I Am a Child Abuse Survivor

It bothers me that there are so many of us. And that at the same time it's something we don't know how to talk to eachother about. And I hate that it follows me in my head still even though I'm almost grown and I'm living a good life. It worries me that in years I'll still have bad dreams or randomly think about it like I do now. And it bothers me that my close friends don't know how to act about it because they never had to go through it or that my boyfriend beats himself up because he doesn't know what to do when I have my lows. I don't think I'll ever understand why.

Top | New | Old

KayraJordyn · F

Every experience is so unique. Discussions can be difficult to start. When we open up, though, beautiful things can happen.

I'm lucky. I was mostly mentally and emotionally affected. The physical was spanking with belts. I was a lucky one.

More often than not, those who have experienced life as a child have been abused. Something we don't always realize or consider. So many people, innocents, so much pain...

You could start a support group here. You know?

View 7 more replies »

littleblackbird · 26-30, F

@canusernamebemyusername That's a good idea. I used to get agitated having to go over so many details over and over to every new one

canusernamebemyusername · M

@littleblackbird Me too. I have a long medical history and got so tired of having to go over it with every new person.

KayraJordyn · F

I did this for medical history as well. Saved me sooo much time and anxt, explaining to each new doc, specialist, whatever, and instead let us use our appointment time for more valuable matters. @littleblackbird

JavaJoe · 51-55, M

I don’t even know what to say. Be strong. Be you. Be loving to those around you. Hate only harms you further. Communicate with your guy as to what triggers something. He may not understand, but I’m sure he cares and he needs to know what you’re going through

littleblackbird · 26-30, F

@JavaJoe It just bothers me because I know he doesn't know what to do or say and I hate when he feels like hes helpless for that

JavaJoe · 51-55, M

@littleblackbird I get that. For you, and also for his feelings of frustration. But if you think about it, your abuse becomes his abuse, and he has to process things as well! Best wishes to you! 🤗

goodlil666 · 51-55, M

I would hope you would seek and find qualified professional counseling to help you find some coping mechanisms that work for you. I wish you the best in your quest for peace in your heart and mind.

Livingwell · 61-69, M

You detailed the issues very well. Many try to help and suggest ways to “fix” the problem. But there isn’t a fix. One just has to “heal”, sometimes with help, sometimes on their own terms. But it’s almost impossible for someone that hasn’t experienced it to understand and not get angry, or feel helpless.

littleblackbird · 26-30, F

@Livingwell Yeah and just after watching people be helpless in how to help I feel bad for talking about it now. Till it burst like this

Livingwell · 61-69, M

@littleblackbird Anyone that cares or loves you sees it as a small price to pay for your happiness. Over time, they too will understand. It’s like a man trying to always fix a woman’s problems when all she wants is for him to listen, to vent. Nothing else. 😊

littleblackbird · 26-30, F

@Livingwell Yeah kind of exactly. My bf feels like there's always something he should do when we talk about it

ExperienceDLT · M

I am sorry that happened to you you did not deserve it

littleblackbird · 26-30, F

@ExperienceDLT No one ever does. Thank you

canusernamebemyusername · M

Did you mean that your bf beats himself up about it and that is what you don't understand why? Or the fact that it happened and you don't know why?

View 4 more replies »

littleblackbird · 26-30, F

@canusernamebemyusername thank you. it's odd to bring up. like it's something forbidden because in my head it kind of is

canusernamebemyusername · M

@littleblackbird It is forbidden to do. Not forbidden to talk about. Just remember that. I have heard some horrible experiences so I can't be scared off. Unless someone is just a horrible person. But that is based on personality not a person's experience.

littleblackbird · 26-30, F

@canusernamebemyusername It just feels like we aren't meant to talk about it necause it makes people so uncomfortable

Mrsbetweenfatandfit · 31-35, F

It’s a clusterfck of emotions & issues. Support is big I’ve still only talked about my experience with a few select people & only one in any detail. The shame associated with it can create a feeling of isolation. I sincerely wish you peace & healing.