How do you get a man to help pay your rent I’ve brought it up but he doesn’t seem to comprehend

I think by him knowing my finances he doesn’t think I need help but I’m not able to save money or do anything extra outside of my bills he pays the phone bill and internet which is $120 each month for both. I receive 1200 each month my rent is $300 I have a washer and dryer bill of 125 each month I have other things I need to pay that takes the rest of my money and here he gets to buy car parts and maybe buy little household needs that I need each month but I don’t feel it’s enough. He does side jobs and don’t work but he has hundreds of dollars every now and then all he does with his money is take it and fix his car to sell it. But I just don’t want to be wrong thinking or overthinking it What should I do ?

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PirateMonkeyCabinet · 36-40, M

If he lives with you, then he should take part in paying the expenses. He lives there and benefits from the facilities and it is fair and reasonable that he pulls his part of the weight.

If he does NOT live with you, as blunt as this may sound, then you're acting entitled. Why should he feel an obligation to pay for your expenses?

PirateMonkeyCabinet · 36-40, M

@PirateMonkeyCabinet Oh, and if he does live with you, and still refuses, then he is being an ass and deserves a boot out the door.

MrsCurious · 26-30, F

Yes he lives me each day of every month @PirateMonkeyCabinet

PirateMonkeyCabinet · 36-40, M

@MrsCurious In that case, he's being a leech. He's bleeding you dry without contributing. He being there adds expenses. Without him there would be less food, less cleaning of clothes, less power usage, etc. If he is not willing to see that, and not willing to contribute to the household then he is straight up using you.

If it had been a temporary thing, or if he had a very, very low income, then perhaps it could have been excused that expenses aren't exactly 50/50. If he has enough income to pay his part and refuses or "just don't feel like getting a job" or something along those lines... yeah, the aforementioned boot seems about right.

I did like what @Mamapolo2016 wrote. A good way of putting it to him, and if he has problems seeing that then he is not a mature man. He is otherwise just siphoning your finances and slowly running them into the ground.

MrsCurious · 26-30, F

Yeah he lives with me and he acts like he’s going to get a job but he hasn’t yet so I doubt he’ll get one we been dating for two years and I worked a job more than he has he hadn’t even been to a job interview since we have dated @PirateMonkeyCabinet

PirateMonkeyCabinet · 36-40, M

@MrsCurious I'm sure there's a lot of details about how things are that we here don't know about, but the way it sounds like based on what you've said it sounds majorly scummy. I know getting a job can be hard if there's a saturated market (it's hell getting a job where I live), but if he isn't actually out there genuinely trying to get something then he's clearly more interested in you to provide for him... and that just ain't right.

I'd say give him a fair chance, try some of the suggestion that was made. If he doesn't show any signs of understanding or genuine willingness (through not just words, but also actions) to improve on it then he ain't worth it.