I Am a Monster

@SW-User Caring and being aware of it being wrong are two different things. If I cared, I wouldn't have let it get this far.

@bunnyXbunny Okay knowing it's wrong is enough to stop. Again it's a choice you can make.

@SW-User Only time will tell.

@Justbychance I agree with you with everything as much except me doing this for attention. It's more validation.

@bunnyXbunny Validation through understanding/accepting things that you do. I think you might pick a different word for 'attention' but in whatever word you use there has to be the element of moments, written words, interpretations of words you would use in order to get the attention needed for you to go through these things as you do. Anyway ...

I can't say I would validate what it is that you do, whilst at the same time it doesn't mean that I either agree or disagree at the same time. The same rule would apply to you. Self validation doesn't set you free from yourself, when you are calling yourself a 'Selfish monster' so I can't say I know where you are coming from, or, why you think this post is 'more validation'. In real terms it's not too unlike the addict who can neither stay away from the addiction nor want to stay with it. He's stuck between a rock and a hard; that is where I see you

@wakanda4eva People trust me. I don't trust people. Everyone looks much better at an arm's length away.

@bunnyXbunny idk lol ur fuked, seems like u don't see anything wrong with lying and emotionally manipulating people.

@wakanda4eva Truer words have never been written lol.

@SW-User In reality everyone uses everyone to some extent. Not justifying my actions, just pointing out a fact.

@TeresaRudolph71 Maybe he doesn't choose. I can't speak for him but for me, when I meet a person, mentally a coin is flipped. Heads, I make the effort to keep you in my life. Tails, I stop talking to you after a bit and make no effort to build or maintain a relationship. For any person who's been in my life a long time, that coin gets flipped again periodically. I've had friends who I have know for 10+ years who, one day, I just stopped talking to because I didn't want to any more.

Maybe he gets off on knowing he can do it. Woo women to prove to himself he is awesome. Add some form of value to his self esteem and then drop them once he's bleed them enough to fuel his narcissism. I'd say I do the same but I'm not narcissistic. I hate myself wildly.

@bunnyXbunny Thanks for the insight. I suppose if it really is as random as a coin flipping, it's not really a reflection on me, or any of the other women he has interacted with.

This guy is definitely a narcissist. I'm glad to hear that you aren't.

@TeresaRudolph71 Take it from a person who burns more bridges than a pot head does blunts. 9 times out of 10, people who do what that guy and I do are at the root of the problem. No matter the reason.

@coary987 Cause then I go back into nothingness.

@LyricalOne Engraved on my epitaph.

@NiftyWhite I'm accustomed to grief.

@bunnyXbunny thén i guess you will have to become accustomed to coping with it too.

@NiftyWhite That's what alcohol is for.

@SW-User I could but it's easier to just disappear.

@bunnyXbunny and deserve explanation too..just saying 👍🏻

@SW-User It a hard thing to explain when I don't fully understand it myself.

@Miram I'm not. I know it's wrong and I shouldn't do it. But it always happens. They get hurt, I feel horrible afterward, I become depressed, I seek out new validation. The bloody cycle.

@bunnyXbunny there are so many other things you can fuck with. I wonder if this qualifies as an addiction at this point. To be able to see your failures happen before your eyes but never escape them , a past that never leaves you is a curse.

You are taking the heat pretty well.

@Miram No one here will ever be as harsh as I am on myself. Least they can't hurt me.

@Keepitsimple I will, just not in the most tactful way.

@bunnyXbunny That’s terrible.

@Keepitsimple Agreed.

@OpenlyHonestly Yes.

@bunnyXbunny Then that's really mean. Just hope he or she won't turn out to be a psycho and take revenge on you in the nastiest way. Or not, maybe bring me popcorn instead. It could be fun to watch two psychos having a fight. 🍿 xD

@OpenlyHonestly It'll be like a bum fight but more callous and high pitch wailing.

@KingLionHeart No, 31. My age is not the thing I lie about. Being a nice person is.

@bunnyXbunny your mental age

.. whole post is probably a lie..

Either way.. loser.. creep.. adolescent mentality..

Go throw yourself off a very high building..

@KingLionHeart Tell them to open the rooftop access to my building and I will gladly do so.

@ImDone Probably. They seem to placate them nicely.

@bunnyXbunny just don't lie to them... lies are a waste of time...

@SStarfish To a degree.

@bunnyXbunny birds of a feather i guess.. :/

@bunnyXbunny exactly you're a no one just like the rest of us and yet some of us still decide to be decent people because that's better than becoming lowlife scum.

@Primnproper It's all very relative.

@bunnyXbunny and you're just another flash in the pan..you will log off and be gone and forgotten or you could decide to be an honest participant here and just maybe make some good friends that would support you when you needed it.

@Noblety Indeed

@sighmeupforthat That thought has crossed my mind. Let none in and there will be no harm.