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I am curious....

Would you be upset if you were going out on a date (with someone who you have been seeing for some time) to dinner and a comedy show and this person decides to wear sweats. Meanwhile, you have picked out a lovely outfit that fits the vibe for the evening. Would you be bothered by his/her lack of effort to meet your level of wardrobe choices?

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PoetryNEmotion · F

I think you could discuss what to wear before the date. And if you have been dating for awhile this person likely knows how you feel about this topic? Did you talk to him when you realized he was going to wear sweats? I have 2 pairs of colorful sweat pants. I wear them on cold days or nights and never in public. I think they belong in home and not in public, myself. Maybe at the gym because slobbishness doesn't matter there.

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skmokisses · 46-50, F

@WindTherapy My thought as well. I assumed because he indicated what he would like me to wear that he would be matching my attire.

PoetryNEmotion · F

@skmokisses Well, your comment adds a new level to this. He picked out classy clothing for you and then decided to dress slob casual. This is disrespectful. Did you go on the date with him dressed in sweats? I would have asked him why he dressed that way. I would have asked him if he even wanted to go. Do you find this kind of problem in general with him in your relationship? Sometimes dating after a long period of time means people take each other for granted and no longer feel they have to care about their appearance. I would discuss this topic further with him. Is he the right kind of partner for you?

skmokisses · 46-50, F

@PoetryNEmotion I felt it was disrespectful as well. Yes, I did question his selection of clothing. Didn't go well when I expressed that I felt like I was a reflection of him on this date and visa versa. He appeared to take that as some sort of personal attack on his character. He proceeded to have a passive-aggressive tantrum. We did continue on the date. It was a double date actually and we had already paid several hundred dollars to see this comedian. If not, then I think he totally would have canceled because of my response.

Kaetana · 56-60, F

I would be disappointed.

How does he usually dress on these occasions?

If I’m going on a date with a man who isn’t my husband the case may well be that I wouldn’t know his understanding of ‘the correct etiquette’

So unless he had already proven himself to be reliable in that department. I’d probably check beforehand that he had the correct ✅ memo .
Beforehand .

RosaMarie · 41-45, F

Don't you have open communication with your long standing dates? I would absolutely ask in advance what my date plans to wear for a date. That's how to avoid this. Unless he told you one thing and did another, then this is at least partly on you for not having this figured out in advance.

skmokisses · 46-50, F

@RosaMarie Yes, we communicate, and it was communicated how he wished for me to be dressed, so I assumed he would be matching my energy and efforts.

RosaMarie · 41-45, F

@skmokisses Oh, well, that's certainly an issue.

Livingwell · 61-69, M

I'm with you on the energy thing. He should be dressed as nice as you are. Put in the effort. You want to show him off too. And it reflects on you if he's dressed inappropriately.

skmokisses · 46-50, F

@Livingwell YES, exactly!!

JamesBugman · 56-60, T

When a guy gets a little chubby, his "fancy pants" no longer fit, so short of going out shopping his sweats are the best option. Guys don't like shopping, it means spending money on closet stuff and not on fun things. Did you complain? If you did, he might be pushed to buying more "fancy pants", otherwise he will take it as acceptable to wear sweat pants.

skmokisses · 46-50, F

@JamesBugman I voiced my concern. It did not have the effect that I had hoped.

WindTherapy · 56-60, M

Yeah if it were a "date" I'd hope they'd put some effort into what they wear. Comfort is one thing, but unless I know the other person is wearing sweats as well, I wouldn't.

skmokisses · 46-50, F

@WindTherapy That was my thought as well. If we were doing something more casual I wouldn't have been as disappointed.

acupaday · 46-50, F

I’d instantly question whether or not they wanted to even go on the date. Like, I’d actually ask them to give them an out if they needed one because that’s what that conveys to me…they’re not into it.

skmokisses · 46-50, F

@acupaday I felt like that was what was going on.

inaccessible · 51-55, M

Not if I'm a male, which i am. I believe most men won't object to whatever their date puts on, some of those males, won't realise that the other party don't look at it the same way.

dirge

I can see where you would be, I can't say for sure that I would be.

luckranger71 · 51-55, M

I can't imagine any situation where sweats would be appropriate on a date, unless we're talking about a hike or some other outdoor activity. For a dinner and comedy show that seems absurdly crass. Did his demeanor on the date match his lack of effort in terms of appearance?

skmokisses · 46-50, F

@luckranger71 Yes, in the beginning, it certainly did. Almost as if he was trying to get out of it.

Tumbleweed · F

Yes I would.

MrAverage1965 · 61-69, M

I would definitely be bothered. In my mind sweats are not to be worn in public under any circumstances.

Adogslife · 61-69, M

Unless I was going to the gym, I’d never ever wear sweatpants in public. I may be odd, but it just screams lazy and slovenly.

ronisme1 · 61-69, M

I would be upset by anyone who would wear sweats out on a date unless there was a medical reason.

AnneHoney · 41-45, F

I think if we had dated several times I would know what to expect.

Kiesel · 56-60, M

Absolutely

bijouxbroussard · F

Yes…if they chose to wear sweats and we weren’t going on a walk or to the gym, I would indeed be disappointed.

Degbeme · 70-79, M

I love women in grey sweats............... oh wait that wasn`t the topic, was it?

Wearing sweats to go out with someone isn`t classy.

skmokisses · 46-50, F

@Degbeme Well now that is a whole different topic ...LOL

Degbeme · 70-79, M

@skmokisses Where was dinner, Arby`s? 🤔

skmokisses · 46-50, F

@Degbeme You would have thought so...LOL

Secretsmile · 51-55, F

Yep sure would!

Wireman · 31-35, M

some people have no idea about dressing for the occasion. At least I try to dress accordingly, but also not as smart as I used to do.

workathome · 56-60, M

absolutely I would!

Zonuss · 46-50, M

Not really. Especially if it's those tight black yoga pants. I love those. The clothing doesn't make the person. Its the person inside the clothes. ☺

bikelover · 56-60, M

You are a lot to live up to 😉😊

skmokisses · 46-50, F

@bikelover LOL .... not true 😋

bikelover · 56-60, M

@skmokisses ha you do brush up very nicely indeed 😍😉😊

skmokisses · 46-50, F

@bikelover Well thank you ☺

Thrust · 56-60, M

Oy vey, did this happen to you? 😮

skmokisses · 46-50, F

@Thrust Sadly ... yes🫣

Thrust · 56-60, M

@skmokisses

As Seinfeld said, wearing sweats is telling the world you've given up on life. So you might as well be comfortable 🤷

QCDog2659 · 61-69, M

I would say that his clothing choice was not close to acceptable.

Pfuzylogic · M

If this was a first time and they knew your expectations… sure!

skmokisses · 46-50, F

@Pfuzylogic Perhaps that is where I dropped the ball ...... I didn't vocalize my expectation to get dressed to go 'out' on a date.

Pfuzylogic · M

@skmokisses A date has certain expectations and something besides sweats would be expected. Hopefully it can be a positive learning experience for both of you.

Musicman · 61-69, MVIP

Yes I would! If we are going to dinner and a show I don't want to see sweats. That is not acceptable.

YourMomsSecretCrush · M

I will withhold judgment until the end of the date.

VeronicaJane

Definitely disappointed and bothered....

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

Yes.

Thatsright · 61-69, M

Gold chain around the neck too?

skmokisses · 46-50, F

@Thatsright Thankfully NO🤣

Yourwildestdreams · 51-55, M

Absolutely. Who wears this 80’s sweats 😅
Most uncomfortable and unsightly apparel I’ve ever encountered . The only thing right about them is the name, they make you sweat 😂