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buddha95x · 31-35, T
i'm sure you've heard this many times... but not all men are the same. I am the most straightforward guy i know. I'm so sorry you went through that. Unfortunately there are some women that do the same thing to men. It is a sick thing. I wish your heart a strong powerful healing. warm hugs.
Carissimi · F
@buddha95x I’m not upset. It’s just an observation of a behavior that tries my patience.

slobound · 46-50, M
If they're deflecting like that you've struck a nerve and they don't want to give you an honest answer but they don't want to lie so they're trying to dodge the issue.
slobound · 46-50, M
@Carissimi Not to toot my own horn (ha) but that’s something I learned way early, like walking before you run - listen before you talk. It’s near impossible for so many men to understand that women are people to and want to be heard just like men are.
Carissimi · F
@slobound Thank you. Yes, we are people too, and just want some respect as intelligent individuals who enjoy a normal and intelligent conversation. I’ll speak for myself, not all women.
slobound · 46-50, M
@Carissimi Well I am happy to oblige :)
Montanaman · M
*Feels* there's more to life and relationships than wasting your time on drival. Look for the good ones. 🙄😔🤗
We're here.😎
Carissimi · F
@Zonuss That’s insulting. I am not looking to hear what “I” want to hear. I’m interested in what the other person thinks. If I wasn’t interested, I wouldn’t ask. I’m done with this conversation. You are being adversarial just for the sake of it, I think. Have a good day.
@Carissimi I know that's not why you're here. I know that. I feel this way, and I should have made myself more clear. Whether looking for someone or not, to me it shows that they are emotionally unavailable if they don't care enough to even pay attention to what you're asking Or answer it.
Zonuss · 41-45, M
@Carissimi That response was not meant to insult. It was meant to inform. Anyway it seems like you are contradicting yourself here today. You say you're not generalizing. So what are you doing? You want answers then ask a man who will give you one. Problem solved. 🙂
Simple. It's called [i]avoidance. [/i] 😂
@Carissimi Oh, I think their hearing is just fine, but it's very selective. Don't want to hit a nerve. 🤣
Carissimi · F
@LadyGrace You can’t hit a nerve in a general conversation.
@Carissimi You can if they've something to hide and/or think you're digging. Or avoiding a certain subject.
It's a big red flag, if they get upset with you for even asking.
meJess · F
Would you like that alphabetically or chronologically?
ThePerfectUsername · 70-79, M
You don't have that list sorted by height I suppose? 😁🤗 @meJess
meJess · F
@ThePerfectUsername height of impudence?
ThePerfectUsername · 70-79, M
LOL! 😂 @meJess
nedkelly · 61-69, M
Many times ladies do not like the answers we provide, it is very hard to please women all the time
Carissimi · F
@DudeistPriest I really appreciate your full explanation, but must respectfully disagree. When a man tells me he’s visited a certain part of the world, and I say, “I’ve been there too, how do you like it?” I don’t think that’s beating around the bush, or being vague. I know what you are talking about, but it’s not what I’m talking about. My context for these questions are just straight, everyday, common place questions. No one has to please me to give me an answer.
@Carissimi "'When a man tells me he’s visited a certain part of the world, and I say, “I’ve been there too, how do you like it?'"

I would describe what I liked about it like the food, the people, the cost of living. That sounds more like a normal flow of conversation. Has someone ignored you when you asked them this?
Carissimi · F
@DudeistPriest That was just an analogy, and maybe not a good one. You are giving me advice on having a conversation. That’s not what this post is about. Thank you, anyway. I know you mean well.
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
I have found that at times too. I am a very direct person and maybe that is off putting? I would rather just know than have to figure it out.
@ravenwind43 That's the key, right there. Communication on both parts. Neither are remind readers. If they think so, that's when things get sticky and complicated. Then they wonder why.
Carissimi · F
@ravenwind43 Right. If I ask someone the time, I don’t want to hear 3-weeks next Saturday as the answer. Not that this is a real Q&A, but an analogy of what I’m talking about here. It’s not even personal questions.
ThePerfectUsername · 70-79, M
For me the problem lies in the definition of "men".

I know what you mean.. But to me [b]men[/b] treat women as peers. Different... but still equal in every meaningful way.

And to me anyone who acts as you say is a mere male who lacks whatever it takes to be a man.
Carissimi · F
@Zonuss What is it with you being on my case?
Carissimi · F
@ThePerfectUsername Exactly. Thank you.
Zonuss · 41-45, M
@ThePerfectUsername Generalizations are not true. They are assumptions based on misunderstandings. Get over that. 🙂
yogibooboo · M
So should the question be, "What is wrong with the man I went out with"?
Carissimi · F
@yogibooboo The question should be exactly as it stands. You are seeing things that are not there.
yogibooboo · M
@Carissimi I suggest that you are seeing things that are not there. You have generalized every man on the planet with your own singular experience.
Carissimi · F
@yogibooboo It is not based on one experience, but a pattern I’ve observed over many years. You are entitled to think as you wish. I have no desire to engage in an argument.
Rhodesianman · 56-60, M
Not all men are the same and wish people wouldnt make sweeping remarks like that as it just isnt true .I am an open book and I am always honest because if people dont like the answer TOUGH if you dont want to hear the truth dont ask.
Rhodesianman · 56-60, M
@Carissimi Definitly a woman .Give them your opinion then if they dont agree with it then its a man thing .If you ask a question then ask the right question .If I got asked that question Iwould give my opinion of it .Whether you like the answer I wouldnt care as it would be my opinion and I am entitled to that .
Carissimi · F
@Rhodesianman As I said, “space aliens.” It’s like I’m communicating with beings on another planet speaking with you and @zonuss. I rest my case.
Zonuss · 41-45, M
@Carissimi No. You just refuse to accept that not all Men are the same. And after reading this post it's quite obvious.
Cheesecake · 61-69, M
Wow. Loads of comments on this one! 😲
Hardly surprising.

I kind of feel gender doesn't really matter. People are what they are. Some naughty, some nice, as the song goes 🙄
Tatsumi · 31-35, M
It really depends on what kind of answer you're trying to get out of him, imo.
Carissimi · F
@Tatsumi When I ask a man what he thinks of such and such (it could be any topic under the sun), and he just goes on about something else, or responds with a non answer, well, the only thing I expect from him is to answer the bloody question. It means he’s not listening to me, and has no interest in what I’m saying. Therefore why would I carry on a discussion with someone who doesn’t listen? I won’t. It’s rude at the very least.
SW-User
I'm a man but I gotta agree with ya. Think it's emotional immaturity pure and simple as. Some men are still little boys underneath literally in mentality and emotions. But yet they have big egos, so can be a bad combo
Carissimi · F
@SW-User You make a good point. I’ve noticed this myself.
SW-User
@Carissimi Yup, I've seen it plenty in my other fellows
That pisses me off
Carissimi · F
@Freudianslip13 I know. Me too.
Whyme · 46-50, M
Some im sure are just seeing things differently nay be seeing a different question than your asking if that makes sense
Carissimi · F
@Whyme Maybe, but it’s so prevalent in men. I’m thinking it’s genetic.
Success · 26-30, F
This sounds like the male complaint about women: that they're never quite as forthcoming as they should be.
Zonuss · 41-45, M
Its all about choice. The question is what type of Men are you attracting to your inner circle. 🙂
Carissimi · F
@Zonuss What do you mean by “go for”? I speak to most people who speak to me. Men and women. I don’t “go for” anyone. How rude I would be to only speak to specific people.
Zonuss · 41-45, M
@Carissimi Well what do you expect. Are you having realistic expectations. Ask yourself that question please.
Carissimi · F
@Zonuss I don’t even know what you are talking about. What do I expect? I expect an answer. I don’t consider that unrealistic during a conversation with anyone. This is not complicated. It’s very simple.

 
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