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I Lost My Virginity To Rape

I came on here to talk about my experiences growing up. I thought that this was as good a place as any and that maybe now was the time for me to talk. I’ve realised now though that it isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I was abused growing up by a man who was close to my family and who I trusted as part of it. He’s not the same man who did those things to me now, we are close and I still see him all the time. It’s just that thinking about the past and the things that he did is still very difficult for me, and I don’t really know how to move past that. I hope that just by putting myself out there a little and trying to talk about it, things will get easier and I will be able to move past it so that it won’t affect me anymore. Fingers crossed 🙂
SW-User
Do you feel you have to be close to this person?
Have you let yourself feel rage for what he took away?
It wasn't okay.
And I am so sorry you endured that.
The reason I ask is that I know too well this story.
Until I accepted the truth that I had a damn right to be angry... I couldn't get past it.
Not saying to live in anger or stay bitter.
Rage is one stage of the process not suppose to stay there.
It is an acknowledgement of your loss and what was taken away.
holsywols · 22-25, F
@SW-User Hi. Thanks for your reply. Yes, there have been times in the past where I’ve felt angry with him but I’ve forgiven him and we’ve moved past it.
@holsywols he must pay for his crime and must be an example for all the animals like him. If you were my daughter i would have skinned him, pour acid on each cut and let him live and die slow death.
I'm sorry for what happened to you... You are doing good and if this feels the right path to help yourself to forgive the past, then stay and talk to friendly and kind users, do not allow some unkind comments discourage you..

Good luck
holsywols · 22-25, F
Thank you ❤️ @Soossie
Daviszabecki · 56-60, M
My initial reaction is — independently of whether really has changed or not (the doubt is there, but I have no reason not to believe you) — have you confronted him or not? I’d say that’s a necessity if you’re to be able to move on...
holsywols · 22-25, F
@Daviszabecki Thank you 💖
mrbuddhawannabe · 56-60, M
@holsywols I am glad to hear that you think he has changed and forgiven him. Are you sure he has not preyed on other girls?
holsywols · 22-25, F
@mrbuddhawannabe Yes I am sure, that is not a risk that I would take.
missit15 · 56-60, M
I hope the more you talk about it will help you move past it. Life is a journey and we all have to cross that bridge that may be under construction...

From what i have seen you are moving past it and developing into a beautiful woman.

Peace to you and yours....
holsywols · 22-25, F
@missit15 This is so nice, thank you so much 💖💖
missit15 · 56-60, M
Your welcome...
76starships · 46-50, M
Wow, it is brave of you to be able to talk about that experience. I’m glad that you can, because it will help you heal. It takes time to build up trust for people after someone set you back so far. I think you’ll find many people here on SW who will be friendly and supportive.
holsywols · 22-25, F
@76starships Thank you ❤️
lasergraph · 70-79, M
He did more than just rape you, he took the gift you would someday give to the person of YOUR choice. Forgiveness if for YOU not him, maybe you can free yourself from the hate, but he can never be trusted.
holsywols · 22-25, F
@lasergraph Well I really and truly believe that he can. I choose not to be angry with him for the things that he has done and that makes both of us feel better about the whole situation.
He is the same man. He is likely doing it to other little girls. Be careful.
holsywols · 22-25, F
@Shine You’re right people don’t ‘just change like that’. People change over time when they’re educated about their actions being wrong and harmful. He has changed and you’re missing the point I tried to make with my original post.
melaniejc14 · 22-25, F
@holsywols remember a leopard doesent change its spots once a rapist always a rapist
holsywols · 22-25, F
@melaniejc14 Obviously I can’t speak for any case other than my own but I truly believe that he has changed.
walabby · 61-69, M
You did the right thing in forgiving this guy. Hating someone for a long time is like punishing yourself for something that someone else did.
I hope that you're OK now...
holsywols · 22-25, F
@walabby Thank you ❤️ I’m good now 🙂
IWasCallingYaLarry · 26-30, M
I'm so very sorry that happened. I am glad you have been able to move passed it. You can always talk to me if you need a friend to talk to. I'm a good listener.
holsywols · 22-25, F
@IWasCallingYaLarry Thank you so much, that’s so sweet of you ❤️
IWasCallingYaLarry · 26-30, M
@holsywols You're welcome *hugs* .
Montanaman · M
Only you know your heart, your feelings and emotional Make up. I wish you all the best.👍🤗
holsywols · 22-25, F
Thank you 💖@Montanaman
Montanaman · M
@holsywols you are very welcome. 🤗
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holsywols · 22-25, F
Thank you ❤️ @Fishing65
Khenpal1 · M
it depends how you were affected, if you can cope with past emotions arising from time to time.
eatpraylove · 56-60, F
when you say he raped you do you mean he took you by force or he was an adult and you were a child.
eatpraylove · 56-60, F
I probably started around 9. yes I am grateful. the men in my life used great restraint. good men do.
holsywols · 22-25, F
Good men can make mistakes the same as anyone else though.
eatpraylove · 56-60, F
@holsywols im sure they do all the time.
abe182 · 46-50, M
Fingers crossed and here's to your future 🍻
holsywols · 22-25, F
Thank you 💗@abe182
abe182 · 46-50, M
@holsywols 🤗😊
good luck sweetie. hope it helps.
holsywols · 22-25, F
@holsywols oh and it goes without saying(why do people say that and then say something)

it wasn't your fault
you aren't responsible
you are a good person
Brutalbastard · 41-45, M
Id love to discuss this with you
holsywols · 22-25, F
@Brutalbastard Okay 🙂 Feel free to message me anytime.
Brutalbastard · 41-45, M
@holsywols messaged you
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holsywols · 22-25, F
@dunpender Well your comment seems a little redundant then.
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mrbuddhawannabe · 56-60, M
Try EMDR (You can look it up).
It is a proven method to address PTSD and other trauma.
holsywols · 22-25, F
Thanks, but I don’t have PTSD. @mrbuddhawannabe
mrbuddhawannabe · 56-60, M
@holsywols Understood but rape is a form of trauma do that is why I suggested you looking into that form of therapy.
holsywols · 22-25, F
@mrbuddhawannabe I appreciate the suggestion but I don’t need help.
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holsywols · 22-25, F
What do you mean? @dunpender
Mikelee20 · M
Can you reply to me? @holsywols

 
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