Is grief the price of love, or is it the proof that love was real?

A close friend of mine passed away in an accident. His wife is inconsolable, completely shattered by the loss. I don’t know what words can truly comfort her. All I can do is stay by her side and let her know she isn’t alone. Beyond that, I’m unsure what else I can do.

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PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F

There's nothing you can do other than just check in on her. Practical support is appreciated, make sure she eats. Don't ask "if there's anything I can do...." Just do it. 'Man jobs' if you are good at that stuff. I lost my husband suddenly and that is what I've appreciated most.

Renkon · M

@PatientlyWaiting25 Your words come from a place of real understanding. You’re right — I shouldn’t wait for her to ask; I should simply be there and do what’s needed. I plan to check on her often. The only thing I struggle with is how to handle the moments when she breaks down, especially when seeing us...her husband's close friends.

PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F

@Renkon just let her cry, it's needed and part of healing. Make her a cup of tea or coffee, if there's more than one of you. There's nothing you can do or say that will fix things. I've appreciated people sitting in the moment with me or just sharing a memory or that they miss him too. I like that my husband is remembered and that people will say his name. Worse is when people avoid saying his name because they don't want to upset me. Then I feel like he's being erased and he deserved to be remembered. She is blessed to have good friends around her who care xx