I Am a Child Abuse Survivor

It bothers me that there are so many of us. And that at the same time it's something we don't know how to talk to eachother about. And I hate that it follows me in my head still even though I'm almost grown and I'm living a good life. It worries me that in years I'll still have bad dreams or randomly think about it like I do now. And it bothers me that my close friends don't know how to act about it because they never had to go through it or that my boyfriend beats himself up because he doesn't know what to do when I have my lows. I don't think I'll ever understand why.

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canusernamebemyusername · M

Did you mean that your bf beats himself up about it and that is what you don't understand why? Or the fact that it happened and you don't know why?

littleblackbird · 26-30, F

@canusernamebemyusername I can't process why someone would abuse their child

canusernamebemyusername · M

@littleblackbird Oh. Hate for one. An uncontrolled libido in some people. Those are the only reasons I can think of. *gives you hugs* I hope you get better in time. Is there anything I can do to help?

littleblackbird · 26-30, F

@canusernamebemyusername I think it just helps to say something every once in a while. It's one of those things you feel like should never be spoken even when it's under your skin

canusernamebemyusername · M

@littleblackbird I have always told people to do the opposite. It should always be spoken of. A disease doesn't go away by not talking about it. You have to talk and do something with what you hear. Same with abuse or rape. They gave you a condition that you have to live with. And I'm glad talking about it helps you. If you ever need to talk let me know.

littleblackbird · 26-30, F

@canusernamebemyusername thank you. it's odd to bring up. like it's something forbidden because in my head it kind of is

canusernamebemyusername · M

@littleblackbird It is forbidden to do. Not forbidden to talk about. Just remember that. I have heard some horrible experiences so I can't be scared off. Unless someone is just a horrible person. But that is based on personality not a person's experience.

littleblackbird · 26-30, F

@canusernamebemyusername It just feels like we aren't meant to talk about it necause it makes people so uncomfortable