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Comment and I'll write your epilogue or maybe a micro story.

I'll get to them in the order they were conmented. It might take a while though.
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Straylight · 31-35, F Pinned Comment
You guys know what an epilogue is, right? Cause I think some of you are expecting an obituary.
Straylight · 31-35, F
@kayoshin I'll get back to it soon.
LondonCowboy · 51-55, M
Bestest Answer Ever 😎😘@Straylight
Peaches · F
@Straylight LOL!😱😁

Straylight · 31-35, F
I'm so close to getting everyone and I'm running on fumes.
Gentlemickey · 70-79, M
@Straylight Relax I'm extremely patient !!
SW-User
@Straylight 😃. I'm so proud!
ginnyfromtheblock · 26-30, F
...................................................stray
ginnyfromtheblock · 26-30, F
@CountScrofula @Straylight you both have to do everything for me always
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@ginnyfromtheblock Will an original theme song dedicated to your username help the big sads y'all are feeling?
Straylight · 31-35, F
@ginnyfromtheblock I have four pages to work through, but maybe I'll skip you ahead of the line.
Wait where’s MINE ?!😡
@Straylight so you write stories ?
Straylight · 31-35, F
@Stark When the mood strikes me. 🤷‍♀️
I like these micro stories because they let me try an idea and see if I want to take it further.
1000PaperCranes · 31-35, F
@Straylight That was a cute one.
Straylight · 31-35, F
Oh man, I really need to get back to work on these.
SweetMae · 70-79, F
How did I miss this??
Straylight · 31-35, F
Im still doing these in the order you commented. Please be patient, I will get to each of you.
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@Straylight I hope you get further than I did on the profile pictures!
Straylight · 31-35, F
@CountScrofula I'm trying.
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@Straylight Well don't sweat on my behalf. This shit is exhausting once you've done like ten of them!
1000PaperCranes · 31-35, F
My favorites so far are @basilfawlty89, @Gentlemickey and @Dewms. But they're all good.
@Straylight I feel like this will be one of the more popular responses.
Straylight · 31-35, F
@SoTheyTellMe I think everyone has pretty much forgotten this thread.
Peaches · F
@Straylight I just found it!🐥
Harmonium1923 · 51-55, M
You are quite a writer. I enjoyed your posts below.
Straylight · 31-35, F
@Straylight This was the third house you'd been called out to on this street, you think to yourself as you knock on the door. A haggard looking woman answers, looking like she hasn't slept in days.

"You must be the exterminator, please come in!" She closes the door behind you. "Its been awful, these things keep us up all night crawling around the house and picking through our trash. Please do something!"

You smile reassuringly "These infestations can be troubling, but I assure you they're not as dangerous as they look. Now, where do you hear them the most during the day?"

"The basement mostly." She responds.
You head down into the dark and find a good open spot on the floor. Setting your trap, you place some ham down and hide. You only have to wait a minute before one of the little vermin takes the bait. With a snap, the snare trap yanks him into the air.

"I'll cut you slow!" The angry little creature screams, kicking and yelling obscenities.

"Is that one of them?" The lady of the house asks from the stairs.

"Blooood magic! Mwahahaha!" It shouts to her. You take its arm and spin it around on the rope until it's too dizzy to talk.

"Yes, this is your standard east European red cap, a cousin that links gnomes and goblins."

"Nasty little thing. Don't they dye their hats in blood?"

"No," you reasure her. "That's an old wives tale. Blood would dry brown anyway. No, these little creetens are all talk. They're not social creatures rather, so I doubt theres any more, but I'll spray and put out some traps."

Shes relieved to be done with it. You put the little monster in a cage in the back of the van. Most would kill them, but you will send this one to a fey reserve.
A call comes in. No rest for the wicked, theres a pixy nest at the high school and the kids are starting to lick them to get high.
Straylight · 31-35, F
@Harmonium1923 Sory this took so long.
Harmonium1923 · 51-55, M
@Straylight Wow, there’s a lot going on there! Awesome, and perfect for Halloween! Thanks!
UndeadPrivateer · 31-35, M
I missed this? 🙀🙀🙀
UndeadPrivateer · 31-35, M
@Straylight I await with bated breath.
Straylight · 31-35, F
@UndeadPrivateer You are gradually lulled from your sleep by a soft but nagging sound. You blink away the early morning sun creeping in from the bedroom window. That sound, it's your name.
You try to dismiss the notion, try to force yourself to hear something else, but it's useless. You definitely hear your name, chanted over and over in teeny tiny voices. You put on your robe and follow the sound. It's coming from the back yard.
Driven now by curiosity and the desire to shut this sound up and go back to bed, you find the trail ends at an ant hill. The tiny mound hosts an odd site. A small collection of pebbles are arranged in front, each etched with a miniscule rune, and the sourse of the chanting, several ants arranged in a circle and calling your name.
"Ok," you say to yourself. "Let's see where this goes."
As you approached the hill the ants appear to bow and begin chattering towards you. They arrange themselves into the shape of three fence posts, then into the shape of an ant, upside down, presumably dead. You look over to the fence and count; one, two, three, and there is another ant hill. You ponder this a moment when it hits you.
"Did... did you summon me? To destroy that other ant hill? Am I going crazy?"
A team of ants roll an old peppermint candy to your feet. An offering, it seems.
"What am I, Cthulhu?" You ask the summoner ants. The rally together again to create the moving image of an angry ant attacking another, sad looking ant. So what, the other hill has been attacking them? You shrug and walk over to the fence hill, giving the mound a swift kick, sending dirt and ants flying. You begin to shuffle back to the house when you stop, turn around, and kick the first hill too.
"Dont mess with forces beyond your understanding." You grumble as you go back to sleep. The ants watch you, titanic and ancient, and learn a valuable lesson in calling upon such terrible power. The legend of the hill crusher would haunt them for generations.
UndeadPrivateer · 31-35, M
@Straylight Hahaha, I love this.
Glossy · F
I want mine to include a cat, a spaceship and a towel.
Straylight · 31-35, F
@Glossy Ok Arthur Dent. Lol
Glossy · F
@Straylight oh wait. Cat + spaceship = Red Dwarf. Spaceship + Towel = HHGTTG...

ok, swap the towel for a swimsuit and the spaceship for a bicycle.
i come here few times before but you haven't write anything for me 🥺
ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F
Interesting - how creative!
Peaches · F
Thank you for hearting my comments.💓🤗💐
I am gonna do this. Comment. LOL. Now, give it to me. Hurry. I am fighting sleep. I am off work tonight and tomorrow night.
@Straylight That is freaking adorable and cool too! Thank you so much. I have never sold real estate, but I can be pretty dang persuasive. Thank you for the time it took and your creativity. Good evening, my friend.
Straylight · 31-35, F
@PoetryNEmotion I'm glad you liked it. The idea just hit me and it seemed fun.
@Straylight You are such a delight!
JesseInTX · 51-55, M
Why not, go for it 👍🏻
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
Oh do me. Do me please?
lovingdead · 31-35, M
@Fungirlmmm if i was immature i would make a sex joke here ;)
Straylight · 31-35, F
@Dewms Pocket Dewms>Pokemon.
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@Straylight Seconded.
@Straylight bahahaahahahahahahahah!!! with my huge metal clawssss 🥰
english · 56-60, M
i thought i heard the truth,i thought i found a better way, i thought i heard the truth, but its not the truth today. 😕
Straylight · 31-35, F
@english ...what?
english · 56-60, M
@Straylight -so much for your offer of an epilogue, 🙄😕🙄 stray stray stray, stick to comedy😂
Fangirlsarah1996 · 26-30, F
I'm sure you'll do something appropriate and mostly safe for work 😘
Fangirlsarah1996 · 26-30, F
Straylight · 31-35, F
@Fangirlsarah1996 1000PaperCranes responce was basically me sexting her 😅
Fangirlsarah1996 · 26-30, F
@Straylight Oof, how lewd...😏
Did I really not do this? How's that possible?
@Straylight most impressive!
Straylight · 31-35, F
@AcidBurn Sorry it took so long. 😅
@Straylight no worries (:
lovingdead · 31-35, M
I'll take one if this is still available
lovingdead · 31-35, M
Straylight · 31-35, F
@lovingdead Has it been two years already? 😅

The king had saddled up and was riding away. You prepared the horse yourself, one of the many faceless cogs in the machine that kept the royal estates in order.
The area was a great distance the rest of the Kings land, far removed from his countrymen and their concerns. This was evident by his policies. Conflict was brewing in the border marches with the neighboring lands. The contested land wasnt remarkable in any way. Ut contained few resources and its location was of no strategic importance. It was mostly pride that was on the line. And for pride, rulers would spill blood.
The king and his accompanying noble and hangers on were all over the horizon now. An afternoon of hunting to celebrate the plans to move forces into the border marches.
"They seem pleased with themselves." The voice was the Kings nephew, the heir apparent.
"My lord." You bow to the prince.
He looks around anxiously. Satisfied that no one is around to hear, he approaches you.
"Did you... did you do it?"
"It is done, my lord." You assure him quietly.
He looks relieved, but the weight of what he's done is still on him.
"You seem nervous." You say, slowly. You look him over and he visibly shivers, as though a lion where eyeing him up as a meal.
"No... You did well. You did... what I hired you for." He replies. "How will he die?"
"I placed a thorn inside the saddle." You say evenly. "When he drives the horse to chase their prey, the movement will drive the thorn into the horses haunches and the beast will throw him."
The prince swallows. "I'll have your money in the agreed upon location. I think it's best we not be seen talking again."
You nod and walk away. "Why do you do it?" He suddenly calls back to you.
Without turning around, you tell him in an even tone, "Because conflicts between kings can end in two ways; thousands dead, or just the one."
"The one with the crown." The prince says with a bitter taste on his lips.
You turn your head to the man and give a humorless smile. "Rule with wisdom. I would not relish having to return."
lovingdead · 31-35, M
@Straylight well worth the wait. (Slow clap)
YukiSohma · 31-35, F
This comment is a comment (this comment is a comment).

t.l. note: This comment is a comment.

P.S. This is a comment.
Straylight · 31-35, F
It took me four days, but that's everyone. Unless I get another request, thanks everyone who replied. It's been fun seeing what crazy directions I could take with these.
SW-User
I want another one.
Straylight · 31-35, F
@SW-User Ok ok.
SW-User
@Straylight tank you. ☺
Straylight · 31-35, F
@SW-User Previously on Exhausted Mystery:

"I'm Mystery, and this is the story of how I died."
***
A screen shows a petri dish, its contents rapidly expanding. Mystery looks up grimly, "The virus is replicating faster than expected. You've doomed us all."
***

@SW-User struggles to pull the plane out of its nose dive. "Look, on the wing! What is that thing?"
A metallic pod on spider like legs scurry up the wing and extends several buzz saws.
"A sabotage drone!" Mystery yells back, "You land this plane, I'll get the bug off of us!"
***

@Selah smiles triumphantly, taking a long sip of gin. "Exhausted Mystery, the spy hunter, savior of the UK, code name Vanguard. So many titles, so little impact."
Mystery struggles against the restraints. "You expect me to talk Selah?"
"No Mystery, I expect you to die." With those words, the laser hums to life.
***

Mystery swings the car into traffic. He'd ditched the police cars, but the helicopter was still on his back. From the passenger seats @BabyLonia looks frantic.
"You're telling me that parliament has been replaced by androids?!"
Mystery hits the accelerator and cuts off a line of traffic making a line for a tunnel. "Not just them, leaders from around the world.
He sees his chance, two cars ahead that are the same colour and similar build to his own. If he can shake up traffic, there's a chance ths chopper will follow the wrong car when they leave the tunnel.
"What are you doing?" Babylon shrieks as he shifts gears.
Mystery grins, "Time for a little three card monty."
***
@english drags himself to the control panel. Bones are broken, blood leaks down his face, but he's not finished yet. He scans the panel and sees what's he's after.
"From hell's heart I stab at the. For hates sake, I spit my last breath at thee." And with the last of his strength he smashes a single button.
Mystery and the others run in, but it's too late. Sirens are going off and warning lights are flashing. "English, what have you done?!" Mystery cries out. In the distance, an automated voice comes on the intercom. "Warning, reactor meltdown is imminent. Evacuate the facility immediately. Warning reactor meltdown is imminent. Evacuate the facility immediately."
***
And now, the exciting conclusion. (More to come)
Thewhiterabbit46x2 · 41-45, M
Is it too late to get in on this?
Straylight · 31-35, F
@Thewhiterabbit46x2it's been a while, I guess I'll get back to these.
Thewhiterabbit46x2 · 41-45, M
@Straylight I’m a Comparative Lit major in a graduate program, and I’m supposed to be writing more than I am...way more... but I get stage fright.
Straylight · 31-35, F
@Thewhiterabbit46x2 My girlfriend tries to sit with me while I write, but I just cant when I think someone's watching me.
Girlbehindthecurtain · 31-35, F
Okay i'm curious
Girlbehindthecurtain · 31-35, F
@Straylight 😲wow
Straylight · 31-35, F
@Girlbehindthecurtain You like it?
Girlbehindthecurtain · 31-35, F
@Straylight of course i do!😍thank you😋
sarabee1995 · 26-30, F
Oh no! Did I die?
sarabee1995 · 26-30, F
@Straylight Hahaha, well, don't injure me too badly. And please, not the face! ;)
Straylight · 31-35, F
@sarabee1995 I just looked at this again. I need to do more with this.
sarabee1995 · 26-30, F
@Straylight I still love it! As you know, I would always answer Father Marconi's call. 😁
SW-User
Im not sure if i already commented on this thread 🤔👀
Straylight · 31-35, F
@SW-User "We need more rain!"

"Please make Namini love me!"

"My cat is sick, make him better!"

"We need less rain!"

And so on and so on every day. When you took the crown of stars and ascended to goddess-hood, you expected a bright future of being worshipped and adored.

"Please help me pass exams!"

"The team needs this win to make play offs, come onnn!"

"I need this promotion, please help!"

But you feel mire like a civil servant, sorting through these prayers like paper work, checking against the grand design. You sigh as more come in.

"Please help me find my ring before my wife notices it's gone."

"Make him notice me, I'll do anything."

The gods of legend seemed to have more fun. This was mundane.

"If you get me out of this alive, I'll dedicate my life to you!"

*sigh* Back to work. You wonder if it's too early to vacation in mortal form.
SW-User
@Straylight if this isn't what i live now.... 🤔 😂 😂 😂
Gentlemickey · 70-79, M
I'm ready if you are ... 😌
Straylight · 31-35, F
@Gentlemickey The sound of thousands of tiny voices was like a low rumble until they burst into a "Huzzah!" In unison. And so it went, "Rumble, rumble, rumble, huzzah! Rumble, rumble, rumble, huzzah!" You figure you should be flattered, it's not every day that a race of gnome like creatures decide you're their god. You look over to the horizon at your little fishing boat. Part of it juts out of the water, but it's good and sunk. You're not even sure where this island is.
Your thoughts are interrupted by a new murdering. Several of the gnomes are chattering and festering towards what appears to be a little kite, stuck in a low tree branch.

"Oh," reach over and pluck it from the tree, handing it to your tiny worshippers. "Here you go."

"Here you go!!!" The repeat excitedly. There is something of a language barrier here.
You wonder if you can salvage the radio from your boat. Maybe if you dried the parts in the sun...

"Huzzah! Here you go!" The miniscule worshippers declare, hauling a small roasted bird before you. Likely a major kill for these creatures. They all watch expectedly. It smells ok. They seem to have seasoned it. You take a small bite.
"Hmm, not bad." They don't seem to understand. "Um, here you go?"

"Here you go!" They all cheer. You may be shipwrecked, but for now you can enjoy the fruits of godhood at least.
They carry a hollowed coconut shell fillec with what smells like fruity alcohol. You shrug and declare "Here you go!" Before downing it.

"Here you go!! Here you go!! Huzzah! Here you go!!"
Gentlemickey · 70-79, M
@Straylight Wow, that is really nice !! You wrote a whole book. You have quite an imagination ! I really enjoyed it ... Thank you for including me in your fun adventure ... 😌🤗
Straylight · 31-35, F
@Gentlemickey I'm glad you liked it. 🤗
Classified · M
Saw pirate commenting here. This looks like fun. 🤩
Classified · M
@Straylight It figures you don't feel like doing this anymore, but at least I wanted to try. 😋
Straylight · 31-35, F
@Classified I'll get to it. I just need to think of a hook...
Classified · M
@Straylight Okay if you please 😊
Harriet03 · 41-45, F
If there's a "afterife" I'd prefer to see the wine list!
I woke up in a field of flowers.
Straylight · 31-35, F
@Elandra77 She woke up in a field of flowers. The time spent in the other timeline was already fading like a dream. The chronovore was gone for now. The world would never know how close it came to blinking out of existence, or Elandra's role in saving it. And soon neither would she. The memories of living in a future that never was could not be held on to, but part of her would always know.
@Straylight I love this reply so very much. Thanks.
How’d I miss this?!?
Straylight · 31-35, F
@ProdigalSummer She sat in her garden, thinking about things she had done, things she always meant to do, things she regretted doing. She was happy though, she made a mark on the world. Shed loved and been loved, and that's why she was here. She wondered what everyone would think when they realized she was gone. Rising, she walked into the trees. They seemed to go on forever, changing with each turn she took down this unmarked trail. The plant life grew lusher, bigger, they began to display luminessent colours and strange flowers. The animals grew more and more fantastic less shy. Soon they were creatures of legend walking with her. A pearlessant unicorn bowed low, offering a ride. She accepted graciously. Her people began to come into the clearing, joyous revelry at seeing their queen again. Titania would miss parts of the mortal world, but the queen of the fair folk was happy to be home.
@Straylight swoon
vetguy1991 · 51-55, M
Here lies the body of Mary McGee
Died at the age of 103
For 15 years she kept her virginity
Not a bad record for this vicinity
Straylight · 31-35, F
@vetguy1991 He was back in his own timeline again. Not taking a moment to recover, he sprints to his computer and begins skimming news articles and historic events. Everything seemed correct, as far as he could tell. He wondered if the others were ok. He thought of looking them up, but if everything worked they wouldn't know him anymore.
He reported to base the next day and was informed the project was canceled, that it looked like he wouldn't be the world's first time traveler after all. If only they knew. The portal, the time war, the chronovore, none of it ever happened now. He entered his COs office and hoped for a quiet assignment.
summersong · F
I know I’m ridiculously late but this is the best idea.
Straylight · 31-35, F
@summersong 'Note to self: buy more butter' the tiny yellow note read. You add butter to the grocery list.
"Not self, switch over the laundry.' You take the contents of the washer and put them in the dryer.
"Note to self: reset the traps." You check the traps around you and reset them all.
"Note to self: put a circle of salt round bed."
An important one, at least you think it is. Youre not sure what's been sneaking in and stealing memories, but you were going to make them pay.
You hear a scream outside and Sprint out excitedly. But it's only the mail man, caught in a bear trap. You role your eyes at the spectacle.
"I'm coming, you big baby."
summersong · F
@Straylight I love this 😄
XReaganX · 26-30, F
Ooooo write to me. ;)
Straylight · 31-35, F
@XReaganX "I hate ants." You say to the couple across your desk. "And I'm sure you do too."
They nod in agreement as they thumb through the catalog you gave them.
"Fortunately, we offer a number of safe and effective ways to deal with them. Tell me, when do you most hate to see ants?"

"Well," the lady begins, "When we're playing outside with the kids they just ruin the whole day."

"Eexactly. And you don't want your kids getting bitten." You pull out a new pamplet. "I recommend the Home Shield 500."

They excitedly look over the pictures as you continue. "Four automated defense turrets can be placed around your home. A state of the art targeting system is guided by a combination of GPS and sensors that can detect ant pheromones from up to a mile away and fire an armor piercing missile at the pests."

The man looks impressed. "The same kind the army uses against tanks?" He asks.

"The very same. I have this for my house. It can also target termites."

The woman speaks up again. "Ever since the government made them fifty feet tall, it's been terrible."

"It was necessary to stop the communists, hunney." The man chimes in.

You cut in. "I'm sure no one expected they could breed so fast, or breath fire. What's important now is that you and your family are protected by guided missiles and plasma cutting beams. Now, let's talk warranty."
XReaganX · 26-30, F
@Straylight LMAO!!!! YESSSS!!!
Straylight · 31-35, F
@SW-User "More tea, Mr. Mail man?" You ask, pouring an imaginary cup and placing it in front of the statue.
"Mrs. Nesbit, how are your tulips coming in?" You ask another. You nod enthusiastically, as though the granite were answering. Then sigh and toss the teapot aside. This is very unfulfilling. You walk down the garden, taking your hat off the outstretched hand of yet another statue. What you wouldn't give for some company.
The doorbell rings. "Pizza!" They call from the front door. Maybe they'll stay and have a slice with you! You rush to the front door excitedly and swing the door open.
"I have a medium peperoni and... ahhh!" He cries in shock. Oh no, you forgot the reflective sunglasses again! The snakes that make up your hair rise and hiss as the delivery man turns to stone. You sigh in disappointment as you drag him to the garden. Of well, another statue.
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@Straylight This made my day.
SW-User
@Straylight omg that’s so cool. Last night I had a dream about an Alice in wonderland theme
JohnOinger · 41-45, M
Straylight · 31-35, F
@JohnOinger The internet's favorite question was "What do you think of John Olinger and would you do him?"
The answer is always yes.
But what do you when you've reached the top? He's completed all his goals in life. Reinnovate the porn industry? Check. He'd won multiple awards in the industry. Become an action star? Check. He'd won an Oscar for every role he was in. Even best original score! Become a billionaire philanthropist? He's donated enough money to buy Bill Gates and still lived in luxury. And so Caesar wept, for he had no more world's to conquer.
If he could do it all again, would he do anything different? No, he nailed it the first time. Would he do it all again anyways? Yes, that's why he invented a time machine, after all.
JohnOinger · 41-45, M
Harriet03 · 41-45, F
@Straylight All before he's 40!!!!!! WHAT A GUY....
Rokasu · 36-40, M
That's a lot of work.
Straylight · 31-35, F
@Rokasu I started with nothing in mind and ended on former mafia hit man.
Rokasu · 36-40, M
@Straylight That’s deeper than my mind goes. I’d end up with someone cyber punk or fantasy related.
Straylight · 31-35, F
@Rokasu Those are two great genres.
Gentlemickey · 70-79, M
Go for it please !!
I want this if you don't mind
Straylight · 31-35, F
@YukikoAmagi You're on the list. 👍
@Straylight yaaaay 😀
SW-User
where was I when this went down lol
LondonCowboy · 51-55, M
I’d love one 🌹
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SW-User
If this is still valid, yes please! Your review was great and a matching epilogue would definitely seal the deal.
Straylight · 31-35, F
@SW-User He sat by the side of the road looking dejectedly at his car. The tire was blown out, but that was easy enough to fix. It was the cracked radiator that was the real problem. This was a real junker, but the price was right for the time. Now, here he was on the side of a winding country road, not a building in sight for miles. But fortune smiled as a car ambled up behind him.

"Looks like car problems. Need a ride?" The driver asked.

"I would appreciate it, thanks." He answered, climbing in to the passenger seat.

After a few minutes of small talk they notice the emergency broadcast on the radio. The prime minister had been found dead from a single gunshot wound to the head. The driver was shocked, he had much to say about the state of society and politics. While he rambled on, his hitchhiker subtly slipped a small pistol from his sleeve and tossed it from the window.
SW-User
@Straylight 😱 That is the start of a very scary story!
JohnOinger · 41-45, M
@Straylight expect Me Right You Would Do Me🙂
Straylight · 31-35, F
@JohnOinger lol, how could I resist?
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@Straylight Renegade Femshep ftw
Moosepantspatty · 31-35, M
Do me again!

 
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