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Why do I want a man special friend although I only want it to be platonic?

If I just want platonic friends they could be man or woman. But I specifically seek men. I do also want women friends but they seem uninterested. You know busy or whatever.
I’m just so dam lonely. I feel like asking everyone I meet … will you be my friend? Lol I feel pathetic. Where are my friends? 😢

Maybe I even can be in a romance someday but there has to be a real friendship first.

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Stuffy · 61-69, F

I guess the answer to my original question is that I’m used to having a man in my life and he’s gone. And because it’s a customary thing to feel more socially adapted to have the other gender with me as someone to be protective. Someone to look out for me or even help pay my way if I am short. But no one will do that unless your a child or sex partner.
I want a dad but the way people talk about that these days 🤦‍♀️

ShadowWorker · 61-69, F

@Stuffy is your home big enough to get a roommate? ... just a thought.

Stuffy · 61-69, F

@ShadowWorker Thanks I’m between two places, one big and empty I’m in right now but gradually moving into a place with 4 others so hopefully I’ll feel less lonely but we’ll see

Carissimi · F

I’d love a male platonic friend, but I doubt I ever will. Men want sex for the most part. For years, I’ve heard men and women talk about their opposite sex platonic friends, but I’ve never come across one.

Stuffy · 61-69, F

@Carissimi Thank you. A man would rather be alone than with a woman who doesn’t want sex. What’s the difference - he can still go to his room to do his thing 😂

novaguy2u · 70-79, M

@Carissimi well, I'm one. I would like a sexual partner but I have a platonic relationship. Sometimes you can't have everything you want.

Carissimi · F

You have a platonic relationship with someone you want sex with, or you have a platonic friendship with someone you don’t want sex with? There is a difference. @novaguy2u

stound

perhaps there are certain aspects of interactions with males that you don't feel like you do, or possibly can get from female people?

it seems like everyone is very lonely and more than a bit scarred by everything these days.

Disguised · 56-60, M

The right person when the time is right.
Will catch your gaze but don't take flight.
Smile nice and chat with ease.
Not all us guys are full of sleaze.

Stuffy · 61-69, F

@Disguised ok guy behind a trench coat 🧥 lol 😆

BackyardShaman · 61-69, M

It’s understandable, totally. One thing I’d say that could help you find platonic people to spend time with is to seek out groups with common interests, such as maybe you love to cook, or love gardening, love to read, love art, book sales, yard sales, or other things. That’s a good way to break the ice.

Stuffy · 61-69, F

@BackyardShaman yes, I believe your right, I’m working on that. Hasn’t paid off yet

BackyardShaman · 61-69, M

@Stuffy and it takes a lot of time I know it’s rough.

in10RjFox · M

See how difficult it is to even have online friends in such a manner. For the age group you are in, most of them are in some old age care or just live within their house after ending their outgoing life.

But don't deprive the friend your love and comfort.. though not sexually active, Just holding hands, cuddles can be your attraction for the person crossing your life. All the best.

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in10RjFox · M

@Luckylu this is exactly what I said that women singled in life after their prime go through and that's what I meant the robe as metaphor. The upbringing becomes part of the basic instinct.

I could not think of a word for molest in a lighter way just so women just let down their sensitivity gaurd.

To overcome this I have to not care what others think of me.

Yes. That's what preparing the mind first is to answer who am I living for, Who is there to care for me , why not just date and breakup as and when, why not invite some trouble in life so there is someone calling atleast to yell ?

cannot do as you suggest. I’m just not wired that way.

Check if it's time to rewire. What's the use of old worn-out wires !

We have all gone through that jump in life right from childhood.. learning to cycle, diving into water and even sex the first time. So it's just another phase. Else we remain being the wimp not bothered by any and not bothering any.

It's just being proactive like men .. and not wait for men to approach traditionally. Why not just talk to a stranger and say .. Hi .. you looking good or Your shirt is cool ..

Ever seen the reaction of guys ? So just make the difference.

Or why not trouble some old couple as if to snatch the man . Maybe their life will become active as compared to the sedentary lifestyle they may be in.

Stuffy · 61-69, F

@Luckylu I do not want to encourage further replies from this in10rjfox. Seems pointless. Thinking he needs to tell us what is best for us and what we Should do. Rather than listening. 👎🏻

in10RjFox · M

@Stuffy sure.. it's not my problem anyway. What's the use of listening to problem without working a way out. No use complaining or brooding over a situation.

PhilDeep · 51-55, M

Recently someone I know and trust mentioned loneliness being an epidemic. I believe them. I have often heard women say men make better friends to them than other women. I have also heard many, many times that men pretend to want only friendship when it's actually sex they're after. Any friendships I have with women in real life tend to be formal and distant, more like acquaintances.

SW-User

I get it. I feel pretty pathetic too.

looking4thesun · M

As we get older our friends seem to disappear or die. sad but true. We should always be open to new relationships.

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looking4thesun · M

@Stuffy we all in the long run have control over ourselves.

Stuffy · 61-69, F

@looking4thesun I chose not to argue about that.

looking4thesun · M

@Stuffy it's all good.

novaguy2u · 70-79, M

It's not unusual to want a platonic friend later in life. I'm sorry to hear that you've had no luck in finding one.

Stuffy · 61-69, F

@novaguy2u well I’mOnly just divorced so, maybe with a little looking

SW-User

Totally understand what you are looking for. Can platonic friends give each other massages

Stuffy · 61-69, F

@SW-User massage should be taught in grade school: Everyone gets free professional massage from friends AND family

SW-User

@Stuffy totally agree 😄

Houdini · 56-60, M

I would be your friend but you would probably kill me after a week or two

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Houdini · 56-60, M

@Stuffy you got me on that one lol 😂

Stuffy · 61-69, F

One fantasy that would be nice to come true is finding someone who could just take my x’s place in some ways. We could pretend we been married all those years and had those happy memories- I would fill in the details of the times I loved best. And vise verse I could pretend to be your lost love. (However keeping in mind that wear my relationship ended off was with me not wanting any more sex as it was). It’s the comforting feeling of continuity And assumption of staying together. No worry about being left And alone.

Dez580 · 61-69, M

i have several female friends who are all just platoinc, others think that there must be more to our relationship as many are very attractive. Men and women can form close relationships based on friendship and shared interest without the need for romance or sex

Montanaman · M

👍❤️This!

Montanaman · M

Hello. 👍🤗😊

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M

I have heard it said you make friends by being a friend..I dont know how that will work for you...😷

Stuffy · 61-69, F

@whowasthatmaskedman what is that supposed to mean. Like I don’t know how to be a friend? Maybe you didn’t mean it that way.
Yes I offer friendship, I put my self out there, in listen, I support, etc.