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Tell me a lighthearted, shitty ex story

My ex gave me an extra pair of sunglasses he had in his car, and then took them back when he started cheating on me with his ex (to give them back to her)

He also would take the lovely frozen soughdough pizzas and nice bakery treats I'd buy him home, and I am pretty sure he was sharing them with her LOL 🤣🤣🤣
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Not sure I can tell the full story, but my girlfriends brother walked in on us one night (in her parents house, early hours).
How he managed to keep a straight face I will never know, as we had struggled to make ourselves decent and when he walked in we were calmly watching TV, with both of us half dressed (me with no trousers) and underwear scattered over the floor.
He just smiled and said "goodnight", but never let us forget about it.