Upset
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So I actually had a date today

it went great apart from the fact that the guy just kept kissing and trying to touch me, despite me saying I didn't want him to numerous times. In the end I just left.

Why have some guys gotta ruin it like that??
Classified · M
Not accepting no is a big red flag 👀
Classified · M
@KuroNeko If he doesn't get it then, then it's a lost case imo. 😑
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@Classified he thinks he is a good listener 😂
Classified · M
@KuroNeko One ear in other ear out 😅
Lilymoon · F
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Because many guys regard a date as step two in a process, sex being the goal.
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@Mamapolo2016 Just owning a vagina is enough!
@KuroNeko Or knowing someone who does.
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@Mamapolo2016 or once hearing about someone who knows someone with one 😂😂
Oster1 · M
There is no question, that was assault. 😔
Oster1 · M
@KuroNeko People searching for reasons to excuse the perpetrator and to cruelly turn the table on the victim is most definitely a strange phenomena that has taken place, since the beginning. You are so right.😔
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@Oster1 It puts me off saying anything, it really does.
Oster1 · M
@KuroNeko Unfortunately, you are not alone. This vicious cycle serves to manifest even more abuse and emboldens the perpetrators, even more.

It’s very heroic of you to speak up today. The uncrossable line, has to be drawn. It must be fierce with absolutely no ambiguity. Abuse has to be snuffed out and eradicated with no misunderstanding whatsoever. This is just undeniably wrong and unacceptable! It has to stop!
marsbar · F
I’ve had those kind of dates where I’ve had to put the kabosh on them.
Viper · M
@AbbySvenz Hey! 😡 You aren't supposed to know that for another 20 years! Stay Pure 😇
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@marsbar need trust first!
marsbar · F
@KuroNeko Yes, that too.
SW-User
Don’t go back to him please I’m warning you I don’t want you to go through what I have
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@SW-User I have enough twats in my own past to convince me never to see this guy again, don't you worry.
SW-User
One time I had a date and the second I shut the car door this dude was telling me that he had been crazy about me for years and could he kiss me. I told him no and it completely turned me off. I never went out with him again.
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@SW-User yeah that's creepy. I don't blame you.
SW-User
Viper · M
He was struggling to put others first... :( ... he put his own desires over another person :( for us men, that can be hard for us :(
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@Viper he was convinced I wanted it. Despite me saying with actual words that I didn't. If that's a struggle, guys like that need locking up.
Viper · M
@KuroNeko One problem I've noticed is that more and more people seem to have trouble getting their mind hell out of their own heads... and projecting their thoughts on others.

I've read it's largely due to the fact we humans are talking and interacting in person a hell lot less and more though electronics.


This is basically killing our in person skills, to read other people correctly, and interact with them correctly... or instead of correctly let's say maximum potential.


Instead we're filling in the gaps with our own heads and projecting it on others. And early on, it seems like a fairytale which is why so many relationship work well at first, but as you go, it breaks down quickly as reality breaks the false wall gaps that our brains filled incorrectly.


And that's just assuming that's he's a nice guy and actually read the signals wrong.

He could of also just been an A-hole whom didn't give a crap about any signals, he was going to do what the hell he wanted... which is a totally different story.
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@Viper I don't think he could read the signs but he could definitely hear the words.
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
A first date even? That's a lot of assumptions on his part...geez.😳
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@ravenwind43 The stupid thing is, he is already messaging and asking about seeing me again.
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@KuroNeko Shakes head. This kind of thing makes me hesitate trying the dating scene again. Ugh.
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@ravenwind43 This was my first attempt in a long time. I feel like I'd need to take someone else with me next time.
SoLeRiMix · 31-35, M
I am sorry that you had this awful experience.

A man must not compel a lady for anything if she is not interested.

A man is not a Gentleman if he's assertive like this.

Good that you walked away.🙂👍May be that's a lesson for him.
SoLeRiMix · 31-35, M
@KuroNeko Please don't worry at all. Not every man is a preyer.

Please call for help when it's needed the most or take self-defence lessons. Pepper spray and tazer would be equally helpful.🙂

I hope a Gentleman is able to change your perspective next time. Good Luck!👍
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@SoLeRiMix Not worrying at all is just not possible when SOME of them are like this.
SoLeRiMix · 31-35, M
@KuroNeko I understand Missy!

May you find someone better soon!🙏😇
Riverman2 · 56-60, M
I can see trying once for a kiss. If you said no and he persisted its time for the date to be over. Bypass the freind zone and toss him to the waste basket. There are still guys left to date who will respect your boundaries.
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@Riverman2 They are surprisingly few and far between
Riverman2 · 56-60, M
@KuroNeko just remind yourself that you are worth one of those few
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@Riverman2 I know what I'm worth. 🙂
Dusty101 · F
Glad you left.. What a prick!
Omg I would never be so bold on the first date.
Or the second
Or the third
Maybe the fourth
Definitely the fifth
@KuroNeko I've been called "incorrigible" before 😏...
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@Ghostinthemachine for all the right reasons I hope lol
@KuroNeko not sure what the right reasons are, but she knew I liked being called that so she continued 😁
SwampFlower · 31-35, F
Ewwww I hate the ones who act like that. They would not get a second date. My husband and I hung out half a dozen times before the topic of intimacy ever came up 😅
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@SwampFlower as it should be.
Wait for the man that wants to take you for a meal, walk around with you at a flea market or mall. He will be
patient and make friends first.
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@mondayschild2 they all say that shit lol.
Hope you're ok. I feel I want to apologise on behalf of men, some of us are real jerks. 😔
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@Mindfulness Thank you, I appreciate your words.
@KuroNeko Are you ok though? Other than pissed off, and rightly so?
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@Mindfulness I admit it's affected me more than I expected. I didn't go into the details in my post.
Ferric67 · M
I get it, I don't like being touched unless I'm in a good emotional and hospitable place
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@Ferric67 yes, that stuff should definitely come after the connection on an emotional level.
smiler2012 · 56-60
{@kuroneko] you did the right thing . he tried to come it soon . that sort of thing needs to worked on with time
Adstar · 56-60, M
Why are you going on dates when you know your damaged and carrying a lot of baggage?

Why not fix yourself first and leave the guys by themselves?
basilfawlty89 · 31-35, M
@Adstar oh so you're the douchenozzle.
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
@Adstar WTF is this? You support men pushing themselves on women. Why is this her problem?
Dusty101 · F
@Adstar you're trying to start shit... Not a good move! 🤬
zerofuks2give · 41-45, M
Have you tried being less attractive? 😂
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@zerofuks2give I will try that next time.
zerofuks2give · 41-45, M
@KuroNeko good luck
DunningKruger · 61-69, M
"It went great except for all the things that made me hate it."
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@DunningKruger we had so much in common, loads to talk about. He just ruined it.
Eddiesolds · 61-69, M
Ya that isnt good.what a turn off
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@Eddiesolds Ruined any future possibility of anything happening 🤷‍♀️
Eddiesolds · 61-69, M
@KuroNeko yes I'm sure. Dummy
Eklipse · F
I suppose I gotta beat him up then
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@Eklipse I appreciate the sentiment
chrisCA · M
This was a first date?
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@chrisCA Yep
chrisCA · M
@KuroNeko Crazy
Bklynbadboy12 · 31-35, M
That's sad that he didn't respect your wishes
Thevy29 · 41-45, M
Well, when your on day release from prison...
thepreposterouspanda · 31-35, M
That's so obnoxious. 😑
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
Lacemaker · 41-45, F
If he won't take a no to that, well.... ❌
They are just looking for quick and easy s*x.😞
Justenjoyit · 56-60, M
Life is so sad really, men and women just dont mix when it comes to sex, I wonder who messed up with all of that, or maybe someone up there thought it might be fun 😂 Maybe just chat a lot more before you meet up.
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@Justenjoyit you don't want to chat too long and get your Hope's dashed upon finally meeting 🤷‍♀️
travelguy01 · 41-45, M
Big red flag, glad you’re safe
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@travelguy01 Thank you.
SW-User
I'm really sorry this has happened... It makes me sad.

It's disappointing that, that person hasn't learned its not OK to just touch people whenever they want to, it's disgusting behaviour... why I wonder has he no sense to realise that.

He probably wants a relationship and a sex life but won't ever get past first date with that carry on.

He will be lucky if he doesn't get a slap or reported to the police for man handling women!
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@SW-User He told me he himself had been raped as a teenager and so he really cared about consent. All the while he behaved in the opposite way. Very confusing.
SW-User
@KuroNeko omgosh that's really strange. He has problems for sure, self awareness is obviously an issue for one thing. 😒
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
He’s not getting a second date
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@iamonfire696 he actually text to say we shouldn't continue lol
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
@KuroNeko really? He probably knew that it blew it and wanted to save face for himself.
Viper · M
@iamonfire696 @KuroNeko I'm thinking he knew what he was doing, I think based on that, he trying to hook up only, not actually date.
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
@MethDozer yeah terribly rapey vibes.

 
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