I'm not quite sure why but in the summer I'm always depressed and anxious. Anyone else feel like this?

Ever since I was a teenager, I would always fear my own mortality. Summer makes me reflect on my life and worry about what i missed out on, what i never got to experience, what i could've done differently in my life.

Now as an adult, i still feel this way. Even with a good job, a roof over my head, nothing i do helps with this feeling of impending doom i feel. I fear that tomorrow could be my last day, even when i know im perfectly healthy.

I make sure the doors are shut and the windows as well. Im not a huge fan of open windows, which is why i prefer to use an AC unit.

Maybe i am just crazy. But even when i go on a trip, read a book, listen to the radio or watch TV, after those activities are done i lie in bed with all of this anxiety running through my head.

But in the spring fall and winter I feel fine and sleep with no problems. I dont feel this way at all in those months. In the winter, i can go out and shovel at 2 AM and not be afraid. But in the summer, i just cant do it for some reason. I always worry for no reason at all.

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CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

No, it almost completely switched in me. I used to be depressed at the beginning of the summer when I was still in school because I knew I had nobody to do all the fun activities with, traveling, vacations, camping or even have a drink in the outdoor bar/restaurant on a nice warm evening. And I loved winters when nobody was outside so I could go out and be alone or be wrapped in a coat so I didn't feel too exposed, hidden in fog and snow etc. i truly used to romanticize winter a lot before but now it doesn't mean all that much to me anymore.

Now I actually recover in summer because my body doesn't tolerate cold weather very well anymore. I feel various pains and also get depressed very easily when it's cold. In summer I care less because I feel better both physically and mentally. The sun exposure literally heals me. I don't care about being alone that much anymore and I'm inspired to do my hobbies much more than in winter, even if alone.

I start feeling depressed and empty again when the signs of the end of summer come.

LinuxBreaksWindows · 26-30, M

@CrazyMusicLover i honestly love indoor activities, so i probably feel conflicted between enjoying the nice weather and staying inside.

CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

@LinuxBreaksWindows I used to but since I work from home, I need more outdoor activities than anytime before.

DoubleRings · 51-55, F

I don’t work during the summer and I can relate somewhat. Even though I have tons of time I feel like I can’t do anything or get started. I don’t wanna read a book bc I feel like I should be doing something else more important but I can’t decide what it is. So I don’t get started on anything then I spend lot of the time just observing the day pass by.

I used to be much more negative during summer in the past bc I was depressed and unhappy. When the sun was shining everyone seemed like they had people to be with and things to do but at the time my whole life was down the toilet and I was very much alone. I hated the summer and prayed for rain so that I wouldn’t feel different than anyone else or that I was missing out on something. I almost committed to living my waking hours at night so I could sleep by day and ignore the happy weather time. Misery does indeed love company…. Or at least not to be forgotten about…

itsok · 31-35, F

This sounds like it may be seasonal affective disorder. It’s not just a winter thing. Some people have it during summer instead. Have you talked to anyone about it?

LinuxBreaksWindows · 26-30, M

@itsok No one. My family knew since i used to never go outside after dark. I'm a little better now. I even do amateur astronomy, so i have to be outside at night for that.

riseofthemachine · 41-45, M

Hello my friend .
What happens in the summer why I think your like that is cause your mind is in the dark , that's why you prefer winter and spring fall because your mind is the dark and why you get that way in the summer is that bright nights and long days when your in the dark the mind can't handle the light . It's a biological clock in your body that's wrong so you can't handle the light .
That's where the anxiety comes from cause it's scary to come into the light in your mind .
Your mind will get very fuzzy when the summer comes and your the worst part of it all is that your trying to understand it when you shouldn't

jehova · 36-40, M

I feel it too. Summer is when the world is at its height of renewal. As such i sense how out of place i am in my current compared to where i might have been. In summer many lifepaths are congruent. But the one we are on in the prezent is the one that all the otherz collide with. Thus i feel the internal conflict too.

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