why do some men not initiate

@DidIHurtYourFeelings: I get that his actions are making you feel a certain way, and that's something you're perfectly entitled to, but when you talk about it...make it about him.

Starting a conversation by telling him how he's hurting you is akin to saying he's doing something wrong. If you want him to open up he needs to be comfortable doing that, he needs to feel like you're listening to how he's feeling, and that you're interested in what it is that's going on in his head that is causing his ennui.

Reading this back it almost comes across like I'm saying *slap* "Hush woman! Your feelings don't matter, men are more important!" but I promise you my advice would be exactly the same if the gender roles were reversed.

@ChasingBrainBros: I promise you I have tried everything to come off as loving and concerned. I almost feel like he has some shame about sex. I know when we first started dating he would NEVER want sex and I ended up finding porn and I flipped it. Because how can he not want to come to me but then I found out he was looking at porn. I kicked him out and said it was a no go. Now the porn has been out and he has now never rejected sex, but I am still the one asking. I don't feel like I'm ugly or not good enough and what he was looking at well those prostitutes have nothing on me. So I am very confused cause I think something must be wrong

@DidIHurtYourFeelings: I hope for both your sakes that you work it all out. Best wishes.

That's how it is for me. He will say yes, but only if I go to him. He won't spontaneously kiss me or touch me. It's annoying and hurtful and he's younger then me

Has this been his personality since the beginning of your relationship?@DidIHurtYourFeelings:

@BellaLocura: yes. He wasn't very sexual or had any real relationship before me. He was also a alcoholic before we met and never even had sober sex which I found odd. But I refused to sleep with him drunk and changed him.

@DidIHurtYourFeelings: I would say that confidence is a large issue for my husband even after 16 years. Some people just have a tough time building it up and feeling secure with themselves.

Yeah someone people just are like that naturally not much you can do about that tho

@BellaLocura: :( well I wish it would change. I mean I can't even get him to try anything I was very adventurous before him and now I'm kind of screwed because he won't even get off his back. I feel like a man lol

What did he say about it? @DidIHurtYourFeelings:

@Hush92: he doesn't say much. I think he might be embarrassed or just flat out lazy

Hmmm yeah you need to get him to open up about it. Maybe try couples counseling! That can be good for figuring out these things. @DidIHurtYourFeelings:

To be the one to initiate sex. To start. She has to go to him for it. He doesn't come to her.

Dec. 11/16
4:05 am

That's nice

I'm anti porn and would never compare him to another man. He had a porn problem and drinking problem. He screwed himself

@DidIHurtYourFeelings: Yeah he needs to cut that out and alcohol too

I don't think he's doing himself cause he does always say yes to sex. And we're never apart. But I am thinking maybe low t