I've struggled with jealousy

I used to get jealous of the attention my friends or girls would get. Being online did not help this. It's always been a deep seated issue I consciously push down as a ridiculous feeling. But even now, I feel the attention of my work, my writings online especially will stay unread or disconnected. I will stay unappreciated and worst of all, I've grown so numb to it that even positive reinforcement to me, I can't feel anything from it because I can't trust it. I am so used to being invalidated that the mechanism by which I can feel validation is itself broken.

Anyway. That's it. I've struggled with jealousy and will keep suffering from jealousy.