Pressure to share

So Joel and I have been going to a support group for eating disorder. It's only our 3 meeting with the group but he's already shared twice.

We get a email about it each week talking about who's turn it is to bring snacks and drinks stuff like that but in the end it says and let's hope one of our newest members will share his story with us.

I read that and got instant anxiety. Wow way to call me out in the email. I know everyone will know they are talking about me.

Now I feel like I have to share and I just don't think I'm ready to do that. And now I'm going to be freaking out about it all day until we go!!

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Friendlyperson · 26-30, F

Your authenticity in your posts always amazes me. You sound like a genuine person. I am sure if share how uncomfortable you still are they will understand... but also it doesn't hurt to push yourself a little. Trust your rythm, you are there to feel free and not pressured.

Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M

@Friendlyperson thank you so much! I just know I'm not ready and if I try I'm going to fight hard to control my tics and that makes for a bad evening.

Friendlyperson · 26-30, F

@Cigarguy101 Well then don't share. And say loudly that you are not ready to say anything and you will when you are ready.

You will be accepted. So don't force yourself to do anything you can't. You should be proud of yourself for taking these much steps to heal.

Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M

So Joel just called me, he is not happy. I took a urber to work, he drove so he's going to go home shower and get me and we'll head to the meeting and head home to watch the game with the kids.

He told me we didn't have to go if I didn't want to and he was going to call the person who sent out the email and talk to them.

These meetings help him alot he's been struggling a bit especially since he hurt is ribs. He's having a lot of pain in his stomach. The doctor said it was normal. Anyway he's the one that wanted to go back.

I told him I'd be ok going but I'm not ready to share. He asked if I was sure (about going not the not sharing part) I said yes and it would be fine. I have honestly enjoyed going. It helps even if I'm not sharing.

He said that was a good idea and that he just wants me to be ok tonight. I told him I would bring my air pods and I might take half a anxiety pill.

He said ok and he'd pick me up in a few hours

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Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M

@Dallas7 I am so in my head right now but whatever I do I have to leave there in a good frame of mind because our kids are soooo looking forward to the baseball game tonight to see Jac's debut. I am too and they are already bummed because it's been raining all day and we probably won't be able to watch the game outside with a fire.

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Coralmist · 41-45, F

Maybe you could say I'm willing to share but just for a quick two minutes intro.. I am still in a shell and I want to share with you but I feel an inner anxiety to fully share.( That's only an idea. )

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Coralmist · 41-45, F

@Cigarguy101 No problem. 🐞I think it was odd singling out a new member. But if you don't want to do a two minutes quick intro, you could say * I hope to share soon..I appreciate listening at the moment but I'll definitely let you know if or when I can share soon.*

Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M

@Coralmist some times I think they try a little to hard to make us feel welcome. We are the only gay guys there at this time. And they made a big deal of letting us know they were ok with us and our life style. Like over the top trying to hard ok lol. And even though they didn't use my name it's clear they were talking about me in the email.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@Cigarguy101 Oh wow lol. Well hope it goes smoothly and that it's a nice or informative session for you. That's what Really counts, not when or if you share. And in the right time you'll feel it I'm sure🪻🙂

MyMonstersAreReal · F

You share when you are ready. If you’re ready. If you are not ready it’s not gonna benefit you. You can always open up to us here and see how it goes.

Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M

@MyMonstersAreReal I know I'm not ready

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Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M

@4meAndyou oh wow thank you, you are so kind to me and it means alot that you care!

4meAndyou · F

@Cigarguy101 You are a wonderful and caring person, and you've had a tough row to hoe...just as I have. Yet you still manage to work, take care of your children, and you convey a massive amount of feeling for everyone who surrounds you. I respect that. A LOT!

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