There is definitely a lot of irrational thought that goes into this but

I cannot go out with someone for the sole purpose of checking if I will be romantically attracted to them or not.. That's awkward as hell... I need to feel attracted to them first before I go out.

Meeting anyone for the first time can be uncomfortable, so long ago I adopted the attitude of not thinking of it being a test to see if we were romantically/sexually compatible... sort of taking the whole sexual thing off the table. No expectations meant no disappointment and no nervousness.

I went on dates with new women with the one purpose in mind. To have a fun, enjoyable evening. Totally took the pressure off me and the result was that I had many, many fun dates, a few not so fun, and one where a young lady pulled out a checklist to see if I was compatible with her... yep, an actual written checklist!

It took a moment to find "her", but I had lots of stress free enjoyable evenings along the way.

I always found it more natural to get to know someone first, it's just the way modern dating is I think that changes that dynamic. It's not like we're naturally meeting people as much as we perhaps once did before the 2000s.

If you don't join activities or groups you're kinda stuck with who you meet at work or in your friend circles, and in my experience most people at my age are already couples when they come to hang out. Online as well but while I've met some fantastic special people, probability is that we're too far away anyway, I had to end a relationship with an extremely compatible person because of this and it sucked.

That's sensible. Stick to it.
Besides, there is no point in the term itself. Befriend people naturally and keep bonds if any, innocent yet fun based coz they, at least, last.

Understandable. For me it has always felt like being a cow "taken" to the market to find a proper inseminator. It's just way too awkward to arrange a meeting with someone with that clear purpose in mind - to see if another person is fuckable and if you're fuckable to them. Because let's be honest...there's no other way how dates were presented to me for my entire life. That's why I never see any meeting as a date. It's a meeting to find out whether we can be friends at all in the first place.
I never said I was normal. 😇

Being friends first is the best way to go about it. You don't know what someone is hiding or really like until you've known them for a period of time outside of being infatuated

Very understandable. We never really know and many of those types can be quite charming, successful and well liked.

Well, this almost restores my faith in dating. 😒

I hate dating.
I'd rather get to know a person first and see what naturally blossoms from there.

I feel you.

I prefer dating someone i have been friends with first. A lot of people hate dating friends because they don't want to risk relationships, but for me friends are the people i have already decided i like being around. I already have a bond. Whereas a stranger is just so unknown. They pose a bigger risk at a moment I am making myself most vulnerable.

I think that’s a good way to approach things though