What is Wrong with Men?

What is it with men that they seem incapable of answering a straight question? I come across it frequently. It comes in several forms, one being, they say something you find interesting, you ask them a question about it, and it’s like you never asked. They ignore the question, and go on with something else.
Another one: you ask for clarification on something they say to you, and they respond with drivel that has nothing to do with your question.
I wasted the best part of my prime years with a man who played mind games with me. Trying to get answers was like pulling teeth. It was exhausting. Now when a man wants me to jump through hoops to get an answer, he’s out of luck. Been there, done that, no more patience with it.
I’ve met one woman like this, so it’s not just men, but from personal experience, they are the worse.

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Montanaman · M

*Feels* there's more to life and relationships than wasting your time on drival. Look for the good ones. 🙄😔🤗
We're here.😎

Lilnonames · F

@Montanaman yup im still looking for them lol 🤭

Carissimi · F

@Montanaman Exactly! I don’t waste my time on pulling teeth any more. It just makes me feel contempt for a person when they want me to work for an answer.

Montanaman · M

@Carissimi totally understand.👍😔🤗

LadyGrace ·

@Carissimi Same here. I never waste my time on men who avoid questions. That only tells me they're playing games. Our questions are important, or we wouldn't ask.

Carissimi · F

@Montanaman Just to be clear. This is not about looking for a man or anything romantic, it’s just general conversation.

Montanaman · M

@Carissimi totally understood.👍

Carissimi · F

@LadyGrace Precisely. If I ask someone a question, it’s because I’m really interested in hearing their answer, or else I wouldn’t ask in the first place. To ignore that, or give a non answer just shows a lack of respect.

LadyGrace ·

@Carissimi It does. To me, it reeks "emotionally unavailable". And that's exactly why I don't waste my time. That's why I dumped the last one. Hahaha

Carissimi · F

@LadyGrace This has nothing to do with emotions, except my patience level. I can’t dump anyone because I don’t start romantic relationships to do any dumping. That’s not why I’m here.

DudeistPriest · M

@Carissimi A lack of respect may not necessarily be accurate. Here's an idea. The next time you ask someone a question and get a blank look or no answer, say something like "I’m really interested in hearing from you". I use that one and usually get a reply. Like comedy, it's in the timing.

Carissimi · F

@DudeistPriest When I say “ignored,” I don’t mean they ignore me. They ignore what I said, or asked. As harsh as this may sound, I endured so much of this during a 25-year period that I’m burnt out, and if someone does this now, my brain turns off in self preservation.
If ever I did meet a man in real life, the best way to see me disappear is to do this.

DudeistPriest · M

@Carissimi I feel the best thing to do in this case would be to state from the beginning what you just told me. In the greater scheme of things, one person cannot change an entire group of people, but you can state the obvious to them in this regard from the beginning. Life is too short for BS, say you don't put up with it if you have to.

Carissimi · F

@DudeistPriest Can you imagine how hostile I would sound if I said that to a guy just meeting him? I wouldn’t see him for dust, and I wouldn’t blame him. Lol No, I like a conversation to be organic and flow naturally. If he turned out to be a non listener, I just wouldn’t see him again, or avoid interaction if he was in the same company, while remaining polite.

Montanaman · M

@Carissimi Snap! 👍👍☺️🤗😎

Darina · F

@Carissimi

Zonuss · 41-45, M

@Carissimi Maybe they heard you. But don't care to answer of is not giving you the answer you wanna hear. 🙂

Carissimi · F

@Zonuss That’s insulting. I am not looking to hear what “I” want to hear. I’m interested in what the other person thinks. If I wasn’t interested, I wouldn’t ask. I’m done with this conversation. You are being adversarial just for the sake of it, I think. Have a good day.

LadyGrace ·

@Carissimi I know that's not why you're here. I know that. I feel this way, and I should have made myself more clear. Whether looking for someone or not, to me it shows that they are emotionally unavailable if they don't care enough to even pay attention to what you're asking Or answer it.

Zonuss · 41-45, M

@Carissimi That response was not meant to insult. It was meant to inform. Anyway it seems like you are contradicting yourself here today. You say you're not generalizing. So what are you doing? You want answers then ask a man who will give you one. Problem solved. 🙂