I am so sorry to read this ….

I lost my wife around 18 months ago. When I’m asked if I will get with someone I usually say “ I don’t ever want to feel this away or make someone else feel it” I have starting chatting with a couple people I was very clear from the start yet they wanted more than I give so I was the bad guy!! I don’t think the temporary boost of having a connection makes you feel worse I am so sorry you’re going through. This

Oh, my, my heart is with you!!! I experienced the same--wife passed two and a half years ago. Give it some time. grieve. Feel into it. Cry when you need to. Talk to people. In time you will feel like moving forward--but still loving the many you loved. I started dating and have found someone special...it can happen..and yes on the intimacy as well... sending you much love!!

I am sorry, I lost my husband a month ago.
It is so very hard; try not to let anyone push you into anything you are not ready for yet.

I get hanging onto the ashes. Its hard to let go of that last bit of him. But his ashes are your handcuffs. When you look at them...........he is there and that puts a lock you thinking its OK to date and move on. In every sense when you look at that urn.... he is still THERE in your life.......looking at you everyday. Scattering ur ashes with his after you have passed on gives you no closure...........now. And by the time it's done.........you won't know it was done/....or how.. Scatter them now...........that is your goodbye memorial to him. Then YOU can be positive his ashes are in a place that honors him........not just dumped by someone after you are gone to get rid of them.

If he loved you..........he would not want you to be lonely, unhappy. It is hard someone lose a lover......it is harder still to live alone in a guilt trip for the rest of your life.

Maybe just going out being active and meeting friends would be enough for now.
My dad went through a similar thing when my mom passed away. He wanted someone to go out and do things with but in his mind, no one could replace my mom.

Do you really want to be dating??? Maybe you're craving companionship more than a relationship???

I don't know, I'm just finding out for myself that sometimes, after the loss of a relationship, something inside you shifts or changes enough where a new relationship doesn't feel right. I just haven't managed to find any answers to dig myself out of this funk just yet.

My way of dealing at the moment is to bury myself in other things so I'm not looking for him anymore.

I went and found a few male friends and friends only not interested in them in any other way. Maybe try just to socialize with men or women whatever your preference is I get along better with men.

So sorry for your loss. I can only imagine what you went/are going through.
My personal opinion, you will know when you are ready. No need to think you have to start looking.

Please give yourself time, time to process…
No one will ever take his place in your heart, but this doesn’t mean that you won’t one day allow yourself to open up to someone else, when the time is right you will know it in your heart.

You're not done grieving yet. Don't rush it. Just feel what you feel.

And you can have intimacy without necessarily dating, as long as you're upfront that you're looking for friendship and companionship and sex but you're not up for more than that, so they shouldn't expect it.

I can totally imagine that. I am set in my ways and I don't think I would want someone else taking her place.

Maybe you just need a friend, or a roommate - someone to share the less intimate things with. Lonely is not fun.

I am sorry to hear that. If I might ask, how long were you together?

My condolences :(

Grief is a very individual experience. The only person who sets the timetable and decides what does/doesn’t happen is you.

It's going to take time. There's no way around it. Sorry for your loss

Very difficult indeed, I can't imagine my husband dying and me being left alone with our children, he always told me he rather die first since he doesn't want to be alive without me and I told him no I rather die first since I can't cook for shit and will probably starve to death or get food poisoning if he passes on.

sorry for your loss

Aaaaawwww that’s sooooo sweet , How long were you married for?

Your welcome

Understood. Bless you. 🙏

Take your time

No one can make your decisions for you. Do things when you're ready