3 weeks of talking to this girl…

And then she asks “is it okay if I’m asexual?”

Like yeah it’s obviously okay, I don’t judge people for their sexuality, but frankly it feels like you wasted my time.

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AngelUnforgiven · 51-55, F

Why didn't you discuss this before hand? When you meet someone and you're having the get to know me conversation and I'm not talking about weeks later. You have to ask some questions. I am different from most people. I am not going to sugarcoat or coddle people I'm going to tell you exactly what I want and tell you exactly who I am. So that neither of our time is wasted.

Ducky · 31-35, F

Well, not if she just wanted to be friends from the beginning... 🤷‍♀ Though, I personally find it hard to take anyone who refers to themselves as asexual seriously; that if one truly were, they wouldn’t need to say it. Could be her way of trying to tell you she just wants to be friends. Idk

GabbySA8 · F

@Ducky sadly ducky, we met on a dating app and had romantic conversations regularly

Ducky · 31-35, F

@GabbySA8 I see. I’m sorry to hear. You know her better, of course, but it seems to me like she’s only saying she’s asexual as a way of telling you she’s not interested. Whatever the case, it sounds like you were jerked around by her. Sorry that had to happen, but look at the silver lining: better 3 weeks than 3 months or years, like many others spend in empty relationships. Don’t let it bring you down, let this experience make you tougher and wiser instead.

Pressure

I’d be disappointed because girl it’s been about 3 years for me and you’re barely telling me this now?!

I was getting ready for you 😩

SomeMichGuy · M

@Pressure weeks

three weeks

GabbySA8 · F

@Pressure super disappointing. She told me she wanted a relationship just w/o sex and I’m like, that’s called being friends

SomeMichGuy · M

@GabbySA8 EXACTLY

LisaCook · 26-30, F

sorry to hear that hugs!!!

RockVolleyGirl · 18-21, F

I would have felt the exact same way, Gabby

KiwiBird · 36-40, F

Well I hope you told her that you accepted that on the basis of her allowing you to Bsexual.

GabbySA8 · F

@KiwiBird I’m Hsexual though

Zeuro · 26-30, F

@GabbySA8 I was about to ask if that was a joke, and then I realized you meant Homosexual not Heterosexual 😅, like um miss I think you’re confused… no not sexually confused, vocabularilly confused

This message was deleted by its author.

GabbySA8 · F

@DarkCrazyArtistGeekGamer like I don’t wanna shame anyone’s sexuality, but fr that pisses me off if they don’t tell you/me upfront, sorry you were also put through that.

Zeuro · 26-30, F

Like, did she give any kind of indication of that beforehand? In your conversations, did she like, seem ace? Did you guys have the “what are you looking for on here?” Discussion? I’m not asexual, I go on dating apps mainly just for hookups and meeting people (tbh I’ve come to realize I’m probably aromantic), while I don’t bust out the aro term I make it clear very early on that I’m not looking for any kind of serious relationship. Weird if she was engaging in talk about doing stuff but never mentioned she actually had no interest in that.

Now, is it possible that she’s asexual but alloromantic? Like maybe she wants a romantic relationship without the sex part? Would still suck if she didn’t communicate that for 3 freaking weeks, but I know some people might still want something with someone even if it’s not sexual. Maybe she didn’t think to mention it because she doesn’t really understand how/why the sex part is genuinely important to a lot of people. An “it’s not something I care about in the slightest so why would anyone be pressed about that little insignificant detail?” bias

GabbySA8 · F

@Zeuro there were some mild indications that I realized I may have missed in retrospect but she never came out and said it. She wanted more of a romantic relationship but no sex, which I can understand but I felt like I was led on. I have no hard feelings towards her now, and I wish her the best💜

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