This Pain is Killing Me

I've been asking myself if "Am I the problem?". You see, I just love someone but they tend to leave or hurt me. Yes there are reasons but why give up on me if all I ever want is to love them. Am I not enough that I deserve this?

This pain goes through my heart and soul. If I can only take off this pain, I've done it already. I hate this feeling. Why do we have to go through this? Is there any way we can switch off our emotion and go on with our life without feeling anything? Because if there is, please tell me. I need it.

Sleepless nights, my eyes are swollen, I don't even have the appetite to eat and my heart aches all the time. I wish this would be over now.

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riseofthemachine · 41-45, M

You can't avoid be hurt in life but if u don't harm no one the pain what u go through will help u grow as a person .
All of the self loathing or if u like the mental chatter comed in which feeds lies about yourself telling yourself your not good enough .
That's the pain . At the start of pain u be thinking your on your own and u be thinking you be lonely and all of the self pity emotions comes in but bare with it and you'll never feel lonely again .
You might never want to go back into a relationship after u come through the other side of your pain .
The trick is not to feed the mental chatter in your mind but when u stop feeding that what comes up inside of u is hurt feelings .
Everyone goes through it at some stage in there lives .
I had the mental chatter since i was 17 and i didn't have clue what it was about . Im 42 now and i ignores it most of the time and i try stop feeding it causr i know its all bull shit .
I have a religious belief about that and thats what keeps me going but u have to find something that more powerful than your mind to try hand things over to when the mental chatter comes .
I never tell people what to believe in cause it could make them angrier and what might work for me might not work for u , but i tell u this even in buddhism meditation masters they even talk about the mental chatter . Its a part of life