Tell me a lighthearted, shitty ex story

one time this guy used me and cheated on me so i dated his best friend 😊

Years ago. Many years ago lol back when video cameras was the thing..it had just got done raining and my ex was getting ready to go on a 3 month out to sea ( coast guard) and was video taping me outside just random stuff just to take with him. Well i was talking to him and I slipped and went sliding down this steeep muddy hill. He kept recording as i was strugging trying to climb back up. My sweater hanging past my knees because it was all wet and muddy. Finally made it back up..I was a total mess. Asked him to erase it. Or make sure no one ever saw it.
3 months later I go to dock to welcome him back..guys are coming off the ship..looking at me laughing. Finally one makes a reference to me sliding down the hill 🙄 assface showed it to them all on rec night

My ex figured I should help him pay his child support while I was already raising 2 of my own kids on my own. Should have dumped him then but I didn’t…cuz I’m stupid. 🤪

One night I was getting somewhat fresh with my ex when it ended in total disaster. I grabbed his knob, thinking I'd wank him off a little but apparently, I was too rough and doing it wrong! Genuinely, I was put off touching a guy there for years but.... ladies talk. We talk sooo much! I found out through his later partner that he needed an operation because he wasn't cleaning right and his foreskin got stuck. All I want to say about that is, I'm just glad that never went anywhere near my lips! 😖😖

🤔
Many aeons ago she insisted we went on vacation to another city. Once there she would always be sick and stay at the hotel, and on the last day of the trip she was angry and crying and just being insufferable. Turns out, as I found a few months after we broke up, she had hooked on the internets with some guy who had a plan to steal from his rich stepfather and run away with her...the guy got caught and put behind bars on the day they were planning to run away...🐙

One of my exes consistently told me I am ugly, in various ways. Never outright but I got the point.

An ex told me she was going to a work convention with her team.

I bumped into her team mid week at the local mall and they asked if “we” were home early from our vacation….

Heh turns out she was away with another person from work to New York City.

14 years later and she’s still randomly sending me Dm’s and emails 🤔 guess it wasn’t as good of a vacation as she though it was gonna be? 🤷‍♂️

My stomach was making noises while digesting and he accused me of farting. It happened again and he hung up on me.

Hahahah

After listening to him proclaim his love to me he finally took me to meet his mother. The big elephant in the room was that I was menstruating so I couldn't partake in their religious practices. So that was weird.
We were playing Uno and he got upset because I was making him pick up cards. He got so heated he pulled out the instructions😂 Then he said there was going to be no wedding. He then went on a rant that eating crabs is a sin. He was angry looking back on it now.

Not sure I can tell the full story, but my girlfriends brother walked in on us one night (in her parents house, early hours).
How he managed to keep a straight face I will never know, as we had struggled to make ourselves decent and when he walked in we were calmly watching TV, with both of us half dressed (me with no trousers) and underwear scattered over the floor.
He just smiled and said "goodnight", but never let us forget about it.

Ooh, my ex sent me this song when I was in the hospital and it was the last time I ever heard from her.

[media=https://youtu.be/7k91k6ClZec]

Not exactly a comforting thing to hear when you're going through serious health issues and have no idea what's going on with them. XD

My ex was literally two days away from moving in with me and she ghosted me for a week and started dating one of my friends before admitting it all to me lol. Ahh people are fantastic

That's not really all that lighthearted, honestly.

Ha ha all my exes are psychos so the stories aren't very light hearted

The one shitty ex story everyone seems to love is when I had to chase her back into the car with a garden hose.