I’ve been lying to my boyfriend of 7 months about being a college graduate I’ve been lying...

Ynotisay · M

What you wrote in this is what you need to say to him. And if he is an incredible person, he'll understand why you said it initially and, moreover, will recognize that you're an honest person with a moral compass.
That said...don't lie again. To him or anyone. There's other ways to handle situations. Lying is always wrong. It's better to stay silent. Good luck.

VomitingWords

***Update***

Thank you to everyone who provided words of encouragement. I confessed my truth to him last night and it was embarrassing for sure but he didn’t make a big deal out of it. As always, he expressed kindness and reassured me that my having a degree or in this case, no degree would not change his feelings toward me as he knows me well enough to love me as a person. “You’re my girl, and you can tell me anything.” He followed by emphasizing that we are each on a different journey and success isn’t defined by a certificate, money or belongings but instead, by the love we give and are given.

I don’t know what I did to deserve this man but my God, he is a gift.

DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F

Lies just dig the hole deeper. Come clean and be ready for him to end the relationship. Learn from this and don't do it again.

DrWatson · 70-79, M

I understand the temptation to lie in this way, but of course the longer you let the lie persist, the worse things will go. It sounds as if you realize that.

So, I am imagining myself in his position. If someone I were dating were to confess having lied in this way, and if she and I had been getting along fine, my first reaction would be to ask, "why?" Why did you think you needed to do that? And I would ask with the intention of having an honest, deep conversation about how she sees herself, and how she sees me. (did she think I could not accept her as she is?)

Also, if she had also lied about being a virgin, I would ask whether there is anything else she has been lying about. (In your case, if there is, I think it is best to get it all on the table at once!)

Pfuzylogic · M

Fear can get the best of all of us. Since he is still with you then he must find you intelligent or he would have investigated it himself.
Your first confession was impressive; whatever his reaction was to that will probably be the same for this second confession.
I find you quite capable to take on this challenge for integrity.

dirge

it's probably unhelpful to point out, but the longer you let things sit, the worse it's going to be and if you don't bring it up yourself, it's going to be very difficult for him to be able to trust you in many other aspects.

either way, good luck.

sarahcupcake · 36-40, F

I really feel for you because that stuff must be kind of eating away at you inside. I really hope you can find the courage to put the record straight. Please may I say that if you can, then you can consider yourself to be both brave and proper. I'm sure it's much harder to admit to fibbing than it would have been to say the truth in the first place.

Also please be kind to yourself. None of us are perfect. I am sending you a hug x

SomeMichGuy · M

I think you need to love yourself first; looking to get your sense of worth from others gives them way too much power and gives you way too much stress.

But definitely talk with him and put all the cards on the table.

deadgerbil · 26-30, M

One lie after another. All I know is that you can't be mad at him if he questions you about other areas of your life. You brought any drama onto yourself

black4white · 56-60, M

The problem is he is going to ask what else have you lied about? Because as of right now you are telling lies about things that truly don’t matter and that alone is concerning…
It’s best for you to step up and stop acting childish in that manner especially if this is someone you genuinely care about.
You know when people say I am tired of playing games or don’t like those that play games well this is that.
Good luck and I wish you the best and 2 last words…Just Stop 😁👍🏿

DailyFlash · 56-60, M

Coming clean might be a bonding moment when you have a moment of vulnerability and admit a short coming. How he reacts will speak volumes as to what to expect from him when times get tough.

Nanori · F

This is funny

SW-User

Just be honest with him.

Degrees rarely lead directly to jobs anyway. And have nothing to do with relationships.

Masters are just hobbies.

Jenny1234 · 56-60, F

You already know you shouldn’t have done that but you now need to come clean and tell him the truth and accept the consequences

Mudkip · 31-35, M

As corny as it may sound, honesty is the best policy. You should've told him when you met him. You're gonna have to eventually, the sooner the better.

GerOttman · 61-69, M

I think you're setting your sights too low. Stop with the small time lies and go big! You're descended from the queen of Spain, you invented the electron, you own drilling rights on the Moon... Seriously, you'll find it easier to be truthful about minor things if you focus on bigger game! Who knows, if you get really good, you can run for political office...

ArtieKat · M

I'm with those who recommended you confess like in this post.

Jimbo7 · M

Just tell him the truth ,you were trying to impress him ,if hes not flattered by that he doesn't deserve you.

HannibalMontanimal · 26-30, M

Well he will find out sooner or later lol

Convivial · 26-30, F

It always ends badly... Maybe use it instead as a catalyst for change ...

meJess · F

It’s a popular lie, the fire chief in Manchester and 2 European ministers have done the same.

HappyCamper74 · M

Sounds like you have a real problem in being truthful and are very insecure in yourself. You have created a relationship based on lies. Unnecessary lies.
He may forgive you, but you have created a real problem for there to be trust.

MaBalzEsHari · M

If you feel the need to lie for ANY reason.........you will again and next time who knows about what? Cheating? Stealing from him? If I was him...............buh bye.......is the only option.

cherokeepatti · 61-69, F

You need to fess up now and let the chips fall where they will

This message was deleted by its author.

SW-User

You look like a girl I spoke to once called Isabel.

It feels like a bit of a dumb lie and honestly, the lying itself might be more bothersome than what the lie is.

When I was on the other side of something like this... it took some time but I did accept it. In the end it didnt change the person I loved. She was no different than from before the lie.

Hopefully, for your case, he feels similar.

I just wouldn't keep dragging it on. The longer you wait, the more he'll be hurt.

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MoonaNorth86 · 36-40, F

He didn’t ask to see your degrees

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

You need to tell him. He may forgive you and he might not because at this point it’s a pattern since you lied to him about your virginity. Good luck

tenente · 36-40, M

just tell him, word for word, what you wrote in this post. tear off the Band-Aid and move on.

if he stays in your life, or not, really doesn't matter right now. you have got to talk to someone (a shrink, counsellor or health pro) about your insecure feelings that got you to your situation - - if you don't solve that it will happen again.

this world is painful, but it can also be good too. i really really really hope someday you will be comfortable with who you are, and find comfort and happiness. g/l

Moneyonmymind · 31-35, M

You lied knowing he would find out eventually? Yikes.

MethDozer · M

Dang you fucked up