I lost myself in grief.

I can't see a pretty face on me anymore. I hate my white hair. I look so ugly in the mirror. No smile on my face. I can see a sad face in the mirror. I lost my sense of humour and confidence. I cry everyday.
I don't put on heavy makeup anymore because I lost my art creativity. I lost myself in grief.

However, I haven't lost my voice to sing. My voice can hit a high note especially singing Linkin Park songs where it is incredible for me because I was previously not able to sing high notes.
My vocal is getting better and better by practicing Teddy Swims songs.

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PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F

Sorry you're in this awful club too, I'm reaching out because I felt that way for a really long time. Almost a year in fact. I stopped caring about my appearance really. I felt that my husband wasn't here to see me so it didn't matter whether I was attractive or not. I lost any interest in sex and I also gained a huge amount in weight. It will be two years this August since my husband passed and I'm slowly getting my mojo back, I still have bad days and struggle especially at night time but I'm fighting to keep living because I know my husband wouldn't want me to give up. And I love Linkin Park, they have such a raw emotion to so many of their songs so you'll often find me belting them out. No surprise that a lot are about loss and grief. You should sing your heart out, whatever helps in the moment is good I think. It gets you through to the next day. Hugs to you lovely lady xx

Arrow17 · F

@PatientlyWaiting25 I lost interest for sexs as well.

PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F

@Arrow17 it will come back when you're ready to let it. Grief never disappears completely but I think with time, we learn to slowly build our lives around our loss so it no longer feels like it's the only thing that defines us.

EldritchFox · 41-45, F

Keep singing. Whatever creative outlet you have left, enjoy it. You will get through this.

Arrow17 · F

@EldritchFox Thank you.

SW-User

Once you find your voice it will not disappoint you. Keep up the throat and breath work. You might be surprised

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

It really hurts to lose someone you love, it takes so much time to feel brave enough to try and move forward

Arrow17 · F

@Justmeraeagain I don't know how to move forward. I wasn't born in this country. I am scared of living cost in this country without a job. My neighbour has a small kitchen changed entirely and it cost the couple £10000 including workmanship. They change the ceiling and floor as well.

Houses in my home town will cost me between £10000 - £60000 for 2 to 4 bedrooms. The renovation will not cost me £10000 for fitting a new kitchen. The kitchen and labour may cost £300-£500.

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@Arrow17 I was the same way in the beginning I didn't know how to move on.
If you can settle your mind down to take one day at a time ,one problem at a time, before moving on to the next and not worry about the future so much it does help.
I know at this time it probably feels almost impossible

Ferise1 · 46-50, M

Why did you lose your confidence?

Arrow17 · F

@Ferise1 I have been living in fear since my husband was in the hospital. I am scared of living cost here. My male neighbour is targeting me to be his girlfriend by sending a note to my door. I have to park my car 50 meters away from my flat so he can't see me in and out the house. My designated carpark is actually in front of his windows.

I am living in fear that I have to avoid men for unwanted attention after my husband died. My husband present was my protection. But he had turn to ashes. There isn't anybody can protect me anymore from the neighbour.

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