Saying goodbye to Spencer

I never got to say goodbye to her
I never got to go to her funeral
I never got to go to her grave
I didn't even know where she was until now.

Seeing her grave was hard.
It was a simple stone saying her name the date and beloved daughter. That's it.

It's clear no one was visited her in a while earlier. So we cleaned out around the stone and I laid the flowers down that I got her. Different colors of tulips. They were her favorite.

Saying goodbye was the hardest thing I've ever done. I don't think I've cried like this before in my life. I hurt so much. Everything hurts right now. Everything is numb right now. This hurts so much

But I did it. I got to say goodbye to her

This sister of mine

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OlderSometimesWiser · F

Took tremendous courage to make that visit. Be very proud of yourself. Feels like it will be a very important step on your path to healing. I think Spencer would want you to finally let go of the guilt, forgive yourself and live a happy life, the best way to honor her memory.

Cigarguy · 41-45, M

@OlderSometimesWiser it was a big step. I think I have a ways to on healing and moving on but I think she would be proud of me today. I hope so anyway. I almost lost it in the car and didn't go. I couldn't of done that with out Joel and my buddy. They helped me so much today