This Pain is Killing Me

You can't avoid be hurt in life but if u don't harm no one the pain what u go through will help u grow as a person .
All of the self loathing or if u like the mental chatter comed in which feeds lies about yourself telling yourself your not good enough .
That's the pain . At the start of pain u be thinking your on your own and u be thinking you be lonely and all of the self pity emotions comes in but bare with it and you'll never feel lonely again .
You might never want to go back into a relationship after u come through the other side of your pain .
The trick is not to feed the mental chatter in your mind but when u stop feeding that what comes up inside of u is hurt feelings .
Everyone goes through it at some stage in there lives .
I had the mental chatter since i was 17 and i didn't have clue what it was about . Im 42 now and i ignores it most of the time and i try stop feeding it causr i know its all bull shit .
I have a religious belief about that and thats what keeps me going but u have to find something that more powerful than your mind to try hand things over to when the mental chatter comes .
I never tell people what to believe in cause it could make them angrier and what might work for me might not work for u , but i tell u this even in buddhism meditation masters they even talk about the mental chatter . Its a part of life

Pain eventually subsides. Sleepless nights get better. You never forget those that you truelly love or have loved.
I wish it was as simple as switching a switch or removing your emotion chip (Data TNG), but it is not. If it were I would have done so long ago.
Keep talking to others though and your pain will get better.

We usually only see our side and it hurts.
Some men are just jerks, that unfortunately, target the vulnerable.
You may need a councilor to help you set boundaries and see red flags or to possibly change something in yourself.
I am sorry for your pain; I understand, as I once had a tender heart with few boundaries or expectations.
But ,when I learned to not accept bad treatment and disrespect things got better.

I have been doing the same for 4 years. I havent gotten over him. It hurts as much as it always has. I try to pretend it doesnt.

Time is key, it will be tough but you will get thru it. 😇