How do you get a man to help pay your rent I’ve brought it up but he doesn’t seem to comprehend

I’m going to try that how can I find a template what budget sheet would that be or just make one of my own @Mamapolo2016

@MrsCurious There are budget templates on line but you don’t need one. Pen and paper will do fine.

List the name of each bill in the first column, and the amount of the bill in the second. Total the amount at the bottom.

Total those. Then divide the total budget expenses in half.

You can add two more columns - showing what you pay and what he pays. Total those to drive home your point.

If you both use the car or he drives you where you want to go, you have to somehow factor that in to be fair.

Understand, if the gravy train comes to a halt, he may say, “This is my stop. I’m getting off here.”

That is the sum total of my financial expertise. 😊

@RandomForest I didn't really take much notice to that until now. Maybe it's just a difference in living costs between countries that makes it seem much better than it is, but at a glance $300 seems amazing. Had to check a currency converter, and right now my rent is like $992... and that's for an apartment on the lower-medium end here that still is within acceptable walking distance of town. And that's just the rent.

@PirateMonkeyCabinet You could not sleep on a bench for that amount in my neighborhood.

@PirateMonkeyCabinet But it could be another country.

Seems obvious if he thinks he can stay there and mooch. 😉@Virgo79

@Keepitsimple there's a couple women here that way, they both work and he doesn't.
One even pays a sitter for the kids while he lays around the house WTF!
Not saying curiosity's is the same, I don't know

Yeah he lives here and eats he doesn’t contribute to buying food unless we are down on wits end and act cheap when doing so @Picklebobble2

@MrsCurious you need to discuss this. He MUST know he needs to contribute more !
If he was living at home you can bet his mother would be after his board money !!

See I have put him out a thousand times to get him to act right because it’s not comfortable anywhere else staying with his mom he hates it staying at his aunts house the couch is raggedy @Groofydorkgerdo

But he doesn’t understand my trying to make you uncomfortable to realize what you got tactic doesn’t seem to work. @Groofydorkgerdo

@MrsCurious He's is taking advantage of you, and taking you for granted, tell him ro get a job ans help pay bills or get out.

What do you mean ? To pray because that’s the only thing I will do as far as getting on my knees @Bubbles

@MrsCurious yes, to pray

Pray and ask for what Guidance? @Bubbles

@MrsCurious In that case, he's being a leech. He's bleeding you dry without contributing. He being there adds expenses. Without him there would be less food, less cleaning of clothes, less power usage, etc. If he is not willing to see that, and not willing to contribute to the household then he is straight up using you.

If it had been a temporary thing, or if he had a very, very low income, then perhaps it could have been excused that expenses aren't exactly 50/50. If he has enough income to pay his part and refuses or "just don't feel like getting a job" or something along those lines... yeah, the aforementioned boot seems about right.

I did like what @Mamapolo2016 wrote. A good way of putting it to him, and if he has problems seeing that then he is not a mature man. He is otherwise just siphoning your finances and slowly running them into the ground.

Yeah he lives with me and he acts like he’s going to get a job but he hasn’t yet so I doubt he’ll get one we been dating for two years and I worked a job more than he has he hadn’t even been to a job interview since we have dated @PirateMonkeyCabinet

@MrsCurious I'm sure there's a lot of details about how things are that we here don't know about, but the way it sounds like based on what you've said it sounds majorly scummy. I know getting a job can be hard if there's a saturated market (it's hell getting a job where I live), but if he isn't actually out there genuinely trying to get something then he's clearly more interested in you to provide for him... and that just ain't right.

I'd say give him a fair chance, try some of the suggestion that was made. If he doesn't show any signs of understanding or genuine willingness (through not just words, but also actions) to improve on it then he ain't worth it.

@MrsCurious Yeah, that's no good. :( I know it's hard, and it's hugely stressful and unfair that you have to do all of this shit because he's irresponsible... but yeah. It'll be good for you! And I'm sure it'll improve your life a lot.

Do you have family and/or friends to help you through this time? 🤗

No they do t give me any advice they just listen @caccoon

@MrsCurious That's okay! At least they are there if you need them, though?

Do you have any reason to believe he'd be violent or would harass you if you kicked him out?