Tell me a lighthearted, shitty ex story

My ex gave me an extra pair of sunglasses he had in his car, and then took them back when he started cheating on me with his ex (to give them back to her)

He also would take the lovely frozen soughdough pizzas and nice bakery treats I'd buy him home, and I am pretty sure he was sharing them with her LOL 🤣🤣🤣