Docdon23 · M
Time. grief takes time. Sometimes it diminishes, sometimes not. My wife passed away over three years ago--the grief started while she was still alive but hospitalized after a stroke, but it took a year. I have friends who have lost spouses after long marriages, some adjust and move on, some never do and remain sad and depressed. Listening is the best thing you can do, and gentle comfort, helping them feel safe and loved.
samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
All that i can add is that as a practicing physician, i had many opportunities in which I had to give the bad news about the death of a loved one. I often sincerely cried with the survivors.
When meeting with them later, they often commented on how my show of empathy gave them strength. I am not saying to don't hold back on your feelings.
When meeting with them later, they often commented on how my show of empathy gave them strength. I am not saying to don't hold back on your feelings.
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PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F
There's nothing you can do other than just check in on her. Practical support is appreciated, make sure she eats. Don't ask "if there's anything I can do...." Just do it. 'Man jobs' if you are good at that stuff. I lost my husband suddenly and that is what I've appreciated most.
Renkon · M
@PatientlyWaiting25 Your words come from a place of real understanding. You’re right — I shouldn’t wait for her to ask; I should simply be there and do what’s needed. I plan to check on her often. The only thing I struggle with is how to handle the moments when she breaks down, especially when seeing us...her husband's close friends.
PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F
@Renkon just let her cry, it's needed and part of healing. Make her a cup of tea or coffee, if there's more than one of you. There's nothing you can do or say that will fix things. I've appreciated people sitting in the moment with me or just sharing a memory or that they miss him too. I like that my husband is remembered and that people will say his name. Worse is when people avoid saying his name because they don't want to upset me. Then I feel like he's being erased and he deserved to be remembered. She is blessed to have good friends around her who care xx
Just be there for her. Find out if she has any other help as far as procuring food goes, and maybe send her a nice meal every so often (even if it is just a takeaway or an extra portion from whatever you're eating). Sometimes, finding the desire to eat can be impossible after death, so having a ready made meal show up can be nice.
Renkon · M
@HootyTheNightOwl True. That’s very thoughtful.
ScreamingFox · 41-45, F
Renkon · M
@OlderSometimesWiser Thank you for the kind words
Achelois · F
I’m sorry for your loss, grief is love with no place to go…
Just be there for them.
❤🔥✨
Just be there for them.
❤🔥✨
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Renkon · M
@jshm2 Thank you for your honest advice. I understand what you mean — beyond offering words, we must make sure her practical needs and future are secure.
Both my friend and his wife works with our organization, so her job is safe. Their daughter is studying medicine in our college, and if she chooses, she has a job offer ready. Financially we can assume they are secure.
Still, at a time like this, nothing can truly ease the pain she is going through. We can only stand by her, support her in every way, and hope that time helps her heal.
Both my friend and his wife works with our organization, so her job is safe. Their daughter is studying medicine in our college, and if she chooses, she has a job offer ready. Financially we can assume they are secure.
Still, at a time like this, nothing can truly ease the pain she is going through. We can only stand by her, support her in every way, and hope that time helps her heal.
