My husband

He's still burnt into my heart and my mind every day. I can remember what it felt like to hold him and to be held by him. I can visualise every part of his body, feel the texture of his skin and the way his muscles responded to my touch. I can hear the pitch and tone of his voice, feel the warmth of his body and smell his smell. It's like he's close enough for me to touch in my mind but distant enough that there is constant aching pain because it's not real. These things are only a memory. And I want to remember - but then I also want to forget. Or at least, it not hurt so bad when I do remember.