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Magicianzini · M
@Cigarguy It's not your fault and your parents were wrong to blame you.
Of what I've seen of life, she would have just died some other way.. maybe in a day or two, maybe three.. but she still wouldn't be here. Wishing these words are not too much or too strong for you.. but I've lived a lot of life, and this is what I've seen repeatedly, many times.
It's really not your fault... and you must forgive yourself. You are not the bringer of death. Death comes by its own accord.
Of what I've seen of life, she would have just died some other way.. maybe in a day or two, maybe three.. but she still wouldn't be here. Wishing these words are not too much or too strong for you.. but I've lived a lot of life, and this is what I've seen repeatedly, many times.
It's really not your fault... and you must forgive yourself. You are not the bringer of death. Death comes by its own accord.
I’m so deeply sorry for everything that was taken from you—the goodbye, the funeral, the chance to grieve her the way you should have been allowed to. No one should have had to wait this long to find their sister.
What you did for her matters more than words can say. You showed up when no one else had. You cleaned her resting place, you brought her favorite flowers, and you spoke the goodbye that was stolen from you for so long. That was an act of love, and love doesn’t have an expiration date.
Of course everything hurts right now. Of course you feel broken and numb all at once. That’s what happens when grief finally gets space to breathe after being locked away for years.
I’m proud of you for doing something that took so much courage, even though it shattered you. She was not forgotten—not by you. And she never will be.
Holding you in this. Your sister mattered. And so do you.
What you did for her matters more than words can say. You showed up when no one else had. You cleaned her resting place, you brought her favorite flowers, and you spoke the goodbye that was stolen from you for so long. That was an act of love, and love doesn’t have an expiration date.
Of course everything hurts right now. Of course you feel broken and numb all at once. That’s what happens when grief finally gets space to breathe after being locked away for years.
I’m proud of you for doing something that took so much courage, even though it shattered you. She was not forgotten—not by you. And she never will be.
Holding you in this. Your sister mattered. And so do you.
Took tremendous courage to make that visit. Be very proud of yourself. Feels like it will be a very important step on your path to healing. I think Spencer would want you to finally let go of the guilt, forgive yourself and live a happy life, the best way to honor her memory.
Cigarguy · 41-45, M
@OlderSometimesWiser it was a big step. I think I have a ways to on healing and moving on but I think she would be proud of me today. I hope so anyway. I almost lost it in the car and didn't go. I couldn't of done that with out Joel and my buddy. They helped me so much today
Barefooter25 · 46-50, M
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FreeorLonely · 51-55, F
moonlightlullaby · 46-50, F
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HowtoDestroyAngels · 46-50, M
Mamapolo2016 · F
Mamapolo2016 · F
@Cigarguy Yes, sir. Healing often hurts.
Cigarguy · 41-45, M
@Mamapolo2016 yes it does and it's something I never got to do years ago so I'm trying now to heal and remember the good times I had with her and not focus on that day
bijouxbroussard · F