why do some men not initiate

It's really frustrating. I been with my husband for four years and I can literally count on one hand how many times he's initiated. I can't help but feel a little unhappy. I have never experienced this with anyone. How do I deal with this because I am getting really fed up with my marriage.

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BellaLocura · 51-55, F

I've been with my husband 16 years, same situation. If anything is going to happen, I am the initiator nine times out of ten. Just the way it is...he does have a drive, although not nearly as high as mine. So basically, I have no advice for you.

DidIHurtYourFeelings · F

That's how it is for me. He will say yes, but only if I go to him. He won't spontaneously kiss me or touch me. It's annoying and hurtful and he's younger then me

BellaLocura · 51-55, F

Has this been his personality since the beginning of your relationship?@DidIHurtYourFeelings:

DidIHurtYourFeelings · F

@BellaLocura: yes. He wasn't very sexual or had any real relationship before me. He was also a alcoholic before we met and never even had sober sex which I found odd. But I refused to sleep with him drunk and changed him.