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This post is going to get all kinds of flags

So for the past 2+ months (I think it's two months, but it may have been longer and I just don't remember) I've been incredibly withdrawn, because I've been struggling with suicidal depression so a magnitude which has left be barely able to function at any level beyond the absolute minimum. I'm not a risk to myself, so please don't worry. I think I'm coming out the other side right now - which I said a little while ago, but that turned out to be a bubble, and today this time felt like a bubble that had burst too. I still feel like absolute shit, but I can feel things other than a desire to be dead now so hopefully it'll stick.

I still feel like a burden and like I'm just in the way of everyone else's lives and taking up space and empty, but it's not as all-consuming as it was which is definitely a step up.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
You are not a burden..you are a miraculous piece of this universe just in being a Human Being🦋 You have wants and likes just like anyone else and deserve to be here. I just read a book that truly helped me because I often feel I don't deserve to take up space or say my views to people etc. It was called "Untamed" by Glennon Doyle. She says we need to stand in our humanity and take up space!!! To say what we need or feel...to have all our emotions and KNOW WE HAVE A RIGHT TO ALL OF THEM. It was a great book. You got this Dan and we are here for you. 🌞🐞
elafina · 36-40, F
@Coralmist this is such a beautiful message for Dan and for the rest of us.. I'll add that to my reading list and hopefully I'll get to it once timing is right..
caccoon · 36-40
Depression is so debilitating. I am so sorry you're struggling so much. 😣 It just sucks the joy out of everything.

I am glad to hear you're slowly coming out the other side. Keep yourself as comfortable as possible, paint when you can, and remember you deserve to feel okay 🤗

You will get there 💙
KiwiDan · 31-35, M
@caccoon 🤗
Somebody shared a resource number on twitter today asking that we repost if anyone needed it.
I think they are available to just listen, not only in times of crisis.
I can share it/post it if need be.
Just sayin.

All the best to you. So thankful you might be seeing some light...that's a step up at least.
KiwiDan · 31-35, M
assemblingaknob · 26-30, F
Have you considered therapy? I know that sounds like a weird question. But I understand your situation, and I see that you need a rewiring of your thinking process. And that's okay. Our lives have impacted us in different ways. And many times it requires a trained coach to help us detangle the mess inside our heads. Especially the way we think about ourselves. It majorly impacts the way we present ourselves.
I'm trying to work on it too.
KiwiDan · 31-35, M
@assemblingaknob I've tried it before, and unfortunately it's 1) way more expensive than I can afford, and 2) something I've had extremely limited luck with in the past.
MellyMel22 · F
[i][c=BF0080]I hope things change for you soon and that you can see things in a better light 🤍[/c][/i]
KiwiDan · 31-35, M
@MellyMel22 Thanks
Dethmoore · 31-35, M
Everything can be a burden. Your death can even be a burden, have you ever thought of that? Your family might miss you. You might traumatize them if you’re gone. You have things to live for.
Maybe you should see your doctor, too... some therapy might help you through it a bit easier.
KiwiDan · 31-35, M
@HootyTheNightOwl I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow
Scribbles · 36-40, F
🤗wishing you much strength and love.
KiwiDan · 31-35, M
@Scribbles Thanks 🤗
Scribbles · 36-40, F
@KiwiDan 🤗
I hope you start to feel better
KiwiDan · 31-35, M
uncalled4 · 56-60, M
Keep stepping up. Should you have a setback, know that it's temporary.

What a weird thing our brains are!
KiwiDan · 31-35, M
@uncalled4 I'm doing what I can
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
I hope things start to improve. Have you talked with your doctor? Do you have a therapist?
KiwiDan · 31-35, M
@iamonfire696 I talked to my doctor today. He's going to refer me to the mental health team there about my suicidal thoughts.
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
@KiwiDan I am so glad you have taken this step. Thats really big and I hope it’s very helpful for you 💜.

 
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