What is Wrong with Men?

What is it with men that they seem incapable of answering a straight question? I come across it frequently. It comes in several forms, one being, they say something you find interesting, you ask them a question about it, and it’s like you never asked. They ignore the question, and go on with something else.
Another one: you ask for clarification on something they say to you, and they respond with drivel that has nothing to do with your question.
I wasted the best part of my prime years with a man who played mind games with me. Trying to get answers was like pulling teeth. It was exhausting. Now when a man wants me to jump through hoops to get an answer, he’s out of luck. Been there, done that, no more patience with it.
I’ve met one woman like this, so it’s not just men, but from personal experience, they are the worse.

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nedkelly · 61-69, M

Many times ladies do not like the answers we provide, it is very hard to please women all the time

Carissimi · F

@nedkelly I don’t need to be pleased. If I ask someone a question, especially a subject they brought up, I expect a straight answer, and to be treated like an intelligent human being, not be ignored, or respond with nonsense.

LadyGrace ·

@nedkelly It is, but it's very frustrating when you don't get a direct answer. We aren't fond of vague answers. ☺️ That just calls for more questions. Hahaha

DudeistPriest · M

@Carissimi Good question and what you ask certainly deserves merit. What Ned said both answers your question directly and I feel is also on the mark. I'm the no-nonsense type (which sometimes gets me in trouble) but can recognize the seriousness of these moments and respond directly and appropriately in kind. I have no problem with that, but I cannot expect others to do the same.

It's been my experience through observation over decades that a lot of women do not ask direct questions. Instead dance around a subject first and hint at a question later rather than taking the direct route. This also frustrates us men as well, just like you, so I can appreciate where you're coming from.

I can say that the last time I got a direct question from a woman was years ago and must say I've become accustomed to it. Having to play the mind-reader, you know. So when I do receive a direct question from a woman it seems both unusual (making me wonder where it comes from - previous impatience, frustration, etc...), and refreshing all at the same time. Of course I respond directly.

Many times it really depends upon the nature of the question as well, i.e. it's too personal or too out of left field. No one is obligated to answer uncomfortable questions that seem out of place and I don't expect you to answer them either.

So yes, many times women don't like the answers we provide so there is reluctance to cause a stir. Other times the question is too personal. And no, there's nothing wrong with men as there are other factors at play in the two-way street called human interaction. But that doesn't mean you can't ask. I hope this helps clarify things.

Carissimi · F

@DudeistPriest I really appreciate your full explanation, but must respectfully disagree. When a man tells me he’s visited a certain part of the world, and I say, “I’ve been there too, how do you like it?” I don’t think that’s beating around the bush, or being vague. I know what you are talking about, but it’s not what I’m talking about. My context for these questions are just straight, everyday, common place questions. No one has to please me to give me an answer.

DudeistPriest · M

@Carissimi "'When a man tells me he’s visited a certain part of the world, and I say, “I’ve been there too, how do you like it?'"

I would describe what I liked about it like the food, the people, the cost of living. That sounds more like a normal flow of conversation. Has someone ignored you when you asked them this?

Carissimi · F

@DudeistPriest That was just an analogy, and maybe not a good one. You are giving me advice on having a conversation. That’s not what this post is about. Thank you, anyway. I know you mean well.