My family is straining me financially. I am a 25 year old recently qualified doctor and this is...

I have known parents who have ruined their children's finances through emotional blackmail. You need to be extra cautious if you are not living with them as it becomes much easier for them to run stories over phone.

You may have got hints about her money handling from childhood.. like whether she constantly struggles financially by spending first and then patches up by borrowing. Some are shopping addicts and some even have a private gambling addiction now that online gambling is easy

You need to put a check on her, make her testify her stories. Alternatively you pull up a story that you are having a pay cut or have lost money.. another way is to ask for a loan from her by offering interest.. or that you have to pay an urgent installment and you are short of money.

Predict her pattern and you spin a better story in advance. You can tell her not to depend on you for money for say a year by quoting some investment.

PTCdresser57 · 61-69, M

My suggestion is to explain to her that going forward she needs to get her finances in order and you will help if possible as you now have bills of your own to pay.

familyfunguy · 56-60, M

If part of her love for you is for your money, then she only loves you half as much to begin with. I would have them pull themselves up by their bootstraps if the money is not for some kind of medical need.

ElwoodBlues · M

Did you get loans to pay for med school? If so, that's a good reason to form a strict budget. You can put your mom on a budget as well as your loans and stick to it.

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Daddysgurlox · 26-30, F

Take back control of your life. Make your own boundaries. What you work for is YOURS

HootyTheNightOwl

Talking is the easiest route if you can.

Just sit her down and explain that you don't mind helping out with emergencies here and there - but you can't and won't go on funding basic household things every month. You have your own bills and expenses, too.

Failing that, you need to look into saying "No" and creating distance between you and your family.

plungesponge · 41-45, M

Leaching off kids is the unspoken reason why people have kids. You gotta decide how much you willing to look the other way and pretend that's not the case, for the sake of old times

DeluxedEdition · 26-30, F

A lot of people don’t realize how hard it is being a doctor when you first graduate you have to pay back all of those loans in for a while you’re in the red

Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M

I'd just say you've got things to pay for and be honest.

No parent is gonna pressure you past that. Unless she genuinely poor, but apparently she's fine.

Spoiledbrat · F

Be careful. She's your mom. If she asks for it and you don't have it tell her that. Tell her where your money is going but there is nothing wrong with helping her.

akindheart · 61-69, F

very sad. you have to set some boundaries. i am sure you have to pay student debt, right?

Spoiledbrat · F

Are you still living at home? Who is paying your student loans?

Puppybog123 · 13-15

Stop supporting them

SW-User

You're intelligent enough to be a medical doctor, but you can't speak to your mother directly about this?

You need to be direct with her, tell her that you have your own bills to pay and your own savings that you need save to start your own life, just say no, no means no, don't allow a cycle of financial abuse to form

TJNewton · M

😂😂😂😂 You bots are hilarious

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