This Pain is Killing Me

I've been asking myself if "Am I the problem?". You see, I just love someone but they tend to leave or hurt me. Yes there are reasons but why give up on me if all I ever want is to love them. Am I not enough that I deserve this?

This pain goes through my heart and soul. If I can only take off this pain, I've done it already. I hate this feeling. Why do we have to go through this? Is there any way we can switch off our emotion and go on with our life without feeling anything? Because if there is, please tell me. I need it.

Sleepless nights, my eyes are swollen, I don't even have the appetite to eat and my heart aches all the time. I wish this would be over now.

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Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

We usually only see our side and it hurts.
Some men are just jerks, that unfortunately, target the vulnerable.
You may need a councilor to help you set boundaries and see red flags or to possibly change something in yourself.
I am sorry for your pain; I understand, as I once had a tender heart with few boundaries or expectations.
But ,when I learned to not accept bad treatment and disrespect things got better.