Random stuff

Spoiler alert: Sorry about the random stuff I keep writing on here. I can't express any of them in real life. I'm stuck in a place where I have to act as if nothing is happening.

Idk what to do in that case. I want to bawl my eyes out and cry but I can't. I'm sitting in my car feeling motionless remembering everything that happened a few hours earlier. I have so many questions yet I can't even search for the answers. I'm wondering if I was even worth it.

Tbh this is one of those bittersweet moments. Like I know people are happy. Like honestly, that's what I've wanted all along but I'm not part of it anymore.

Guess that's life. I'm never going to be a part of anything.

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elafina · 36-40, F

[quote]I'm never going to be a part of anything.[/quote]
You know we create our realities and that's a limiting belief... easier to see this in another's rather than our own personal beliefs.. change the narrative. And, for the time being, hugs 🤗
Your moment will come.... hold on.. maybe get yourself a beer or something ? And just enjoy a silent moment of distant observation, and feeling what is ..

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elafina · 36-40, F

@Beatbox34 it will take sometime.. but sitting in the car and getting drunk isn't safe...be careful, okay ? Be safe.
Things matter, but it sounds like a circle is closing for you..be patient and let things happen in their natural rythm. Take the time to clean, empty, organise... but before that, give yourself few vacation days to relax and rest, the situation sounds stressful..

Coppercoil · M

@elafina great minds think alike.. this is my meditation lately and i wrote a poem about it moments ago!

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@elafina Thank you. I'll be safe. There's a lot eating me. I won't overdo my drinks lol because I've had nothing to eat all day and it'll literally kill me.

MoonlightLullaby · 41-45, F

There's still life left to live.♥️🤗

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@MoonlightLullaby I guess I'll live.

It's just sad that an entire year is gone as if I never mattered. That hurts so much.

MoonlightLullaby · 41-45, F

@Beatbox34 That person didn't deserve you. I know it hurts though, it has to.

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@MoonlightLullaby I guess I never mattered.

lovelywarpedlemon

awww omg be my friend, i'll be your friend. you seem cool. 🖤✨ you are a part of us SW freaks. lol. 😈

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@lovelywarpedlemon Thank you for being my friend 🤗. Being an SW freak is better than a bad person lol.

nonsensiclesnail · F

What happened a few hours earlier?

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@nonsensiclesnail Basically I was pushed out of a dear one's life.

I had no say. I was made to feel worthless and everything I did to this day didn't matter. It's like my existence disappeared within a week of not talking. For once, I want to disappear and never exist.

What I have out was my heart lol and I watched it get stabbed.

nonsensiclesnail · F

@Beatbox34 that is rough!!! I’m sorry that has happened to you.

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@nonsensiclesnail Thank you. It's okay. I'm just learning to live with it.

TryingtoLava

<3 <3

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