I've struggled with jealousy

I used to get jealous of the attention my friends or girls would get. Being online did not help this. It's always been a deep seated issue I consciously push down as a ridiculous feeling. But even now, I feel the attention of my work, my writings online especially will stay unread or disconnected. I will stay unappreciated and worst of all, I've grown so numb to it that even positive reinforcement to me, I can't feel anything from it because I can't trust it. I am so used to being invalidated that the mechanism by which I can feel validation is itself broken.

Anyway. That's it. I've struggled with jealousy and will keep suffering from jealousy.

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MorbidCynic · F

Have you considered therapy or talking to a psychiatrist? Even without that, there are workbooks that can help. It may sound stupid but I have one for my PTSD that helps because it’s very scientific and gets into the “why” of why my brain reacts the way it does. It’s worth looking into. It’s never too late to start making baby steps for greater change. Even the smallest step can eventually lead to a complete 180 in behavior.

twistedrope · 26-30, M

@MorbidCynic I have received help from a professional. This is just how I feel. A raw emotion from my brain.

bugeye · 26-30, F

I dont think jealousy is inherently a bad thing. It depends on how you act on it. It can fuel you into self improvment,

twistedrope · 26-30, M

@bugeye That sounds like an unpleasant motivation to learn

bugeye · 26-30, F

@twistedrope if you examine why you feel jealous about it can help you find where you find yourself lacking. then you can work to better yourself that way.

Heavenlywarrior · 36-40, M

Build confidence in your self , reprogram your mind.

twistedrope · 26-30, M

@Heavenlywarrior I'm not a robot nor do I need to be told what to do.

Heavenlywarrior · 36-40, M

@twistedrope ok

teachmetiger210503 · 36-40, M

It's a matter of time it will go away.. just don't give too much damn. Attention by the way you will come to know that it is not something worth looking for .. just work on your stuff ,be yourself the rest will just follow. Calm down .. don't panic 😆

looping · 18-21

yeah i'm in a similar spot. jealousy is pretty much consuming my life.

twistedrope · 26-30, M

@looping I'm really sorry to hear that. Mines almost like a feeling of dead inside. Learning helps calm me down a bit. How about you? Anything interesting to calm you down?

looping · 18-21

@twistedrope i unfortunately have no coping mechanisms.

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twistedrope · 26-30, M

@OlderSometimesWiser I brought up examples that trigger the feeling. SW and a poetry website do trigger it a bit. But it's something from when I was a kid and had sisters who got all the attention and other things.

OlderSometimesWiser · F

@twistedrope Yes, I didn’t expect that SW was the main source of the issue but if it triggers it, this might not be the healthiest place for you. You kinda need to have thick skin around here.

twistedrope · 26-30, M

@OlderSometimesWiser Yeah I ain't gonna restrict my activities for it. It's an unpleasant feeling but I like being here somewhat.

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