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What's your opinion on people who invite someone over for dinner and then expects them to wash the dishes after everyone's done?

I'm not sure if this is a regional thing or if it is customary with most people (I live in the mid-west).. In my family, on both sides, it seemed the dinner guests were expected to clean up. Then way into my adult years, like only a few years ago, it dawned on me that is kinda rude and sets an uncomfortable tone to expect your guests, that you invited for dinner to clean up everything. I would never expect that of my invited guests.
I have no problem doing the dishes or cleaning up after a free meal. It is customary for me. And the stories people who do chores together share is a form of intimacy. You may ask someone to help if that is comfortable for you. If I hold a meal, I generally say no thank you. I do what dishes there are later that night. I like one on one time when I invite people into my home. I don't do this often. I think it is whatever is comfortable for you.
swandfriends41-45, F
Yeah I feel more comfortable maybe cleaning a couple things to get out of the way, then just wash stuff after my guests leave. My grandma thinks dishes needs to be washed right away
@swandfriends Grandmas are old and set in their ways.
whisperingwillow36-40, F
I鈥檝e never been invited anywhere where I was expected to clean up after, but I always do. Even if it鈥檚 a play date or a birthday party, etc.

I never expect anyone to clean up when they come to my house either, and while most don鈥檛 there are definitely some who insist on it.

I think it鈥檚 rude to EXPECT it, but I think it鈥檚 good manners to always offer to clean up just to show your gratitude.
Queendragonfly31-35, F
I know a person who have this rule but she's very special as a person with very special rules.

I wouldn't expect anyone to take their plates and dish them but some of my guests insist and yell at me if they don't get to clean so.. 馃槀
Expressman61-69
@swandfriends I've always asked if help was wanted. A few times accepted, most times rejected.
Queendragonfly31-35, F
@Expressman I have a choice til Mother-in-law visits. She gets a mental breakdown if I "Take the dishes away" from her. 馃檮
Queendragonfly31-35, F
Since she's a boomer I understand it's a strong duty she was taught and that it feels wrong to her to not help.
Cigarguy10141-45, M
My buddy and his daughter help clean up after i cook for them. Do i except it no. Maybe its thier way of saying thanks after the meal. I wouldn't care if the ate and didn't help at all.
Sunstone41-45, F
I've never asked anyone I invited to wash up, I would feel rude doing so, like they have to make up for the dinner I cooked. But I don't think I'd mind if it were the other way round.
val7051-55
Yes, it's rude. Not polite at all. Not done. Shows up an element of not have been wanted. Hope that clears up things. It's the European way to be direct :-)
calicuz51-55, M
No way, I would never have my guests clean up anything. We're from the Midwest as well, and we were never taught that.
Starcrossed41-45, F
I think that's an odd behavior.

Generally I don't like cleaning up until after my guests are gone.
PhoenixPhailM
I've never heard of such a thing.
KimmyGaryF
Paper plates at my place

 
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