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I Lost My Virginity To Rape

I came on here to talk about my experiences growing up. I thought that this was as good a place as any and that maybe now was the time for me to talk. I’ve realised now though that it isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I was abused growing up by a man who was close to my family and who I trusted as part of it. He’s not the same man who did those things to me now, we are close and I still see him all the time. It’s just that thinking about the past and the things that he did is still very difficult for me, and I don’t really know how to move past that. I hope that just by putting myself out there a little and trying to talk about it, things will get easier and I will be able to move past it so that it won’t affect me anymore. Fingers crossed 🙂
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eatpraylove · 56-60, F
when you say he raped you do you mean he took you by force or he was an adult and you were a child.
holsywols · 22-25, F
@eatpraylove I mean force, although I guess he committed statutory rape as well by default.
eatpraylove · 56-60, F
and why is it that you aren't suing him and joining the me too movement?
holsywols · 22-25, F
@eatpraylove Because he’s changed and he doesn’t deserve that. I’ve forgiven him and I don’t need revenge to make myself feel better about what he did to me. Not that I should have to explain myself or my actions.
eatpraylove · 56-60, F
I don't blame you. I know when I was young I had certain men I was very very attracted to who I teased and tempted relentlessly. I tried every single thing I could think of to try to get them to take me. they never did, but if they had, I would see it just like you do. life is not a black and white as society now pretends it is.
holsywols · 22-25, F
@eatpraylove Are you trying to say that I teased him into doing what he did?
eatpraylove · 56-60, F
@holsywols I have no idea what you did. I only know what I did.
holsywols · 22-25, F
@eatpraylove Well I didn’t. I imagine you were a bit older than I was when you were acting like that anyway. Just be grateful it didn’t happen to you I think. It’s not an easy thing to live with and I totally understand what you’re saying,
it’s just not relevant in my case.
eatpraylove · 56-60, F
I probably started around 9. yes I am grateful. the men in my life used great restraint. good men do.
holsywols · 22-25, F
Good men can make mistakes the same as anyone else though.
eatpraylove · 56-60, F
@holsywols im sure they do all the time.