Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »
StargazingMan · 46-50, M
I love confident women. But as you probably know, dear Raven, there are no pure types. Sometimes we are all a bit confident and next hour we feel a bit needy and clingy. Which is cool. Personally, I am attracted, like a bug to a light, to confident women. Women with personality. Yes, it is nice to have a powerful mix of emotional side, intelligence, a sexy side. A good mix. Even if we have a lot of flaws, we are not perfect and this is what and who we are. A woman who is confident, doesn't need to be rescued (even though sometimes the romantic notion of rescuing and saving is powerful enough to makes us forget that we are frail human beings and we are suckers for that special sweet sensation where we feel we were rescued and we are rescuing someone, but still you are confident enough to don't need to be saved at all, if that makes any sense). A woman is desirable despite her many flaws. We men have a ton of flaws. I don't feel, never felt, I was attracted to the "rescue me baby" type and was steered away from what I thought I wanted. A lot of women from different types and background crossed my path. Each one, with their own background, was attractive enough with their flaws. They were real. I love real women. I tend to gravitate more towards the strong personality type because we mesh really well with each other. But sometimes I was the rescuer and savior and still the personality meshed so well with mine that I forgot she needed to be rescued. Intelligence is a must because rescue me baby or confident women type wont last too long if I dont feel we make a mental click, a connection.
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@StargazingMan Well said and expressed..thanks for your comment:)

Fernie · F
I think many men still resist strong, confident, self-sufficient women because they feel something has been taken from them...power mostly...but then other men have evolved and appreciate those qualities in women
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@Fernie Yes, I do think there could be some truth in that. Thanks for commenting!
Heartlander · 80-89, M
Absolutely. For me at least. I tend to see the "rescuer" inclination as universal. That is, both men and women have rescue modes, and I find them admirable in both men and women.

I think the need for emotional support is likewise universal and genderless. While we may not feel a need to be rescued, we all need to feel accommodated, valued, accepted and admired a little, not in a flattering sense, but more like "I enjoy your company" sense.

All my loves and near-misses have been very self confident, with the self confidence being probably the major attraction. Even friends and brief encounters that leave me with a faster heartbeat are always confident.
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@Heartlander Thank you my friend. I always value your keen insight:)
Thatsright · 61-69, M
Only if the man has confidence. There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance.
Mirage · F
We really are on the same wave length. 😃I say that too!
Insecurity speaks the loudest because it feels it has something to prove.

But even a little doubt in a confident person can be good I think. Arrogance will always think it's right.
@ravenwind43
TJNewton · M
@Mirage Oh my gosh!!! I think you dont know what you are saying
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@Mirage Indeed. Even the most confident people are going to have their moments...part of human nature. I like the way you think!:)💜
Tracos · 51-55, M
Tracos · 51-55, M
I'll be happy to sit back and watch her kick ass
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@Tracos Excellent! I like that:) lol
Tracos · 51-55, M
It's a team thing ;)
JustJosh · M
I think it more depends on the guy specifically. I personally feel like I like a girl somewhere in the middle. Confident in herself and what she does but not so much that she feels the need to control me. I think it's an attractive attribute for a lady to be confident in herself though.
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@JustJosh Thoughtful comment, thanks!:)
Fernie · F
"emotional support?" Women get emotional support from other women for the most part..only the most evolved males seem to be able to emote themselves
SW-User
@Fernie you are too funny.
Fernie · F
@SW-User you are amused by my words? How revealing. Your troglodyte is showing
TheConstantGardener · 56-60, M
Prefer women who are self-assured. I'm not trying to rescue anyone or be anyone's hero, that kind of situation usually leads to asymmetrical relationships.
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@TheConstantGardener Thanks for your comment and yes I agree. When one is simply a sounding board for another it becomes therapist/patient not a relationship.:)
rfhh1959 · 61-69, M
The damsel in distress is fun short term but for me it grows thin quickly

Rather have a woman who knows her mind
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@rfhh1959 👍 I like that...thank for your comment 🙂
rfhh1959 · 61-69, M
@ravenwind43 You are most welcome
Flenflyys · 31-35, F
From my experience, yea people desire a confident partner usually. Unless they themselves have confidence issues.
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@Flenflyys Yes that makes sense, thanks for commenting:)
Mirage · F
Hmmm interesting. Seems some have different definitions for confident.
To me it just means feeling or showing confidence in ones own ability, self-assured.

I'm thinking it would be something a truly confident man would appreciate more...?
Fernie · F
@Mirage submissive my ass! This is how men got power over us in the first place. An S&M roleplay thing ok...but not just to make the male feel more....male
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@Fernie A more traditional type relationship doesn't have to be a negative or mean the woman is supressed either. :)
Mirage · F
Spot on. I like and respect a man that leads and it has nothing to do with oppression. A genuinely confident man won't oppress either. He will appreciate her in her own confidence. :-) @ravenwind43
daveal · 56-60, M
Absolutely yes. I want a secure partner, a friend that can give as well as receive support, a mate that knows what they want and isn't afraid to communicate it.
daveal · 56-60, M
It is gratifying to save a damsel in distress, but to fight along side a warrior princess is a much more appealing scenario.
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@daveal I like that, it's a great visual. :) Confidence should be quiet but strong, never cocky or high maintenance.
daveal · 56-60, M
Arrogance <> Confidence
SW-User
surely some do, surely some don't
hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M
Most confident women have mental issues that I don't want to deal with.
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@NosmoKing I was making the point that confident doesn't mean "bitch" but that to a lot of people it often does:)
hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M
@NosmoKing I agreed with her that confident women are not loud ball busting bitches. Can no one read anymore?
This comment is hidden. Show Comment
Peaches · F
I don't think they all want to "rescue" a woman. Many men don't want a clinging vine so to speak. I just posted a thought on that subject, haha!
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@Peaches No not all, but it does seem at times the inner rescuer comes out. My brother is a guy like this. He gets involved with women who need help but eventually he gets tired of helping and wants a more equal relationship which at that point it often ends.
SW-User
Many men thought a confident woman was an ideal partner because the men saw themselves as passive. These men were too naive to know that confidence is a farce.

Confidence in many ways is hiding something. I find people exude confidence when they are trying to gain control over something they don't have. In many ways their anxiety makes them feel out of control.

Being comfortable and in control is completely different. I now know a woman who can feel comfortable in many surroundings is much better than a "confident" woman.
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@SW-User To me you are describing partly what confidence is. That word seems to for many to describe egotism or that the woman is bossy. The word doesn't have negative connotations to me :)
Rocknrod · 61-69, M
I think it depends on circumstances. It can be good in some but bad in others
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@Rocknrod This post was never to imply that women "don't need a man", though I think it was taken that way. Confidence isn't about arrogance, but the ability to handle situations and have inner awareness of ones strength and abilities. A woman can't always be strong but it does seem at times some men gravitate to women who seem emotionally troubled due to an onward desire to rescue her. Thanks for your comment:)
Rocknrod · 61-69, M
@ravenwind43 What I meant confidence is good but not to the point of cockiness.
in10RjFox · M
Depends on how you have understood the word "confident".. for there is also the word "confide" in it ..
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@in10RjFox Very true and nice to point that out...thank you!:)
Subsumedpat · 36-40, M
yes some more than others
Subsumedpat · 36-40, M
some even like dominant women
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@Subsumedpat You are one of them, obviously 😬
Subsumedpat · 36-40, M
@ravenwind43 obviously
EnigmaticGeek · 61-69, M
I do like/want a confident woman.

Ideally, her talents will compliment mine, as I would want mine to complement hers. I want a woman who will be an asset to me, not a liability. I would want to be an asset to her as well. Bonus points for her if she wants a family, and knows how to argue her points in a civilized manner.
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@EnigmaticGeek Very nicely stated....thanks for reading!🙂
EnigmaticGeek · 61-69, M
@ravenwind43 Thank you for reading and commenting. :-)
Every woman I ever dated was self confident so yeah
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@BiasForAction Great...thanks for your comment:) Happy New Year!
This comment is hidden. Show Comment
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@NosmoKing Thanks for your colorful response....lol:)
This comment is hidden. Show Comment
therighttothink50 · 56-60, M
Different people have different wants, needs, desires and expectations. Everybody is different but in general most women want to be with men who are in charge and who are confident. It is a natural instinct for the majority of women.
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@therighttothink50 Yes...confidence isn't the same as cocky but it seems the two are equated that way:) I like an equal relationship but that is different for different people.:)
Fernie · F
@therighttothink50 Most women? Not the women I know! Women who are stuck in the 50's maybe. Please don't say "most" women because you don't KNOW most women and I won't say most males are pigs
Icarus16 · 51-55, M
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@Icarus16 Good for you!!!👍😁
coolboy86 · 36-40, M
im attracted to wounded flawed women cause im flawed
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@coolboy86 Very honesty and very truthful. All people tend to gravitate towards what we are comfortable with:)
coolboy86 · 36-40, M
i like confident women too but they have to be a good person and be really judgemental those people are hard to find
Zonuss · 41-45, M
Yes. Because confidence is self assuring. ☺
This comment is hidden. Show Comment
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
@NosmoKing I don't know if he is that way with everyone, but occasionally is with mine:)
TJNewton · M
@ravenwind43 Dont talk crap and if you dont like my answers block me

 
Post Comment