it, I guess. Or maybe it was nervous energy.

Take as long a time as you need to mourn. It eventually gets better over time. I still get teary-eyed when I think of him sometimes, but I'm ok now.

I never did. That’s how it is with my paternal grandmother.
She was strict, serious, full of wisdom but she was also soft, kind, strong - giving up the idea to remarry when grandpa died at her late 30s so her full attention will be focused on her 6 kids and lots of grandkids.
She’s basically my coping mechanism and I had lost a part of me when she died.

Give yourself time. Do exactly what you feel to every day if that’s crying fine. If it’s dancing fine. Nobody grieves the same and there is no correct way. Do not judge yourself. It is a time to be very gentle to yourself and mindful of how you are feeling to live authentically. The first year is the hardest. My parents passed almost 20 years ago. It hurt for many years. It still does. You do not get over it though the pain lessens with time. You get on with it. That’s all I know to say. God bless you and yours as you face mourning.

I was quick to accept the loss of my Grandfather.

He wasn't in the best of health in the last 6 years of his life after he suffered a stroke back in the summer of '07.

It was from that moment going forward that I resolved to spend as much time with him as possible and help him out whenever I could, because I just instinctively knew it was only a matter of time.

My last day spent with him was the winter of '13, I was helping him with a few chores at his house and he suffered a heart attack which claimed his life.

In retrospect, he and I, of all the people in my family got along the best.

I imagine a lot depends on the circumstances. I had about a year and a half of my mother’s dementia progressing before she passed away, and the final six months she was in a care facility that I visited faithfully. The last month she was nonverbal.

On the last day, I sat at her bedside with Pop and my middle sister while she slept, my father holding her hand. We each kissed her forehead and told her we loved her.

I remember Pop suddenly saying, ”Oh, I think she’s leaving us…” My sister ran to get a nurse, and the nurse checked Mom, then ushered me and my sister out. Pop made it clear he’d move out of the way, but he wasn’t leaving.

My sister went to call her husband, and I sat in a chair outside Mom’s room. The nurse came out, put a hand on my shoulder, and I knew she was gone.

Its hard. I hope you have a lot of support. I don't and grief took a toll on my health, mentally and physically, despite my best efforts.

My parents were both in terrible discomfort weeks before they died, I was relieved they were finally not suffering anymore. I was extremely close to both of them, so of course I was sad and I still miss them to this day, but the memory of their situations near the end made it a little easier to deal with them finally being out of distress

Great question - our oldest son passed away in July 2003, the only answer I can give is one day at a time, we still have our bad days

My wife was shattered and suffers badly

my other three children missed the older brother a lot, sadly he never got to see his two sisters get married and have children he would have annoyed the shit of of the kids

[@corralmist] 😔it is very diffiicult more so a parent you are heartbroken by the loss naturally but this is the time where you need good family to rally round and be there for each other for comfort and solice

I have had this happen with two loved grandparents and the consolation that I received was because they both knew that I loved them before they passed on.

I was here when mom died, and I was extremely upset that night, but afterwards I mellowed out, and am doing fine. You'll be fine too.

My nephew died as an infant when I was in the sixth grade it was heart breaking seeing my sister have to go through that.

I think that everybody copes differently. I grieved more for my maternal grandma than for my father.
He wasn't a loving father, to say the least.

i was very close with my maternal grandmother. i was 27 when she died. it really shook me.
i still think about her all the time. time eased the pain, but, her memory remains.

Every experience is different. At least that's what I find. You may even feel a sense of relief. Seriously.

When I deal with incredible stress I just like... get tired and headachey rather than distraught. I want to sleep and withdraw.

Be with loved ones. Try to resume your normal routine.

It will get better with time.

Be gentle on yourself. Give yourself time to grieve!

Not well
Went into a deep depression

"How to Survive the Loss of a Love"

Grit my teeth and wait for the sun to shine again.