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What tells you if a person is trustworthy or not?

What tells you whether a person is trustworthy or not the first time you meet them?
What approach do you use to know if that person can be trusted?
rosyhills · 31-35, F
When they do what they say they are gonna do.
When they show up to meet me on time .
When they are gonna be late or can't make it , they say so.

Observing how they treat others
WhateverWorks · 36-40
@Renkon well, work in the sense that being a reliable person takes consistent effort and regular use of your executive functioning skills. Good communication takes effort. On occasion, it can be work to make ann ethical decision in a complicated situation.
Renkon · 41-45, M
@WhateverWorks That's true.
SW-User
@rosyhills That last one "observing how they treat others" is so true.
I feel you are asking in curiosity, philosophically, but if they were to ask this question too much I wouldn't trust them (you). If they never asked me to trust them, I'm not sure if I could trust without either. Any time I have trusted, it's been based upon my intuition, and even though I have things I want to trust upon, it's been broken before and without explaining in turn I learned I trusted them more.
@Renkon Years ago.... The harsher reality would be not letting her be who she is... (not going to detail relationship parts), as I fell in love with *her*.... and not some artifice of what we demand of another.
Renkon · 41-45, M
@thewindupbirdchronicles Hmm...you moved on, I guess, but with a harsh lesson.
@Renkon Hardly, but I see where you are imposing moral lessons..
in10RjFox · M
Firstly trusting arises only if there is going to be some relationship or business with that person. If I need to trust, then I will observe how they present themselves and how they respect values, their choice of words and whether they are trying to act trustworthy to achieve something. Then I will test their patience by asking more questions or posing what if situations to see how they respond. Those untrustworthy shall respond impatiently or act as if they are the best. And some go on the defence by saying how they don't trust others.
in10RjFox · M
@Renkon you don't try it for you become one.

It's a disposition, as to how we conduct ourselves when we meet and interact with people be wherever and whatever situation.
Renkon · 41-45, M
@in10RjFox You have to be truthful within yourself to project trust, isn't it so?
in10RjFox · M
@Renkon yup. We have to be trustworthy and be reliable to ourselves as it's we who let ourselves down when we take a leap. Situation could be we take a leap trusting the other or other takes a leap towards us trusting us, or we partner with someone and take a leap like bungee ..
SW-User
Sometimes you can't know at first meeting. There are psychopaths who can charm anyone initially. As you get to know them, warning signs include: excessive bragging, hate speech, overly rude, aggressive talk or behavior, love of violence or love of talking about violence, pushy or controlling behavior -- including people who try to force you into accepting help (always beware of this one).
Carissimi · F
You can’t know on first meeting. You can’t know until time passes, and you see how trustworthy they are in different scenarios. Trust must be earned, not freely given. Only a fool would trust someone they don’t know well.
Renkon · 41-45, M
@Carissimi Won't there be someindication that a person 'might' be trustworthy? Like a slight hint.
Carissimi · F
No! Absolutely not. There are plenty of charming people out there with the gift of manipulation. Trust that person at your peril. @Renkon
Renkon · 41-45, M
@Carissimi So you have to let their actions speak, right? How long will it take for you to know?
Jonjdw · 51-55, M
What kind of stuff usually takes time. But sometimes you can get a feeling about somebody by just the way they carry themselves. And the way they talk.
Renkon · 41-45, M
@Jonjdw An hunch?
Jonjdw · 51-55, M
@Renkon I think it’s more than a hunch. But yes
Ducky · 31-35, F
Nothing. I don't trust people.
in10RjFox · M
@Renkon there are many such people who just do not know how to deal with people. They invariably pounce or jump on by assuming (blind trust) and expect the other to withstand and if they fall, they blame the other as untrustworthy.
Renkon · 41-45, M
@in10RjFox It means we have to keep our guard up and be cautious all the time. A sad state of the society, I guess.
in10RjFox · M
@Renkon not consciously but subconsciously. Sad state has been created by many staying gaurd and shunning advances of people who approach. Many just hurt people unnecessarily by acting too smart. Thus many we see are in an irate state.
deadgerbil · 26-30
If they can't keep their word or have a history of stealing from people etc
GuyWithOpinions · 31-35, M
Trust them with something small and see how they handle it. Work your way up from there
being · 36-40, F
If I feel secure around them, heard, respected and a general feeling of balance, not excess things, like praise or criticism or gossip.
If they either open too much or share nothing, that's also not someone I'd trust.
Renkon · 41-45, M
@being Areyou sayingthat 'balance' and composurecan be an earlysign of trustworthiness? What if the individual presents themselves in those ways? Can we tell whether the way they behave is genuine?
being · 36-40, F
@Renkon we cannot, no. We can try to grasp with our feeling what's underlying the behaviour, but sometimes it can work falsely
Renkon · 41-45, M
@being I hope that there is someone whom you met that earned your trust over time. In that case, what was the moment that earned your trust. Not asking for personal details, but the action that made you say, this person can be trusted.
SW-User
Time and lots of time
robertsnj · 56-60, M
How they react to my animals
White lies or lack white lies in day to day interactions. which include exaggerations
Do they talk crap about others in front of me.
Their question to answer ratio (if no or low questions red flag)
smiler2012 · 56-60
@Renkon 🤔no certainly not i would never trust a stranger on the first time i meet them.i need to get too know them first and see how they tick first never go on first appearances i say .
They shouldn't Yawn even once.
🥱
Renkon · 41-45, M
@Lyfis2live Fair enough. If we can manage, it's ok.
@Renkon btw, my joke fell flat. But it's routine!
Renkon · 41-45, M
@Lyfis2live What do you mean?
Nebula · 41-45, F
Look for them shifty eyes
Nebula · 41-45, F
@Renkon yeah, shifty eyes
Nebula · 41-45, F
Renkon · 41-45, M
@Nebula Will do 😃
solitaire · 41-45, F
Their actions vs their words. Do they align?
SW-User
It takes me time.
NinaTina · 26-30, F
Renkon · 41-45, M
@NinaTina 😃does it work?
@NinaTina he picks it up .and says hay miss I need your phone no, home address car keys credit card no, to give you your five dollars back,
Renaci · 36-40
Trick question. There is no such person.
Renkon · 41-45, M
@NativePortlander1970 I was thinking the same. Has it worked for you anytime?
@Renkon Many times
Renkon · 41-45, M
@NativePortlander1970 @NativePortlander1970 Hmm.... if it works, it works. It's good.
I don't find it possible the first time of meeting. You need to know them really well and know their character.

 
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