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It is a difficult thing to talk about and he probably just doesnt know how to say it, if in fact he is bi or gay. I imagine, for most, telling a parent would be the hardest. Most people I know can't talk to their parents about sexual things very comfortably. My experience was very different but I have talked to others and it seems pretty normal, especially if he has not yet moved out on his own and established his own life, that he would be cautious about what he tells you.
You could find an interesting gay novel and read it when he's around so that he sees you reading it and then tell him about what you're reading and express positive words about the gay experience. If your son hears you saying that gay love is a beautiful thing, he might feel freer to talk
You could find an interesting gay novel and read it when he's around so that he sees you reading it and then tell him about what you're reading and express positive words about the gay experience. If your son hears you saying that gay love is a beautiful thing, he might feel freer to talk
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SharonP · 41-45, F
because you think it and you like the idea doesn't mean he is, he could just be a little effeminate, could be he is Supporting some one who is,
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
@SharonP I thought that at first.
SharonP · 41-45, F
@Hopefulangel123 unless you caught him with someone you don't really know
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
@SharonP Yes you are correct.
GentleJoe · 61-69, M
My son is gay. My late wife recognized it long before I did and told me. We were supportive of him from the beginning. He's an adult now and quite happy in his life.
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
@GentleJoe thank you for sharing. It always great to hear happy outcomes and stories.
4185philip · 70-79, M
Let him know you support him. Harder for him than it is for you. We had a gay son and made many lovely friends of his friends they were always welcome at our home and used it as a base.
4185philip · 70-79, M
Your support is vital he will know and support you to. He is just normal and will have more in common with you than most sons. You are so lucky.
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
Thank you. I agree 😊@4185philip
4185philip · 70-79, M
We told our son it didn't make any difference so relationships just developed he went out with girls and boys and was easy and happy with his relationships. No pressure either way . Lovely and wise of you to ask the question by the way.
All you have to do is say that you are there for him no matter what. He probably can't tell you if he is or not cause he might not know himself. So just tell him you are that and wont think any different.
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I just want him happy with his life and choices. I just hope if he is not ready to talk with me, he does have someone to turn to.
jennypenny · 70-79, F
If he's 17 his hormones are still flying around. For goodness sake just leave it and he will come to his own conclusions.
abe182 · 46-50, M
Don't force him he may not be bi or gay and you could be giving him a huge complex.
jennypenny · 70-79, F
To ne there is an awful lot of pressure on young people to 'come out' or decide on their sexuality before they are ready for it. At 17 many young folk are still developing and finding their way. My advice is to be there for him but don't pressure him into any decisions until he is ready.
CharlieZ · 70-79, M
There an age range where almost everything MAY BE confusing.
But something is probably true: they need more peir acceptance and place among them than perent´s words.
Be open to listen to him, but don´t force a talk.
Support his choices but know that some of them are still in the future.
And that a affectionate but not overacted care and stable emotional enviroment will do more than what talking about what he still have no words for (or, at least, not now with his mother) may help.
Years ago, I had to deal with learning to be the father of three girls, with not available mother´s role.
Not the same, not easy, but feasable.
Courage.
But something is probably true: they need more peir acceptance and place among them than perent´s words.
Be open to listen to him, but don´t force a talk.
Support his choices but know that some of them are still in the future.
And that a affectionate but not overacted care and stable emotional enviroment will do more than what talking about what he still have no words for (or, at least, not now with his mother) may help.
Years ago, I had to deal with learning to be the father of three girls, with not available mother´s role.
Not the same, not easy, but feasable.
Courage.
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
Very well said and thank you for the wonderful words of wisdom. I really appreciate them. @CharlieZ
CharlieZ · 70-79, M
@Hopefulangel123 You are and will be welcome, lady.🍀
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
He and I have talked since. He is happy in a relationship. I am so grateful he is becoming his true self. [@
Jennagurl · 46-50, T
@Hopefulangel123 it went very well and it's been years since I came out. I was overwhelmed by her support.
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
That’s awesome. I hope I can support him the way your mom did. 😊@Jennagurl
Jennagurl · 46-50, T
@Hopefulangel123 be there if he needs you.
as long as he knows you support it he will come and talk to you when he feels comfortable. are you trying ot get advice on getting him to talk about it to you? all you can do is make him feel comfortable around you tell him you will love him no matter what happens.
Elysese · 70-79, M
This may sound a bit weird, but you might write him a longhand note on nice notepaper expressing that you want him to be happy, feel loved, be accepting of who his is, that you're there for him always, and whatever else you want to say. My mom sometimes did that for me and my three brothers when it was a difficult, sensitive subject. We only occasionally followed up with a discussion with her, and when we did it was great. But it was wonderful just knowing that she was open to talking about anything, any time, without prejudice. Most importantly, don't pressure him. He'll talk to you when he's ready.
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
@Elysese wonderful suggestion. Thank you so much
Elysese · 70-79, M
@Hopefulangel123 You're welcome https://images.similarworlds.com/emoji-original/1f642.png
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Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
Oh my goodness yes. We all need love. We all have different needs. We are all individuals and we should love and accept each other as we are. @nudydude
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Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and I will do that. @PhilK
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Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
There is nothing wrong with chatting with others. To be honest there has been some bumps along the way so your suggestion is timely. @PhilK
froggtongue · M
I can see quite a few differing thoughts here. Hard to choose which would be the best path. But I say at least let him hear from you your thoughts as to what you think about homosexuality and that you have nothing against it. Maybe you could be direct with it and tell him it's his choice but you will still love him no matter what. Or maybe it doesn't really pertain to your own self and you should let him choose whomever he wants as his partner would be his choice. But seeing that you care for him and only want him to be safe and happy, I'm sure you're going to do alright however you handle it.
homespun2 · 61-69, M
dont push it .give it time and something will happen and give you a chance to talk.
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
I didn’t mean or am I prying. I am just concerned that he has someone to talk with. I see so many suicides and self harm behaviour because of our choices with our sexuality and life choices. I guess I am just a mom who worries to much.
abe182 · 46-50, M
@Hopefulangel123 just have a good relationship with your son so he knows he is loved and can come to you freely about anything.
At 17 I was barely talking to girls and had no clue who I was. It's a very young age.
At 17 I was barely talking to girls and had no clue who I was. It's a very young age.
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
@abe182 Thank you so much. That’s great advice.
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SW-User
Don't push it,if he does confide in you, then just be supportive
masterofyou · 70-79, M
Just be there for him he will open up just give him your back...
Caramelwonder · 36-40, M
Let him do things at his own speed he will Come to you when he is ready


SW-User
If he wants to resist it... encourage him in that. Modern ideology is anything goes, and that there's no damage to being bi or gay, but truthfully, you can find plenty of gay persons who will tell you otherwise.
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
@SW-User Thank you for sharing.
Mia123 · 41-45, F
@SW-User It is nice that someone to guide sensibily..


SW-User
@Mia123 Thank you.
Skilllickous · 51-55, M
Let him go with a flow he’ll open up slowly 🙏🏻
NeloAngelo · 26-30, M
ask him and no matter the answer accept it as true. if he doesn't know don't lean him one way or the other. if he wont say anything about it don't make him. put your wants on hold. its him that has to deal with it. maybe there's nothing to embrace.
denvixen35 · 41-45, C
Just talk to him :)
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geekie · 22-25, F
why do U thnk it?
RemovedUsername816554 · 51-55, M
it's wonderful that you want to help him. I am bisexual and have only lately embraced it. I'm in my forties. Luckily my wife is cool with it because she loves me. Your son is very lucky to have you as a mother.
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
@RemovedUsername816554 Thank you so much. I want him to be happy and enjoy love and life.
rfhh1959 · 61-69, M
You are to be commended for your steadfast support of your son. The best thing I can say is just have an atmosphere where he can tell you anything at anytime
Best of luck
Best of luck
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
Thank you 😊 @rfhh1959
Khenpal1 · M
do you really think he knows himself at his age ?
4185philip · 70-79, M
@Khenpal1 With respect. Its not a view it is the way he was born.
TheThinker · 56-60, M
@Khenpal1 Some people do, some people don't. I've known I was the way I am since I was six years old...
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
St0ut · 51-55, M
It’s not something you can force. He may be a straight effeminate male as well.
I have a feeling he knows your are ok with however he turns out and that’s a good thing.
I have a feeling he knows your are ok with however he turns out and that’s a good thing.
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
Yes he does and yes I am. We all have a journey and we always support each other. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. @St0ut
Mk8155 · M
I believe when he is ready to talk about it, he will come around. It takes time to deal with personal thoughts
Mk8155 · M
Message me?
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You are correct. @Mk8155
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
Ok@Mk8155
snowman65 · 61-69, M
I have several cousins and nieces and nephews that are gay
snowman65 · 61-69, M
@mountainman1234 different families here,
mountainman1234 · 70-79, M
@snowman65 I do have others in the rest of the family but it is unusual to have two in the same family (brothers)
snowman65 · 61-69, M
@mountainman1234 for sure.
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Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
You are awesome and I’m sure she love you for being so understanding @Armydad
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mountainman1234 · 70-79, M
@Armydad Good for you soldier many older soldiers do not think this way ,,,
mathsman · 70-79, M
Actualy, nothing need be done other than normal mother-love.
When he is ready he may talk about it.
Why do you think he is bi or gay?
When he is ready he may talk about it.
Why do you think he is bi or gay?
Dadbod52 · 56-60, M
do you know any one else that has that orientation?
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
Yes we do. 💗@Dadbod52
Dadbod52 · 56-60, M
@Hopefulangel123 may I message you?
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
Of course you can @Dadbod52
jimjim1969 · M
Have him talk with a bi-gay man to mentor him
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
That’s a great idea. I will talk with him too see if he would like to talk with someone who understands his relationship. He talks to me and I am glad. But I’m a mom. Not a guy that understands things differently. Thank you again @jimjim1969
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
If you are volunteering to talk with him he is willing to talk. @jimjim1969
mountainman1234 · 70-79, M
I will talk with him any time he has the time ,,,,
Docdon23 · M
support him, whoever he is, and give him space...17 is a sometimes confusing age
Hoosierxdaddy62 · 61-69, M
Just let him know you love him and support him, he'll open up in time.
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
Yes you are totally correct. He is opening up. I am so glad @Hoosierxdaddy62
Mikedewars · 70-79, M
Really, at 17 you shouldn't be prying or even peeking into his sex life.
MinMan80 · 41-45, M
He will be fine just let him figure it out it might take awhile.
lou502008 · 61-69, M
just tell him how you feel. communication is the key. be supportive
Almostman434 · 46-50, M
Yes encourage him and show him what pleasure he will get.
Atrevido1 · 61-69, M
Give him time. All he needs to know is he has his mom.
Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
@Atrevido1 That he does. I will always be there for him.
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Hopefulangel123 · 51-55, F
Pm me if you want to share. 😊@AtomicMan525


SW-User
Just be there as much as he needs you.
river52 · 70-79, M
Be honest and talk with him
Jennagurl · 46-50, T
Why do you feel he's bi/gay?
Jennagurl · 46-50, T
Why do you think he is ?
Pat999 · 31-35, M
Great news, support him
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